Losing my virginity

Catchy title, eh?

Yeah, I think so too… /:)

This may or may not be a tell-all tale. A few days ago, someone said on a friend’s blog and then on my timeline that all the bloggers just seem to be blogging for shock value now. I know there’s this way all them shocking tell-all tales can make readership, commentaries and subscriptions on a hitherto little-known blog soar. You know, those controversial topics/discussions that have comments in their hundreds on theToolsman’s blog/site? Yeah? Or that post on Terdoh’s blog over this last weekend? (almost 1000 comments!!) Or remember that other slim girl’s post that went on to trend worldwide on twitter, with it’s own hashtag too?! *sprinkling ugwu leaves around* hehehe

Well, what writer doesn’t want some level of exposure and acclaim? And who doesn’t want some level of popularity, at least? The knowledge that there are people who greatly value your words and take them to heart? Who doesn’t want that kind of far-reaching influential ‘power’?…


Well, that may or mayn’t be me. I won’t deny or admit that’s what this is about. You’ll just have to read and find out for yourself. And maybe at the end of this, you can even tell me whether or not this falls into that category.

Now, where do I begin this tale of mine?… The beginning? Ok, fine. Lehgo!

Well, I’ve always been a pastor’s kid. The term actually defined me for a bit, especially back in high school- my nickname in certain circles was omo pastor. For as long as I’ve known, until very recently, my life has been centred around church. I mean, I was born while my father was studying in the seminary and following that, we actually lived within the church premises until I was ten. Now, as expected, virtually everyone in church knew all the pastor’s kids and seeing as church was really big growing up there was almost nowhere I would go where I wasn’t known as an omo pastor. Heck, today I still randomly meet people I’ve never met previously who recognise me from back then or who hear my surname and ask if I’m truly the son of my father. Well, not literally sha, but you get the picture.

Why have I started my tale with this and what’s it got to do with that controversial title? Here’s why. Growing up, due to my ‘omo pastor status’, one phrase I heard more times than I wish to ever remember is: All pastors’ kids are the worst. It always came in different variations but the idea was always the same. And almost always, it came with examples given with dramatic emphasis of some pastor’s kid(s) somewhere or the other who did this or that that even an unbeliever’s kid would never do… *smh*

I’m not here to admit or debunk this theory… What I will say about this though is that I know quite a lot of omo pastor’s who are upright and well behaved, at least, outwardly. And not because of their parent’s ministry either but because it’s who they’ve consciously chosen to be. I personally believe that in describing human behaviour, making blanket statements and using generalisations are unacceptable. That you or someone else knows some pastor’s daughter who got involved with drugs or a bishop’s son who is into yahoo yahoo, doesn’t then mean ALL pastor’s kids are that way, does it?!

Okay, moving on… to me… For as long as I can remember, I’ve been seen as the kid in my family who wanted to ‘escape’. Artistic, adventurous and having a potential wild-streak is how I would’ve been described growing up and so I was the one who was constantly monitored and hawked-over (for whatever reason, I came to the conclusion that it was so I wouldn’t ruin the ‘family image’)… X_x

I wasn’t allowed to go to a boarding school after passing common entrance in primary 5 cos I was “too young/small”. Got admission into King’s College the next year, but ended up a day student all my six years there. Then I tried to get into ABU Zaria in my first Jamb attempt ’cause I heard they have one of the best art schools and got accused of trying to ‘run away’ (I passed but the results of everyone in my centre got cancelled). I ended up getting cajoled to pick Unilag in my next attempt and now I’m a ‘proud’ Unilag alumnus. *sigh* I almost wasn’t allowed to go serve when I was posted to Katsina but… Nah! Me I wasn’t going to stand for that. E don come wan dey too much dat time… Are you getting my drift here? All my siblings, by the way, went to boarding houses far from home. Same thing with higher institutions. Na only me dem tie join wrapper throughout.

It wasn’t until I got into ‘Lag that I truly became free to make (some) decisions for myself. And like a caged bird set free, I revelled in that freedom. Ol’ boi, I did and undid o! Went clubbing for the first time in my life. First girlfriend… Ok, this one was actually really stupid. Lemme spell it out for you:

Day 1: Met chic for the first time through some friends. Pretty girl, I noticed…
Day 2: Hung out a bit with mutual friends
Day 3: Mutual friends and mine who saw us together the previous evening tell me that it’s kinda obvious “…say she dey feel you die”
Day 4: We go clubbing together. It’s my first time in a club ever…
Day 5: I ask her out, she says yes!

5 days, yo! *rolling eyes* Yeah, ridiculous, I know. Especially for someone who’s always been about serious relationships and never been one for flings. Moving on… Joined my first dance group (outside church) in which I danced alongside one very dark-skinned dude called Wande. Amazing dancer he was but he’s now a singer. Back then, he went by the name Black Wand 😉 We acted/danced in our first (and last) movie, Tunde Kelani and Mainframe’s Campus Queen. Landed my first major role in a tv soap that same year… You sha get the drift of “I revelled in my freedom”, shey? Ehen…

I bet at this point, people be wondering so what has all this got to do with the title and when do we get to the juicy stuff nah?! Cool ya blood jor! Baby steps, yo, baby steps…

Okay, let’s fast-track things a bit. Present-day. I came on twitter actively about february this year and one of the things I noticed was the edginess… the near-raw sexuality of a lot of the terrain. Lotsa weird twit pics, hashtags and twitter lingo almost had me running scared again but I decided that I was finally going to just stick it and make some sense out of the madness, and maybe even get something positive out of it. It’s how I was exposed to the work of some amazing and talent writers which then inspired me to start this here blog of which I’m very proud… Oh, I deviate again? Sorry…

The sexuality, abi? Okay. Well, I saw/see people talking a lot about sex and stuff with frankness and honesty and I was like Ok, cool, whatever makes you happy. But when I started seeing people bashing my personal choice of sexual orientation, I thought it was sad, real sad. And perhaps needed to be addressed and that there is largely why I’m writing this post.

You see, we live in an era where the opinionated people with the ‘biggest’ voices seem to dictate the way the rest of us ‘little people’ live our lives. Peer pressure is evident everywhere around us, some positive, more negative. I can’t even have an unpopular sexual preference without being judged and bashed on anymore. And so, I’m writing this post to stand up for what I believe in. I’m not trying to shove it down anyone’s throat o, neither am I trying to put anyone who doesn’t subscribe to my decisions or preferences down. I’m just here to state who I am and ask that you accept me and the other people like me without judging me/us. Same as we have (largely) accepted everyone else.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am unashamedly, and entirely by choice, a virgin

I made the decision to ‘keep myself’ until marriage a long time ago, sometime during my teens. It was a conscious and well thought-out one and seeing as I’ve decided to put myself out there like this, I owe anyone reading this the truth about why… I chose this path according to the convictions of my faith. I’m a christian.

I’m a firm believer in To each, his own… and like I said earlier, this is not about putting anyone with contrary opinions down and so I choose to not continue along ‘religious’ lines in this discourse so as to respect people with different beliefs within and outside my faith.

I will say this though, staying this way has been entirely by God’s grace. I’m a proper open-eye omo-boy. I know wassup weller. I’m not claiming to be a saint here. I’ve been in relationships before and I understand the phrase Body no be wood. I’ve had my fair share of near-misses. There’ve been times where it really wasn’t by my will that I didn’t follow through on well-laid plans (not necessarily mine o) and so, I repeat, it’s entirely by God’s grace in my life. I say this moreso because I realise there are people who are not virgins, not because they don’t believe in the concept or decided they wanted it so, but because that decision was made on their behalf, in a lot of cases, forcefully and I commiserate with any such.

