White, blank and intimidating. One of the most tortuous experiences I have, and very regularly too, is having to stare into the face of some form of nothingness and make something out of it.
You see, painful as it is, it is my job to do this. No, it is beyond a job, it is my calling, it is my purpose…
It is what I was created to do
But flawed as I am, it can be difficult a lot of the time. The whiteness which is meant to be my conquest looks me in the face and mocks me. No matter how many times I have faced and vanquished it in the past, hydra-headed monster that it is, it rises again and taunts me, scoffs at me, knowing full well it will eventually fall, but revelling nonetheless in its power to unnerve me while it can.
I will vanquish it again. Several times over, as I have before. But too many times before, it has been with my back against a wall, or overhanging a cliff. Never in retreat but usually in defense. I should be on the attack more often. I should be on the attack all the time.
Perhaps, what makes it more difficult is how my tormentor comes in many shapes, sizes and forms. In many textures. In many tones and shades. Such that when I have mastered one or the other of its forms and am well practiced in the ways of vanquishing the inherent nothingness, but inadvertently letting the skills needed in vanquishing another form lie fallow in the process, I am taken aback when faced with the form I have not practiced at in a while.
The nothingness, not always white takes many forms…
Drawing Paper. The canvas. The stage. Photopaper. Cloth. The Monitor. Clay. The notebook. Leather. The blank wall. My body.
But I find some solace in the knowing that as diverse as the forms of this nothingness are, so are the tools and weapons I have been equipped to battle it with:
The Pencil My first love, still the one I first rely on when preparing my campaign…
The Pen The one for the decisive and final strokes. Permanent and never to be erased…
The Brush Still the weapon in my arsenal the handling of which is most awkard. Has got me out of a few scrapes though…
The Spatula
A tool I have entirely laid down. Once weilded it with great prowess. Alas, gone are those days. Or are they?…
The Scissors, Needle and Thread Weapons some assume, wrongly, are only for the feminine folk. If they only knew…
My Body Weapon of Mass Destruction. Lit up the stage, the screen, the dance floor. The monster sleeps… for now…
My Voice The tool with which I amplify the power of my pen. Works wonders, believe…
The Mouse and Keyboard/Keypad The ones that supply the daily bread. The ones I groom the most for the battles ahead…
The Camera With which I freeze and capture moments in time. The beautiful, beautiful moments…
But the sea fights back. That feeling of exasperation one may get when one stares at that great white sea and balks has been given many names, the most popular of which would be The Block amongst writers, Seeking Inspiration in art and music circles or generally… Laziness. Laziness is most often the real issue but don’t we all like a little dose (sometimes a large one) of denial? So we say “I have writer’s block” or “I need inspiration, mehn” but hardly ever “I need to get over this laziness”. But, I admit to myself and to the world, here and now, that I have been lazy, very much so.
However…
My creator has equiped me well to go forth in his likeness and likewise create, and create I must. The sea of nothingness I will now and again vanquish and fill with something or the other. I will replace that white with colours bold and bright, images striking and captivating, movements swift and sure, patterns simple and complex, shapes crisp and defined, words insightful and inspiring, art pure and true… all of them beautiful. For this is my calling, my purpose, my destiny.
For like my creator, I am creative.
I am an artist.
***
Can you relate?
nostalgic words of future me 
Deep. -_- but I’m getting you sha.
You sew? Awwww. How adorable ^_^
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Well, not the way you think. Leather goods only. Used to customize my jeans back in school though, Denrele style… X_x
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olatoxic u rock…asin i ve actually gotten wrk done bcos i came out n told myself ”gyal u r lazy,but im not sure how long u wan b lazy for”..
Thanks for a good read..
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Good for you, gyal! *now adopting your style* But then isn’t that a symptom of schizophrenia… :s
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Wow.
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Laziness! My worst enemy.
It’s like you can see through my soul…..through your glasses.
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Yeah, I can… and you need a soul transplant asap! 🙂
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Yep, I can so relate…
I also want to learn how to sew…
I love this post
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You should if you wanna. Live life without regrets…
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Aww!
You Sew..So Cute..
I Cant Even Have Writers Block..Im not A Writer.
But Im Extremely Lazy.
This is A Really Good One Mr. Toxic 😀
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Thanks! 😀
Wait, you’re not a writer?! Then who’s responsible for that great blog of yours?! /:)
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First five?
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Nope, sorry bruv. But here’s a banana for spunk….
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🙂 Yes, you are an artist.
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Indeed, I am… as you are…
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Thank you, kind sir. *curtsies*
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LOVE……….
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*swoon* No more words, Nono loves my piece of writing… *doing a jig in the rain*
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Amazing..like our creator made the earth out of nothing, so we must do the same, out of the the seeming emptiness or lack of inspiration, we must create. You are a true artist, and this piece is a beautiful work of art.
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Righto, comrade in art. Righto!
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RT “@CapoeiraPanda: Wow”
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So what next? What craft do you intend to Master next? What form of art will capture your interest?
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I could tell you, but then the ninjas would come after anyone I pass that info on to… and you stand no chance against the ninjas… 😐
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I love this piece!
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This piece loves you too, honey… 😉
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Beautiful piece, Toxic. I love. So much!
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*bows humbly*
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Awe-inspiring!
I’m getting off my behind to write now.
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*in hysterics* Yes! Yes!! Write!!!
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#DEEP
“For like my creator, I am creative.
I am an artist.”
