Descent

This post is inspired by Nono aka @RealistXX and Thetoolsman.

On her blog yesterday, Nono put up the 3rd installment of So You Think You Can Think where a small portion of a story, usually the conclusion, is put up and readers come up with their own versions of the story. Thetoolsman provided the beginning of the story this time (highlighted in green) and here’s what I came up with

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His eyes fluttered open. The bright bolt of sunlight that flooded the room stung and he quickly closed them. He tried to move his hands towards his eyes to shield them but the pain he felt was excruciating. Some seconds, perhaps minutes passed and not so distant sounds of movement brought him back to the present. He knew he had to move. He had to get up. He had to open his eyes. Using every bout of strength left in him he pushed up from where he had been lying and he opened his eyes, wincing loudly as he did so…

He let his eyes get accustomed to the bright light and took in his surroundings. Well, it looked like there wasn’t much to take in. He was in some sort of great unending white room. What he’d thought were rays of sun was a dazzling glow that radiated from all around. The only memories he had of a place like this was the movies, when a character had died and gone to heaven. Wait! Was this heaven?! It sure didn’t feel like it. But then again, how was he supposed to know how THAT would feel?! Well, for one, there certainly wouldn’t be this much pain in heaven. It would feel a lot more like this morning… Aha! He remembered something. This morning, she’d been making sweet love to his mind. Getting all up in there and doing him like no one else could. Mmmn… now That was heaven. But… That didn’t say anything about how he’d gotten here. Where was here anyways?

As he struggled to his feet, intent on finding some answers, he heard some fluttering sound in the near distance, the same ones he’d heard as he came to, and whirled around to a beautiful sight… Beautiful, honey-golden coloured creatures dropped from above and landed as softly as feathers on the beautiful white in the distance, glistening and glittering in the light. They were of so many different shapes and sizes, and asides their colour and great beauty had something else in common, they looked pretty familiar. Even as he watched, more of them fell out of the sky, fluttering closer and closer to where he stood and he began to make out their physiology, leaving him in wide eyed wonder.

They were words… Her words. The same ones she had used on him this morning. And even as they fell all around him, discovering on closer inspection that they desaturated and darkened as they settled into the white like drops of water into dry soil, he remembered.

He remembered stumbling across her words on what must have been his first peep into this world and how he’d fallen in love with them. How they were so other-worldly and yet he found them so beautiful. How he had longed and longed to visit her world and how he had finally realised that her words were his ticket there. He remembered letting them take him, bring him, here to this world. And it was all bliss.

Until…

Until, a rude shock, turned it to a hell ride. These words, these were not her words! They belonged to another person. A man. They belonged to… TheToolsman! Those words, now beautiful, again ugly, had let him fall, plunge down here to his demise! But some other words had come. They had come and broken his fall, saving him. They had still crashed into the beautiful white ground, leaving him unconscious for a bit and in a great deal of pain, to which he’d just woken, but this he couldn’t ever forget: These words were also beautiful.

But they were not hers… Nor were they TheToolsman’s…

As he looked about him, he realised that yes, he had arrived at her world successfuly, but no, not to her words…

These words, belonged to him, @OlaToxic. And together, they had arrived here in Nono’s world, in her blog.

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For other takes on the story, visit the comment section of So You Think You Can Think 3

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This entry was posted in Fiction.

15 comments on “Descent

  1. ibetapassmynebo says:

    First????

    Like

  2. ibetapassmynebo says:

    Hehehehe…….visit ARO today!

    Like

  3. highlandblue says:

    This IBetaPassWoman.! Hey Ola I give it to you, you’re a genius. Lol. And which of you has the girl tho? The Toolsman or you?

    Like

  4. chinnydiva says:

    awww…this is noice, I liked your rendition. Me sef I’ve gone to do my own, and it turned out too long *sigh*

    Like

  5. Vivian Obey says:

    🙂 at the risk of sounding like a broken record…you are a brilliant writer…i like what u did here really nice. I see this is your style though,throwing your readers curve balls, i shall come prepared next time.

    Like

  6. ThePriest says:

    Dude this is nice. Only thing i would say is tune it down a lil, sometimes i think you get too carried away in your narrative/description and eventually the story is lost. One has to go back to be reminded of the subject matter

    Like

  7. ibetapassmynebo says:

    @highlandblue …..yea wot can I do u for? 🙂

    Like

  8. terdoh says:

    Ola, this is brilliant men! Four thumbs up!

    Like

  9. *clapping* LOL! Nice one! Me sef I want to write my own. 😦

    Like

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