In conclusion, I’m coming out to say this as testimonial to the fact that it is definitely possible to be cool folk today with no deformities socially,physically, psychologically, physiologically or emotionally and still be virgin or celibate. The default reaction I get when I tell people I’ve never had sex is Yeah, Right!! However, I personally know many, many people like me who are likeable, correct people, well accepted by society who have remained virgins by choice. They would not all declare it to the whole world like this because they deem it unnecessary. I, however, am of the opinion that too many young ‘uns today make the decision to do away with their virginity like a soiled diaper out of the misconception that everyone is doing ‘it’ or that if you aint doing it, you must be some kinda weirdo. They need to know this, that You don’t HAVE TO be that way if you really don’t want to and that Not everyone is doing it

After all, I’m not.

I am OlaToxic and I’m unashamedly and purposely a Virgin

249 comments on “Losing my virginity

  1. afrosays says:

    I’m getting you.
    Of course, a man chooses who he wants to be and that’s that.

    Much respect.


  2. 'loba says:



  3. demisilverlining says:

    Oh wow…. Finally! Someone! A ray of hope! So wait, did my comment that day freak you out? Lol.


  4. @edgothboy says:

    Bien! Stand up for your convictions. And stay unashamed. I doff my hat to you…


  5. @bule_jr says:

    Toxic, for the brevity of this post, (HUGs).
    I am strongly behind you in this, have stayed off sex since I decided to take GOD seriously, as stated subtly in my post in may. NICE and I really liked this.


  6. Wow….

    Putting this out there like dat….my respect for u jst tripled.


  7. Giagerry says:

    “I chose this path according to the convictions of my faith. I’m a christian.”
    “They need to know this, that You don’t HAVE TO be that way if you really don’t want to and that Not everyone is doing it…”
    These were my favorite quotes from here.


  8. keLvin says:

    And I almost thought he was gonna say “the black wand is Wande Coal’ I woulda famzed..*hills*
    Brothamayne, be assured tho, after this,them sisters are gonna come calling and when they ‘knock’ u berra open.
    And yes we rep Christ…
    *secret shake*

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Bukonla says:

    Nice one. Me, I love sex. Lots of it. But no gymnastic-moves for me. I hope you settle with a babe who’s got skills of a porn star when you marry, so the wait will be worth it. Amen?
    P.S. You wank a lot, right? I’m sincerely curious. Cos I read somewhere that sperm needs to be let out at intervals (apart from wet dreams).

    Liked by 1 person

  10. @topesmooth says:

    Nice piece. Toxic its absolutely inspiring and I do hope its makes younger and older peeps strong enuff to stand by their choice and nt shift ground due to external influences. So ola thanks its gonna go a long way in the life of many people and yh did call ​U̶̲̥̅̊ “Omo pastor” back in KC. 😀


    • Elly says:

      I just hate the hype on sex, sexual immorality is the devil’s main tool in self and youth destruction in this end time buh of course someone would give me a sit for this one. “shit” is so sweet they can’t imagine going without. I lost my virginity to one of my father’s boys. He was molesting me and would always pray with me for forgiveness after each ordeal*spits* by d time I became a teenager I was flinging my body…. Nva had sex wiv one guy more than 4times till I met my present partner(first true relationship ever) sex never got better, I understood sex, I stopped hating sex, he was giving the kinda sex the devil tries to tempt me with eva since I gave up my old nature. I wish I were a virgin in all innocence of the word(Yh those of u doing every oda thing apart from total penetration, u r not virgins)… I regret not being a virgin despite the fact that I just got real sex(love-making,fucking, adventure etc) buh it’s not worth losing my salvation. I’ll keep waiting till i’m married. If u av not seared yur conscience with hot iron, u must agree that sex is over-rated nd comes wit so much trash wen u get it at d wrong time. All these long grama means I am proud of virgins, I envy them and i love this post. And team abstinence till I marry.


  11. malota says:

    Mad respect…
    There are people who don’t also drink or smoke who are cool, I believe that you can be a ‘practicing Christian’ and still have a fun-filled life..there are greater joys than these. God bless you.
    *goes back into my corner to think about sex and its relevance for an unmarried young guy like me and the bottle* smh Malota u need to change 😦


  12. Deola says:

    Well, oh well. I like the way you wrote the post without judging whatsoever…like you said “to each his own…”


  13. Deola says:

    I half expected u to say “I’m gay tho”. Hehehe


  14. Awwwww. Toks *hugs*
    *sigh* now I have to cross of your name 😐


  15. demisilverlining says:

    *sigh* I can’t believe all these sex myths still exist. @bukunola, u dnt have to ‘release’ ‘sperm’ at intervals. SEMEN is a natural product of the body hence its gotten rid of when its not ejaculated. T doesn’t build up and cause madness( the things I’ve heard ehn), neither will the testicles swell from semen storage. Since its ‘made’ from natural substances like proteins, water, sugars and all, its broken down and ‘recycled’. Dnt let anyone deceive you.
    I swear, I probably have to tackle all these ‘myths’ someday. It just saddens me. That’s how one yeye boy will come and tell one dopemu girl that he will just do it once, she won’t get pregnant. And d ode too will open leg. The things we hear in Med School ehn. God dey…

    And yeah Toks, I thought u were coming outta d closet. U know, admitting to being a homosexual. 😀


    • Bukonla says:

      ‘gotten rid of when not ejaculated”… broken down and recycled’. Does it come out as cold sweat or urine or fart? Seriously, I need to know. And all those ‘near-misses’ and blue-ball days….cant those things cause prostate cancer or hernia (from the cold shower to tame Bob Dunga)? Educate me


      • dhamyhan says:

        1.spermatogenesis reduces temporarily when semen is not being let out. 2.Semen is made up of sperm and about 3 different kind of fluids from about 3 different kinds of reproductive organs and dis semen ONLY gets produced DURING sexual activity and wen ejaculation is anticipated. 3. Hence these sperm cells(they’re cells u see) stay in d testis in the absence of sexual activity and I assure you they don’t take much space.


    • Damilola says:

      Yes oh! Those sexual myths r still making their rounds oh! And d 21st century modifications r really hiliarious. I hope the ‘someday’ u have in mind for tackling these sexual myths come soon b4 our generation come in2 d parents’ phase of our life cause mehn, we r like d most ignorant of the past generations on this subject. Parents hardly expect their lil 9yr old, sweet-faced daughter (since i am female, i wish to use a girl as an example) to even have the word ‘sex’ in her vocabulary! But alas, she already has doctorate degrees in this particular field of study before her parents finally work up the nerve 2teach her. If she “educated” them on sex from her brimming well of knowledge, na cardiac arrest straight, esp for d papa!


  16. Mz_Shadee says:

    Marry me 😀


  17. isetfiretotherain says:

    Okay o! Climax sha


  18. oyinDamoLa says:

    I am OYinDamoLa and I’m unashamedly and purposely a virgin!

    I feel u! I v had near-misses esp of late! But somehow it dint feel ryt and I stopped… Guy is my boyfriend (my 1st actual boyfriend) and initially I thot “hell, y not! I love him and wanna end up with him neways” but my conviction & belief (made lyk wen I was 10) of staying a virgin till marriage held me back!
    Now I’m gonna b away 4rm him 4 3yrs…derez prolly no hope 4 d rship evntho he promised to b celibate but I won’t bank on dat.