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It is a beautiful read, what I love most is how u compare each new design u r presented with, to a taunt. D white monster no matter how many times u’v faced it, it still poses a challenge. I can relate 2 dat on d edge feeling, wen u have reached ur limit and just say the heck wiv it and end up producing sth beautiful. In actual fact, waiting 4 inspiratn is in itself and act of mediocrity to an xtent…what am I rambling on about? LOVELY PIECE TOKS, I can relate
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Yay! She can relate!! And she’s deep too, just look at all that insight! 🙂
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I feel you, as a writer nothing is more annoying than the mocking whiteness of paper. True a lot of us (myself included) hide under the excuse of writer’s block. The key is to write through anything till you stumble on greatness.
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While that is true, it has never really worked for me as an individual, probably due to afore mentioned laziness. If it ain’t working, I usually put it aside and get back at it later. I’m only now trying to work up that discipline of keeping at it till it yields…
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Fantastic! If this is the result for each voyage on the sea of white nothingness, then it is well worth it. Great job!
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Pretty damn awesome. Love the style and the metaphors.
However, a humble opinion: in my experience, to truly transcend mediocrity, an we must focus. There must be a primary art. A first love. Carrying too many weapons may sometimes weigh you down when swiftness is required for battle. Like the samurai, a beloved Katana and a back-up wikizashi are found to be optimal.
Focus and fly, bro.
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Indeed bruv. Which is why I have laid down some of the tools and weapons mentioned there. I don’t dance or act anymore. Hardly ever perform my pieces anymore. Dumped sculpture after majoring and specializing in it back at school. Digital art is presently my main-stay.
I believe I mentioned all that, albeit metaphorically, in the piece.
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Wow.. Can so relate.. Does that mean I’m an artist too?
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You wanna be an artist? *sprinkles saw dust* Voila! You’re an artist!!
ps Sorry, I ran out of fairy dust… *shrug*
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Oh Geez!!! U jst ruined my blonde wt pink & neon green streaks artist’s hair!
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“For like my creator, I am creative”. Love it. All of it!
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Grazie, beautiful miss…
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Totally true! (Though right now, I really do lack inspiration for everything! :()
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*sprinkles magical sawdust all over* How’s that? Can you feel the inspiration yet?… 😀
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YES!!!!!!!!!!!! 😀 *doing the jig*
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Wow!Beautifully crafted words….
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Now I see…with two different lights.
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Hmm, I see the second light you see too… 🙂
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WOW! Woooooow…..
This is deep stuff man!! See tools?! I think this is one of my best articles you have written so far, man… Good job!
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I’m deeply deeply honoured bruv. Thanks for reading and the feedback is most certainly appreciated.
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My post is probably going to sound repetitive (at best). To say that your words constantly “inspire, intrigue and motivate” me will be redundant (in the least). You can’t afford to be lazy now cause I will continue to look to your blog for . . .
Touché mon cherie, vous l’avez fait à nouveau
Bises.
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*in thick french accent* Ooh, babay. I may not understand ze wordz yoo speek, but zey make my heart to tremble. For yoo, my love, I shall continuu to write… only to make yoo happie…
😀
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Lol… *laughing without restraint* 🙂
*with the sweetest smile I can muster*
merci beaucoup je l’apprécie
bises 🙂
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Whoa. This is profound and creative. Well done Tokunbo
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Thanks ma’am, appreciate it.
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Yup! Im not a writer. :$ Well that is amateur writing 😀
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If you say so sha… But me, I reserve the right to differ :p
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Yay!!! I am deep…I can relate and yes *looking thru 6inch lenses* @ “that insight”….it is a beautiful read mehn. *applause* what an art…
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Wow! Your technique and your skill is impeccable.
Flawless…if I dare say.’….for like my creator,I am creative’-My best line. I can so relate. Thank you for this post. You have offered me the inspiration I so desired. *now skipping off to write*
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Yaaayy! (S)he’s off to write!!
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Brother!!! This right here is my favourite post of urs. Deep on so many levels…and as a son of the arts I can soooo relate.
Sorry I’m just commenting now, but the beauty of this piece is that it’s timeless. The kinda post u can come back to years from now n it still has relevance. Great stuff mehn. *bows like a Japanese bawse*
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*bows back in mutual respect*
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😀 It’s a she.
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The blank space has to be one of my biggest fears mehn. For me it’s redolent of the being put in a strait jacket and tossed in a white padded room with the words, “Oya demonstrate your madness.” But then I decorate it, beautify it until there is another white room to occupy again
😦
Life of a creative.
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Jibso, na so we see am o! Thanks for dropping by homie…
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i love this write-up! (Y)
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Thankees ma’am…
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hello comrade!
just reading this now.
your last two lines are da bomb!
I am a designer and writer and shit…but my mind has not started becoming enamored with the art. I don’t write because I love to,I do it simply because I can. I jist don’t want to ever look back and regret not doing something. I don’t particularly care for the art…just the expression. weird? no. I believe it’s normal.
I have never felt the need to call myself a ‘passionate’ writer. I just believe that whatsoever my hand finds that it does well…
hey!!! don’t tell me dat am not a true writer because of the above o,becos I will get pissed.
ok. I have got that out.it has been in me for a long time.
nice post (y)
keep representing.
oh yeah…I remember why I started writing this in the first place.
it was because I didn’t relate to the post for the above reasons 🙂
who knows,maybe one day I will say, ‘I am a passionate writer’
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Hehehe. Some serious catharsis going on here.
I feel you weller sha…
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I still love this
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*hugs*
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It’s not laziness, it’s procarstination.
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Reblogged this on Am a work in progress.
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