  19. Chyk RJ says:

    Mehn, U’re a brave nigga… Nuff respect! Nuff respect!! (Y)


  20. rachelle says:

    Nice..i like nd may i add dat i am Rachel nd am unashamedly nd purposely a Virgin!!


  21. iamsamsie says:

    Its worthwhile letting people also know that if you’ve had sex you can still be celibate..your partner will celebrate it..just as much.I’m so proud of you dearie..


  22. stfub says:

    Awwwh *sigh* Wish I had kept mine. Big ups.


  23. padded says:

    Yeah… I remember your face from the W.A. meetings! (Wankers Anonymous, ladies and gents). So errrm… Kidding!
    I think it takes HUGE ballz to choose to keep your virginity though. Spot the irony!


  24. Good post hun! not being critical of people and their choices has definitely got you being one of my fave persons right about now. Please stick to what you believe in and I hope wifey appreciates it when she comes.


  25. TosTos says:

    Nice one Tokunboh!


  26. @Kayshawy says:

    Much respect to you my friend! This is definitely a blog to follow….to each his own!
    The term ‘omo pastor’ itself puts a lot of pressure on the kids….sigh.
    I dare say u can decide to be ‘good in all respect’ and still be cool but your association again defines u in the end. @Olatoxic…this is the first part of a series…there is hope after all!
    #inothernews…I was almost scares u were coming outta the closet *phew*


  27. PreyingMantis says:

    Now Nollywood can release its version of the 20-something year old virgin. Who’d you like to play you? I’m thinking Mr. Latin

    Post doesn’t require any bravery. You simply believe in something the world scorns & cowards hide from. What would be interesting is how long you intend to keep it & the sacrifices you’re willing to make here on after

    Nice one man


  28. demisilverlining says:

    Lmao! Sweat or fart ke? Haba. Everything is broken down and reabsorbed into the system. Its nature’s way of ‘not wasting resources’. And no hernias are not as a result of calming junior. To avoid me scattering ur head with medical lingo, I’d advice u to google it. Its really simple though. Prostate cancer on the other hand is a very touchy topic. There r physiological variations as to those susceptible to it.


  29. demisilverlining says:



  30. papyrusczar says:

    Dude I find it hard to believe that you of all people are a virgin. I learned early that there’s nothing wrong with being a virgin and you should only lose it when you want to, and at your own time.
    Much respect oh, and I’m glad you’re proud of it; there’s nothing to be ashamed of. May God save you from the women that will hunt you. You already know why they will, right…..? hehe


  31. Sick Sage says:

    This is a good one bro, I might not agree with your ideals, but I respect the fact that you’ve made the choice and decided to stick by it. Bravo

    P.S: You danced with Wande Coal? Bad Guy!!!


  32. FuntoS says:

    Love it Ola! Takes a strong mind and the grace of God to be celibate in this generation..


  33. demisilverlining says:

    All medical questions should be directed to uncle Sick sage. I’m looking at u bukunola. Lol


  34. FF says:

    Hmmm…hope u dnt meet a Delilah soon..


  35. Chidz says:

    Much respect…


  36. Ms_Anee says:

    Really nice post. I admire u for taking a stand for what you believe in. May God grant us the grace not to fall into temptaion


  37. nancynie.. says:

    Nice one Toks, Feels g☺☺ϑ, exhilarating actually to know some peeps can stand up for what they believe regardless of whether it sounds unconventional or old fashioned, or something in between. I’m α virgin, by grace alone o..cos by things I did ehn..as in looking back on the stunts I pulled..or almost as it were,-pre and post Unilag days, I honestly still wonder how I left those fleeting moments of passion unscathed and still ‘intact’..it could only have been God walahi, infact that’s another day’s story. And to think I’d made up mind since I was about 8 to remain one until I get married, and then as I grew older with raging hormones, I figured I could negotiate playing with fire and keeping my word at the same time..smart me..lol! Until I realized grace would only flow by how determined I decided to be.
    Well, lemme not bore U̶̲̥̅̊ further, but I’m engaged to the man of my dreams 😉 and hoping to tie the knot before the end of this year by God’s grace..and boyfie feels privileged and is soo thrilled about the fact that he’ll be the first to enter my ‘jerusalem’..infact our honeymoon plans are very crazy ..God help us both!
    Big up bro,and like ў☺ΰ have rightly said ‘each man τ̲̅ȍђ his own’, I daresay I’m with ў☺ΰ on this one..


  38. First time I’m reading your blog. I like this. Do what you believe in and works for you. It takes guts (and grace) to be able to do that without being swayed by popular opinion.

    Btw, I was scared you were going to say you were gay. 😀


  39. no1chick says:

    *sneezes*^10…….as you all were.


    • ruud_bishop says:

      Evil child wetin u find reach here?
      @Olatoxic….nice one wish I could say d Same here but but but u Know d rest.










    • Tomboxe says:

      Dude you sound hella frustrated. What gives?


    • Unique_me says:

      bobo yo i gboyinbo rara. Fuck Fuck Fuck. DAT NA ALL U SABI. mscheew. U berra go to one of d many camps on Lagos-ibadan expressway and let someone deliver you from the spirits of all the mami-water u’ve slept with. Nonsense and ingredient. mscheew. Aids is real o, in case u havent heard.


    • Unique_me says:

      bobo yi o gboyinbo rara. Fuck Fuck Fuck. DAT NA ALL U SABI. mscheew. U berra go to one of d many camps on Lagos-ibadan expressway and let someone deliver you from the spirits of all the mami-water u’ve slept with. Nonsense and ingredient. mscheew. Aids is real o, in case u havent heard.


    • lol, but nobody is forcing you now. HE SAID HE’S JUST SAYING O! MAKE YOUR OWN CHOICE!


  41. Toxic… Respect man!


  42. fee says:

    On your writing, you take too long to get to the crux. Reread and edit. Do away with the questions. Your readers aren’t dumb. We get your point.

    On virginity, kudos on standing up for your choice. The pressure to conform are immense. I’m 27 and a virgin purely by choice. I took the pledge as a teenage and have kept it…most of it. However, I will never “come out”.


  43. moi says:

    I am reli glad to see this on blogville. A real breath of fresh air. God bless you!


  44. creamandcoffee says:

    lmai I dead thought you were going to say you were gay or bisexual. my bad.
    So… umm.. congratulations? I don’t know what to say to you :s


  45. lammie says:

    I started drinkn at an early age, nd I quit, just d occasional cocktail nw nd then , nd I’m tryna give up on casual sex, so I can relate but the toxic in yur handle doesn’t refer to yur sperm now does it?, big ups man be what u wanna be


  46. @weird_oo says:

    I do know quite a lot of male virgins (they are nerds though lol) and I do commend ur ability to stand up for what you believe in considering how sex-crazed this world seems to be. Kudos Sir! You’ve inspired me to remain true to myself and I thank you. Arigatou gozaimasu!


  47. Nugwa says:

    Just Like my best friend told me yesterday… “#TeamJesus is much much more than just a hashtag…” #Deep… (Y)


  48. rockah says:

    All i can say is; its easy for you cos you don’t know what you’re missing.


  49. 'il Cicero' says:

    from the comments here, it seems there is this mad discrimination towards homosexuals… see peeps talking abt it like its some sleeping bull in a china shop waiting to be aroused from sleep…
    in case u didnt read the post, ‘keep ur opinions to yourself if you cannot make a non-discriminatory statement’

    mw, nice post Toks… From a policy point of view, i think virginity shd be encouraged… it might help reduce world population by 1%


  50. @fumiswift says:

    erm………erm…….I think I shouldn’t. I’d rather not say…….No comment………


  51. kechilauren says:



  52. Don says:

    I’mma be honest, when u got to the part where u said u were a virgin, I skipped to the end… Good for u though.


  53. Mo' says:

    Thumbs up.. It takes a lot of will power to stick to ur word. I respect u and I’m not following your blog 🙂


  54. @ilola says:

    The way people fall is cos they’ve been deceived that every cool person is doing it. That is the biggest deceit of all time. There are still many cool virgins, of both genders out there. The wait is definitely worth it


  55. oburo onu cho cho cho somebody... says:

    Because most people have sex and wank, they come to define the rules for us all and even go to the level of doubting peoples intentions and calling you names. What this bold statement has done for you is that you have shown us all it is possible even without ‘lack of opportunities’ as we always hear. Much respect for keeping with this decision. This post really touched me.


  56. ibetapassmynebo says:

    D topic tho…Sir Richard Branson Crossed immediately…lol
    Uzzzzaz wah???? Virgin…..cool cool…..

    Ther’s nofn to b ashamed of…ur choice I respect
    Awww can’t wait for ur #datawkwardmoment on ur wedding night…. 🙂


  57. Toxic…ehen…why is it when I made up my mind to do my own version u ran n did ur own. U don turn telepath abi. Well sha, well done.
    Seriously tho, u said practically everything I wld have said mehn. Good stuff. I might still do my own post tho, lerrus see how The Board decides sha.
    Meanwhile, TRIPLE TUAILE for team VIRGIN (for d first time in Blogsville, he opens a bottle of Virgin Cola) hehehehehe


  58. Sommyb says:

    Much respect Ola. You painted a big Bulls-eye on your back with this one. God Grant you added grace


  59. mabijo says:

    You encourage people by opening up.(Y)


  60. leonmacedon says:

    Hmmn… Quick question: Do yu lose ur cherry by jerking off (to a girl)?? I mean dat’s how far I’ve gotten in dis sex of a thing.
    Congratulations (I fink) man. Not dat it’s a choice I’d have chosen, but I’ve got mega respects 4 yu… Luv ur writing style


  61. erm… i dont even know what to say.


  62. idondidit says:

    Finally, some one that shares my same point of view. Well, if you are telling the truth and not for the sake of filling your blog post i’ll say kudos. It aint easy mehn!!!


  63. DeMorrieaux says:

    Definitely a nice piece..

    Funny enough, being an omo pastor myself, I can more than relate to most of the things you wrote about. My parents had to accept (sooner rather than later) that I was the free/liberal/curious, and eventualy came to especially love and appreciate that charactersitics of mine. It worked… VERY well, if I may say: they’ve now sent me to China 🙂

    In reponse to the post: It’s a bit shocking to see one having to “defend” being a virgin. When did being a virgin become “uncool” or “weird” or “strange”? Hmmm.. well, most of the ppl in my friends circle (guys excluded, wouldn’t vouch for them) are virgins too; so YES.. I can confirm that there are many many many of “your kind” out there lol

    stay blessed


  64. terdoh says:

    *sigh* I have carried last again. And this time its paining me because people don comment die, and I wanted us to discuss this.

    I’m the son of a pastor too. And yes, I’m a virgin.

    Sue me.

    I’m not a virgin because I don’t want to have sex, or because the opportunity hasn’t presented itself. No matter how ugly you are, there will always come at least one opportunity in your lifetime.
    I’m a virgin because my father explained to me how important sex is to the two people involved in the act. Its not just the heimleich maneuver, or the wheel barrow.

    Its a tie. A soul tie. And you both are bound together whether or not you realize it.

    This shit scared me shitless. And even though I’m not nearly the superstitious type, I believed him, cos he absolutely knew what he was saying.

    No sex till I get married.

    As usual Ola, good work. (And you danced with Wande Coal? *passing current* Bad guy!)


    • This is the exact reason I made up my mind all those years ago that I wouldn’t have sex till I was married. Omo fear catch me mehn. Nice to see u’r one of us Terdoh. *continues sipping his Virgin Cola*


    • SlevinCalevra says:

      The fuck? Terdoh?!.. GTFOH!!! Heheheheheh bloody joker LMAO


    • Unique_me says:

      Oooh God bless you Terdoh. Finally. I wonder why people have decided to be so myopic. Sex is more spiritual than physical. When a girls hymen is broken by the penetration of a man’s penis, blood spills on both of dem, and omo, na blood covenant be dat. ok, m just trying to be scary. But serzly, dont people wonder why couples who have been married 20, 30 years and over, look like each other? its because they have done the thing so tey their soul and bodies have ‘merged’ and like the bible says, they have indeed become one flesh.
      wen a man finishes having sex, he is not the same. that is because two things leave him. his sperm, and his spirit. a fraction of his spirit. think about it, u reach climax abi orgasm, and den u collapse and sleep one serious sleep. sumtyms, 1 hour the guy is still sleeping…on top 10, maximum 15mins activity, which is supposed to be pleasurable o, no be sey person chop firewood. the amount of strength a man loses during sex is equal to the amount of strength he loses when he runs round a standard football field 30 times. and i didnt just make that up. So if u sleep with 300 girls, u don give share ur spirit with all 300 of dem. no wonder life expectancy has dropped…..ok, my comment is starting to look lyk anoda blog sef. i dey go.


    • Muna says:

      I’m also a pastor’s child and you just said it all
      Pity, I stumbled into this post 3years later
      @olatoxic..your blog is awesome, I just followed on twitter


  65. Haha terdoh you were serious? Wow!! I did not believe you!! Ok well here’s my comment I’m a virgin I think… And I think its cool that there are still male virgins out there.. Like I always say, I’m simply waiting for the right person..whether he comes before marriage or not Yes the right person, someone I think is worthy of it… I waited till I had someone that was willing to light candles for me before I had my first kiss, and I was in year 1 before I had my first kiss.. Yes I’m that deep!!I think its all in the head though and how strong the person is and of course the most important God’s grace!! And may it abide with us forever. Amen


  66. Oh and that soul tie thing is very true best believe that besides if I start having sex now with my boyfriend, if we break up which is very possible, every other boyfriend I have it will only make sense that I have sex with them too now? So if I have 10 bfs before marraige that’s 10 people ill have sex with? When I think of all that, I just zip up!! Shikena!! I can’t be having problems in the future and be looking for the trace!!


    • NoIDidnt says:

      You are more than right. I’m 23, and still a virgin. I can say i’m very proud of it. I’v had 3 boyfriends (not counting the ones who only wanted me because of sex) and i’d always had the strength to walk out of each relationship. Y? cos I had nothing to regret. One even had the guts ( just after 2 months of dating ) to tell me he couldn’t continue a relationship without sex. I showed him the exit door. I’m better off without his likes. I’ll wait for as long as it takes. i’m more than determined. So help me God


  67. mistybikers says:

    nyc…thumbs up 4 being a virgin nd not being ashamed bout it


  68. Chukyjunior says:

    Bold, brilliant, challenging & inspiring. I ws kinda relieved though when ur declaration was virginity… U’b built it up almost lyk u wer gonna say u wer gay or something lyk dat. Lol.
    Nice one tho.
    Impressive that the insect dat preys on blogs had compliments to give too.
    Carry on in this thy might!!


  69. Thelma says:

    lovely piece, alot of peeps here stil dnt understand or just pretend not to..


  70. 0laToxic says:

    Thanks so much for all the comments so far.

    For once, I wanted to stay out of the comments and just let people say what was on their minds… But Terdoh’s comment!! Some deep sturvs right there that I deliberately left out of the post that I think should be discussed.

    And then TheresTwoOfMee put the icing on the cake with “…if we break up which is very possible, every other boyfriend I have after, it will only make sense that I have sex with them too now.” I like to borrow the pringles slogan and put it thus: Once you pop, you can’t stop!

    So do you agree, disagree on these? Let’s learn from you…


    • I said this post was the beginning of a series…


    • Unique_me says:

      well u are a man after my heart, and God bless u plenri. virginity is a thing to be proud of. i quit my first relationship because i wasnt gonna have sex with my boyfriend. now i am not a virgin, but it isnt by choice. “I say this moreso because I realise there are people who are not virgins, not because they don’t believe in the concept or decided they wanted it so, but because that decision was made on their behalf, in a lot of cases, forcefully and I commiserate with any such”. Go figure.
      i still believe in waiting until marriage and i am not having sex. Virginity IS dignity, no matter what this twisted generation thinks. Kudos to u, took a lot of bravery to come out lyk u did.


  71. Ayaba says:

    Everyone has said virtually all I’d want to say so I wdnt repeat. I just got one question for you. You know I love u right?


  72. osinubi says:

    Very Short post. Lol
    Isn’t it entirely possible that we make too much of sex?

    “All a Nigga wants to do is FUCK yo!” , one says

    “Its a tie. A soul tie” …

    Dogs have sex, as do mosquitoes. Big deal.

    Why should sex connect ‘souls’? I have never seen a direct scriptural reference anyway. If it is a sin, then sin is sin, whether it is an unprovoked slap or a three-way.

    Sex is a simple, primal need.it involves no heart or brains.

    That you do it does not make you special (no matter what Television wants you to believe), that you refrain, does not make you special.

    Brave post anyway. You’ve put some thought into it. I fear however, that your cycle is not complete.


    • DeMorrieaux says:

      1. “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh” (Gen 2:24)

      2. “What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh” (1 Cor 6:16)

      ..if that’s not some serious tie, I don’t know what it is..

      3. The tying of souls is NOT exclusively limited to sexual relationships. (See: 1 Sam 18:1) “And it came to pass, when he had made an end of speaking unto Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.”

      I’m obviously not going to preach on someone else’s blog, but there are many resources out there, shedding more light on the importance of abstinence and the dangers of pre-marital sex.. Sex is obviously more than a joining of bodies. The fact that one doesn’t know, understand, believe, or accept that truth, doesn’t make it untrue 🙂


    • DeMorrieaux says:


      osinubi :If it is a sin, then sin is sin, whether it is an unprovoked slap or a three-way.

      I disagree, for the following two reasons:

      1. “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.” (1 Cor. 6:18)

      2. “If you see any brother or sister commit a sin that does not lead to death, you should pray and God will give them life. I refer to those whose sin does not lead to death. There is a sin that leads to death. I am not saying that you should pray about that.” (1 Jn 5:16)

      Wouldn’t have brougth in Scriptures on my own, but you asked for them 🙂 Bless


    • Beseech says:

      took the words from my lips, much ado about sex..*sigh* The only thing that influences what sex is is the character of the individual…


      • nancynie.. says:

        Nuff said by DeMorrieaux tho, but lemme chip this in as well: Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled, but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge (Heb 13:4).
        Besides, marriage is not conducted on the altar infront of the clergy, or in the presence of families of both parties,but sex is the ONLY valid proof of α marriage after the procedures and protocol involved, which is why in law if α couple get married without CONSUMATION of the marriage (which is the sex), that marriage can be anulled without it being a divorce case.
        Based on that, ў☺ΰ can imagine how many of us are married ‘without knowing’ to all people we’ve had casual sex with. I rest my case..


  73. Mz_Shadee says:

    😮 😮 Terdoh is a virgin?! Oh my…..I’m proud of u guys o, for real. My brother was a virgin till he got married, so was his wife and exactly 40 weeks later they had a bouncing baby boy (that’s something to look forward to) 😀 ok that’s not what I wanted to say.

    Olatoxic I beg to differ on that ‘once u pop u can stop’ u actually can IF u decide to. I started having sex early in life and a few months ago I decided to take a break!

    I think it all boils down u deciding to stop really, and trust me just cos u av tasted d sweetness of sex it is VERY HARD! But once u make up your mind, d rest should be easy…I think 😀


  74. Early Man says:

    Brave Post!! Much Respect…
    Terdoh’s comment does it for me


  75. Tiger says:

    ok oooo… to the Virgins out there, thumbs up, it a great ‘lifestyle to maintain… To the Non-Virgins out there also, thumbs up… if you enjoy it, fine and if you regret it, at least dont kill urself…

    Mw, with the outpour of solidarity here, i think most virgins should leave their ‘Virgin Anonymous’ lifestyles and come out… its no use being a virgin if you cannot stand up for your lifestyle and defend it wherever…


  76. bozz says:

    Dangerous Sperm Build-Up is a killer disease that kills young men in their prime due to ruptured veins of the penis. This is caused by lack of sex for a long period of time as well as konjilokpanshis aka blue-balls. This is common amongst male virgins and can be cured with lubes like engine oil, tetmosol, okin soap…etc


  77. V1C3NZ0 says:

    Hahahahahahahaha. Nice one and kudos to you bro. I only just lost mine :'(. One quuestion tho? Do you wank?


  78. jessica says:

    This is fresh…in the sense that it feels good to know that some few people can still hold their heads despite the crazy meaningless rush we are constantly in. That’s really really fresh!


  79. iamsamsie says:

    Once u pop,you can stop..when you have reason.
    Good enough reason.
    Many young people lose their virginity because they didn’t know better..who doesn’t want to keep themselves for a special person?
    This is the issue..be thankful if your parents made you realise the depth and importance of sex.
    Some kids have to educate themselves and learn bitter lessons
    Don’t blame people who are not virgins because few of them ever go all out with the intent of doing it and losing it.
    Kids are misled by peer pressure,coerced and sometimes feel the need to conform and gain acceptance
    If you’ve had sex you sooner realise that outside the confines of marriage it makes you feel dirty,used and unwholesome..it dips self confidence and starts of vicious cycle of re affirmation of worth.that is the basis behind popping and inability to stop thereafter..u need someone to make u feel sexually attractive to remind u that u r worth loving and then sex feels like love because indeed something is shared..
    But if you meet God and realise that its better to please him by staying free of sexual sin then u can truly find the grace and a reason to stop..
    You can decide to stay celibate..its almost as good as being a virgin..and somehow it has a deep impact on ur future partner..knowing that u did this thing and after knowing how it felt to orgasm you decided to keep yourself for someone who had proven their commitment before God and man.so u can stop if you have popped..and u will feel better for it…


    • DeMorrieaux says:


      Sometimes people fail/forget to look at the (root)causes of events. Nothing “just happens like that”. Sex was created by God, and it was intended for good. Everyone likes sex. But when one is found to go about looking for it, and dishing it out freely.. something’s wrong somewhere! Everyone wants to love and feel loved; no (mentally healthy) person enjoys being used.. literally.

      From experience, I can say that: When you see a girl messing around (I am a girl, so I will speak for girls in a very general sense now), you can rest assured something serious/terrible must have happened at a crucial point in her life.. that’s a fact.

      I used to wonder about myself and a few of my other close female friends.. who were long caught in the trap.. you saw the manifestation (sexual activity, no-strongs-attached involvements, abusive relationships) and wondered.. some would said “birds of a feather..” (which was obviously not the case, for reasons too numerous to mention and explain now), until the common denominator was found: sexual abuse in our childhood/ teenage-years.

      Unless and until you address certain issues, you will forever wonder where and how it all began. Ignoring it never works (.. as it still lies dormant within, spreading itself like a poisonous fluid, destroying more than you were even aware you possessed.. and- of course- ruining future relationships; especialy marriage!)

      A note for Christians (who want to stop, and amend their ways- sorry, really don’t mean to sound all dramatic) Repenting alone doesn’t do the work either. Praying is one thing, breaking the ties another; and forgiving yet another. Perhaps speaking to a person you respect or whose advice/word you can take would do you some good. I thought myself “Ok” for a long time after I had re-dedicated my life to God, just to “fall back into the trap”. Should you decide to start afresh, you really want to make sure it’s on a solid foundation. Going through the steps with a proper counsellor mgiht be a good idea.

      Enough said. I apologize for this long post.


    • dmaygal says:

      nice comment…i love ds d most ‘..if yu meet God and relise that its better to please him by staying free of sexual sin then, u can truly find the grace and a reason to stop…’ the bottom line here is ‘the grace of GOD’


  80. iamsamsie says:

    Pardon my typhos read btw the lines :p


  81. Yeweezii says:

    This is really a breath of fresh air considering that virgins are looked down and frowned upon these days. I believe everyone has their opinions and personal choices. If I choose to be a virgin, its my choice and so I don’t expect you to judge me because I’m a virgin just like I’m not judging you because you have sex. Very simple. My life.. My choice.

    Having said that, I think is sex is deeper than we all consider it to be. Its a connection between two people. During sex, the two people are one. After they’re done it’s inevitable for them to not have a bit of each other in them. Like they have something of the other person in them. It may not necessarily be a soul tie but it definitely is a tie because two bodies are involved. You get my drift?

    Now I want to commend the writer of this post. It takes a lot of strength and determination to have remained a virgin for this long. I personally think its harder for male virgins than female virgins but we still thank God for his grace. Choosing to remain a virgin for as long as we please is totally a personal choice and there are definitely reasons for that so can people please stop judging us. Thanks 😀


  82. @FoluShaw says:

    Who came up with the term ‘losing ur virginity’?

    Virginity shouldn’t be termed as lost.

    It should be given.

    Given to someone who decides ur valuable enough to be kept FOREVER!


    Just think about it.

    Thumbs up Toks



  83. bimbo says:

    U know wats wierd. I actually learnt sumtin here, its by Gods grace. It really isn’t by how much we try. Thank you for reminding me.


  84. Miss Em says:

    Beautiful POST mehn….(Y) peeps need 2 knw it doesn’t make u a social leper if u r a virgin


  85. Female says:

    Thank you Olatoxic. You are right.
    Not everyone is doing it. I haven’t. Near misses too. I have friends who haven’t either. Amazing, ‘normal’ fun people.


  86. DTJ says:

    Thanks for this post, I was beginning to feel like an outcast in this sexcraved world. Like u rightly said, it is purely based on my belief & in turn it helps me steer clear of emotional, physical & psychological trauma. Btw, let’s start a movement and make virginity cool, what with olatoxic, terdoh, jonasbros on our team #teamchastityrings


  87. Giammatti says:

    Yo… Has @IamStillAVirgin read this post? x_x


  88. Yetunde says:

    Hmmmm….I will tag ur post Retro! Cos talk like this was hot in the 90’s. And Respect! Nt for you being a virgin but for the way ur mind works. Shw me a man who can stand his ground/principes and I will point out to you a successful man in the future. The whole, I like sex, I dnt like sex yarp is a bore. I tot pple hav outgrown it anyways. Well, we all gt our kicks which ever ways….wot some folks just dnt understand is that sex is little to wot makes us human plus I dnt knw why pple swin like sparm to an egg every time they hear the word SEX, VIRGIN…or wot hav u. The word is like a kick to every youth. It’s ur choice man, and it’s strong. in life we all live the choices we make. That’s the edge u hav over others (u can even start ur motivational carrer from that, many youth hav a wavering heart nd ur pointers can help them make good decisions) And trust me TK…u r nt missing anything. Sex without a twist is boring, most youths r just engage in the routine sex *boooooo*. U hav ur old life to experiment on it boy, that’s if u r the adventurous type. PEACE!


  89. @Moonraker_00 says:

    You took on the topic that most people would rather dodge in Matrix Focus, assumed the position that the majority would laugh at to scorn and put your point across with articulation and respect for the other side. I’ve got much respect for you sir.


  90. Didi says:

    Brilliant. I remember u saying something like it when u featured in Bule’s blog I think! So much Respect!
    Yo! I’m a pastor’s kid too 😀


  91. ibetapassmynebo says:

    Ola but wait…I hop u don’t wank….cos it counts! 😐


  92. Tomboxe says:

    Virginity is overrated, as is sex itself. What I like about this is not the fact that he’s a virgin, but the reason behind it. If a decision is based on a faith truly adhered to (by grace) then it’s all well and good.
    I’m not a virgin but I seldom have sex. Choice? Not entirely. I have an “If it happens, it happens” philosophy (quite @Ekwem, no coughing in class), and a principle of never having sex with virgins. Unless of course I marry one, which I’m not that fussed about.
    And just to reiterate what someone said earlier, why should verginity be something you need to come out of the closet about? It’s a choice, and in most cases it’s a good choice.


  93. c'est moi says:

    *singing* Oh happy day!!!
    They exist!!!! I’m in the 6th heaven….oya where are all those people that call me unrealistic to imagine ą ‘soji omo-boy virgin’…they must to read this blog utunu!!!!
    Great use of words….had my undivided attention all thru(which is very rare)
    *dancing away still singing* Oh Happy day….


  94. brawse says:

    interesting post. i totally agree with keeping ones virginity till marriage…recently during big brother africa, some housemates were discussing & i heard something i aint never heard of ‘SECONDARY VIRGINITY’ like wtf. isnt it pitiful how we deceive ourselves with english.
    speaking of english, got some food for thought!
    Q: who is a virgin though?
    A: one who hasnt had sex?!
    Q: what is sex?
    A: oral?! anal?! pussyal?!
    for the Christians remember the Bible says if you look at a woman lustfully, you are guilty of sin!! does the same apply to sex?
    so those of us claiming virgin should break it down for us.
    @olaToxic floreat bruv, remember seeing u in abuja HOTR..nice work here! keep ur head up mate


  95. lizzy says:

    Nyc….I tot u we’re goin 2 say u were gay (d sexual orientation part)….quite short btw.


  96. pheary says:

    I have Found my Virgin… Oh my!!! Where have u been all my life… *Dancing**** I love dis!!!


  97. Maria says:

    Pheary na zombie lol. So i js wna kno, seeing dat uv kept urslf 4 marriage, wud whoever u are gonna marry b a virgin? Like, must ur wife b a virgin too? Or u js dnt mind?


  98. Mz_sosojiga says:

    Too Long jor!.I couldn’t read all of it.


  99. Osemhen says:

    Way to go. 🙂


  100. omoyeni says:

    I’m so happy there are still a lot of virgins out there, because none of my friends are virgins and nobody even believes me when I say I’m a virgin
    I and my boyfriend are virgins, he’s even an omo pastor and before we even met we decided to save ourselves for marriage. And we love each other so much so its quite hard. So we decided to break up so we won’t make any ‘mistakes’ and then if we were really meant for each other we would get back together in the future. I think that its a great sacrifice to be able to wait till you get married because I’m just 18. but I believe its worth the wait and that everything will work out in the end by the grace of God


  101. Joy says:

    Nice post…n u ppl shd nt eat me o! Buh kudos bruv! Nice one…keep it till marriage jare! Ppl like us appreciate ppl like u..nw ppl dnt eat me abeg! #okbye


  102. Sifulinka says:

    Wonderfully written…and refreshing. Yes indeed in this world you are almost an anomaly! 😀 But…I know a few ‘like’ you and they are very, very correct people who aren’t missing out on anything. Its amazing how people tend to gloss over the unsavoury side of sex such as unwanted pregnancies, diseases and even the feelings associated with guilt and being ‘used’ and dumped. Good on ya, Olatoxic, and by His Grace may you remain this way until the right time! GOD bless ya!


  103. @IamStillAVirgin says:

    Great Another virgin like me! Floreat Sir (p.s if u were a boarder kuramo beach and y-not would have changed you)….You might have changed people’s minds and touched people’s hearts and you have spoilt a lot of P-setting parols sha …@Bukonola Hi 🙂 and @Giammati ^_^


  104. Abi Tobi says:

    I agree with you, and in many ways… and can relate too.. I think the world over-rates sex/overhypes sex… it’s no longer precious (like it should be)…. I also believe that no matter how far we try to run as “pastors” kids those principles won’t leave some of us and yes! it’s grace

    People judge other people who decide to wait they call them stupid make mean jokes and all… I sometimes try to understand why tho cos most virgins I know don’t go about making others feel like less cuz they are not…

    crazy world…


  105. Really nice. I loved it. 🙂


  106. zechress says:

    Awww…dis is rili nyc…its gud 2 noe we still ave bois dt r responsible..vry gud 1 n U̶̲̥̅̊ r highly respectd ((hugs))


  107. sheSays says:

    I loved every bit of this…nice post and you don’t have to defend the reason(s) behind this choice…. Terdoh? Mallam Sawyer? *nw sipping virgin coke too*(and I kid not). X_x.


  108. TUMI says:

    Nice blog Ola altho I didn’t read all of it,too fliping long. The comments tho. Terdon, a virgin?! May I bend.
    ….I am TUMI n I fink I mite still be a virgin.:p


  109. Dude! *chop knuckle*
    Iono about wanking sha..
    Isn’t that like “self-sex”?
    ¯\..(•͡.̮ •͡ )../¯


  110. kennibal says:

    Cool story bro (Y)


  111. iskminov says:

    *standing ovation* BOSS!!!


  112. Color Is a Figment of People's Imaginations says:

    Long live the Virgins! (*Sparta warriors chanting follows*)
    Still we rise! 😉
    Lol. I’m just messing around.

    Lovely read, by the way. It’s really impressive your being a guy and putting yourself out there for everyone to read. I’m a girl and I still like keeping that side of me a “mystery”. It certainly is by His grace alone. I pray you are able to stay a virgin until you marry. God bless!


  113. Segun__ says:

    Man U 8- Arsenal 2 …. ( -̩̩̩͡˛ -̩̩̩͡) .. People what is d problem with arsenal really????…


  114. Abee says:

    Now that’s out maybe we can include you in the 50 virgins needed in Lagos for sacrifice to stop the floods….

    IMO this is just too much info….


  115. anon says:

    Yeah yeah cool stuff but took so damn long to get to the point…started to get boring


  116. Lady Jane says:

    Wow. I love this. A lot. I’m 21, and I’m a Virgin too. This is the first time I’m ‘owning up’ to this in public.
    To those of us that are keeping ourselves for marriage, May God continue to strengthen us, and may we tie the knots with the right person;to that special one who would be worth the wait..
    I’m encouraged by this post,and the number of ‘V’s that have proudly commented.
    YaaaY Us! Lol (Y)


  117. 'Dania says:

    I really liked the emphasis on the Grace of God because honestly that’s what it takes.

    Its important for Christians to know that God doesn’t expect us to do it on our own because we can’t. It’s why He’s made His grace available.


  118. dddddd says:

    “From experience, I can say that: When you see a girl messing around (I am a girl, so I will speak for girls in a very general sense now), you can rest assured something serious/terrible must have happened at a crucial point in her life.. that’s a fact.”
    Totally disagree wit ds statement.there is nothng “fact” about it.as a psycholigist,I can tell you that something serious/terrible doesn’t have to happen to a girl for her to be messing around….some pple just LOVE to have sex,dsnt av to be as a result of some deep rooted issues!…


    • Me says:

      I totally agree with you…it isn’t compulsory that something bad must’ve happened to a girl before she begins to mess around…and on the other hand,it isn’t only those girls whom bad things hvnt happened to that don’t mess around..
      Back to the virginity eish…mine was forcefully taken from me at age 17 by 2 masked men…doesn’t mean i run around the streets looking for someone to “do” me cuz i feel “damaged”…i don’t,at all…i’m in a loving relationship that”s headed for the altar n i only feel regret that it was taken from me,that I can’t give it to him on our wedding night…
      Virginity can’t be “lost”…u may “give” it,or it may be “taken” from u…but losing it? Naaaah.


      • DeMorrieaux says:

        After abuse (emotional, physical, sexual.. whether it was prolonged or not) certain things happen which need to be dealt with properly. You may go through life thinking “I’m fine” but having dealt only with the symptoms rather than the root-issues, your “past” is bound to “catch up with you”.
        Typically, after sexual abuse, girls either shut down completely/ isolate themselves/ have trust issues.. or the exact opposite happens: they open up completely (as they do no longer hold a healthy self-esteem/ self-value).. sex or anything related doesn’t really matter anymore.
        Of course you have cases of sheer neglect in childhood, or the absence of emotional closeness etc..

        But buttom-line remains the same: No girl would just open herself up to any-/everyguy because she loves “sex”.. Sexual closeness is not a human-need; love and belonging are.

        It’s definitely a distortion..


      • Belles Pomme says:

        @Me: I believe you can and (when you do get married) are going to give your Virginity to him. It was forcefully and unwillingly taken from you. The mere fact that it was not consensual in any way, shape or form in my eyes and I believe in the eyes of God, makes you STILL a virgin. Although physically it may be gone, emotionally you are very complete. There is a HUGE difference between “having sex” and “making love”.
        Godspeed my dear, and congratulations in advance.

        #team virgins all the way!



  119. A Certain Controversial Bastard Blogger says:

    Oh wow. Congratulations for you, you’re a virgin. Why tell us tho? If because your father and his religion had you mind-fucked for so long, you can’t get any, then don’t try to look sanctimonious. That’s just plain wrong.


  120. akpako master says:

    There are two things involed here
    1. Its either ur gay .
    2. I knw say u for don wank die..lmfao..and by so doing u aint no virgin…tueh


  121. Weirdisnottheword (@no_Deemples) says:

    I av read alot of strange tnz ds week. Bt ds crowns it all. Wow! A male ‘omo-boy- virgin at ‘dat’ age!!! Guy, u are lyk part of ‘the last of a dying breed’. I dnt knw u personally o bet….I am inspired by ds. God bless u.


  122. jericho says:

    Hw d fuck I’m I supposed 2 believe dis nigga is tellin d truth abt his virginity??


  123. jericho says:

    Hw d fuck I’m I supposed 2 believe dis nigga is tellin d truth abt his virginity? Cos dis sounds lik a lot of crap 2 me


  124. Virginity...I'll pass says:

    Good for you!

    I still think that preserving virginity till marriage does not automatically mean the Virgin maniac is responsible, GODLY or would even be committed or faithful in marriage. Maybe it shows some firmness….but again there are loads of non-virgins that are firm; People who never smoked, never drank alcohol, never stole, never really did any ‘bad things’ but only consented to having sex when they really did not even understand what they were doing.

    I have met loads of virgin girls who have NEVER HAD SEX but give the best BJs. Set aside the dictionary for a bit….Are these people really still virgins simply because they have never been penetrated?

    We may lie to the world and break all the rules in secret and preserve only those that can be proven like…..virginity in girls…..God sees the heart.

    Not to take anything away from the post, I think it’s great that there are still virgin boys especially…I’m not just a virgin maniac …happy to miss it!!


  125. freakyjoangeL says:

    1) Terdoh is not joking…
    2) There is no no.2
    … Nice Post Olatoxic!!..i am now joining the ‘keep cherry till wedding’ movement.
    Oh yeah..
    2) i have carried last.


  126. MsSapphiret says:

    This is NICE.


  127. Wanko says:

    *coughs* last carrier noni
    U all claiming virgin after wanking d hell out of ur life IseeUAll
    Quick advice: sardine oil does a gud job


  128. Wanko says:

    Btw transfer market dey close 2day o!, hw far ManU na


  129. obi_jay says:

    MY NAME IS OBI NNAEMEKA AND I AM STILL A VIRGIN! nyc post! at least i know grls to look out for * 😉 at d female virgins* cos me i be virgin and na virgin i wan marry, #shikena


  130. obi_jay says:

    MY NAME IS OBI NNAEMEKA AND I AM STILL A VIRGIN! nyc post! at least i now know d grls to look out for * 😉 at d female virgins* cos me i be virgin and na virgin i wan marry, #shikena


  131. Tomexy says:

    This post is just off da hinges! Well done Ola (whispers: thanks for standing up for PKs too) 🙂


  132. Harry says:

    Love the post Toks. Nice one


  133. […] case you were wonderding, you can find the post on the twitter celebs here and the virginity one here Share this:FacebookEmailTwitterLike this:LikeBe the first to like this post.   Leave a […]


  134. Danny says:

    Ola…this post is just great! and perfectly appropriate.
    I relate to this on two levels…1.I’m a christian as well and 2.I’m a pastor’s child too.

    The content on twitter increases in explicity by the minute.I don’t know how effective it is to tweet anyone out of an attitude you deem ‘inappropriate’,but I’ve been a victim of the effects of tweeting someone into it.

    I find the ease with which debauchery comes out in 140characters distasteful,so I disinfect my TL on the regular. *Unfollowing is easy*


  135. Unique_me says:

    Finally….., today i discover that ‘wanking’ is masturbation. abi? cuz dts what all dse guys have implied. and if y’all dont know, masturbation is sin.



  136. Eye Vee says:

    Nice post.

    Condoms can prevent STD’s pregnancy and all other stuff but CANNOT prevent Demonic transfer.

    Remember that for every girl or guy u pansh, both spirits connects and there is a transfer of whatever He or she has to u. Woe betide u if she/he has some “Evils” in her plus every oda she/he had collected along the way.

    I preach abstinence but if u feel ur grace can’t carry u thru den stick to one partner but God’s grace is always sufficient.

    For those who wank, smoouch and excite dem selves in different ways and cos dere was no penetration u say ur a virgin, if I slap u eh! Shut ur non virgin mouth. God sees all.


  137. Me says:

    Beautiful message,olatoxic…
    I made d same decision at 12,to give #dearfuturehusband a gift of my virginity…unfortunately,5yrs later,at barely 17, I was raped by 2 masked,armed men,and they took that precious possession from me…
    I’m grown up,27 now,n over it (i think), but it wdve been the perfect gift for the guy whom i”m marrying in a few months…
    Kudos to u,terdoh n co…keep d fire burning…


  138. obi_jay says:

    …and yeah..y’all pls do follow my blog…i’m new! lol.


  139. MikiStones says:

    I carried last.( -̩̩̩͡˛ -̩̩̩͡ )
    Brave post mate. Thumbs up.


  140. kitkat says:

    *crawls out of cave* cnt believe i missed this! 😦
    you’re a virgin?.. *bats eyelashes*


  141. Aston says:

    U’z a BORING FAGGIT!!! “Ol Boy” WTF is that? This long boosheet ur writing is as empty as yasef.


  142. @Valnyla says:

    LMFAO…I cn’t bliv I missd dis…darn da hustle!!
    *sigh*…nice post!Crazy comments!!!!


  143. #teampassingby says:

    Where have I been? I have carried strained last. But its okay. I’d like to commend this; you are a virgin and a christian and you are standing for your values.
    I’d like to say that I AM A VIRGIN. I am pretty and smart so it is sometimes hard to believe but doesn’t change facts. I made this sort of vow when I was in the university
    ” I want to be like a fountain
    I want to be like a spring that no one else can drink from
    Till I meet with my husband”
    Virginity is definately dignity. I am proud of this; I do not judge non-virgins. I respect people that deserve to be respected.
    All in all, stand for what you believe in no matter how dim. God help us all. Cheers. X.


  144. coolprincee says:

    Keep da virgin fire burning 🙂

    Nice post

    If you’ve jerked off & haven’t had penetrative heterosexual sex…does that still make one a virgin? #JustAsking


  145. DL says:

    3 words for you bro….
    I DOFF MY FILA…(ok that was 4…sue me)


  146. headbobba says:

    I have carried “ghana must go” of last O. Dis is ill! Damn. Cool blog brov. Nyc 1


  147. Temidayo says:

    of recent i have been contemplating having sex, why i read this post today i dont know. after posting this comment i am going to look for my purity bracelet, six of my friends and i have it. funny i was the one that made it for us, but i took it off, incase i find myself in a compromising situation i wont feel guilt, shame on me. staying a virgin up until now has been by the grace of God and my personal choice, and it would remain that way till i get married. thanks for the reminder. four nights ago i was skyping with this dude i met last month, i kinda like him and the he wanted to talk sex and i told him i was a virgin, since then i have not heard from him not even on bbm, and i intend to keep it this way. you really wont understand what reading this post has done to me but i am grateful that i stumbled across it.

    thank you


  148. ShirleyA says:

    I am new to this post and have read most comments so I shall post mine

    1. To those who posted insults or any form of derogatory comment: two words- GUILT and ENVY!
    Your indiscipline or choice not to abstain from premarital sex makes you feel guilty, so you become irritated at one who has made a choice to, therefore, you are probably envious which makes you angry and in order to try to make yourself “feel better” you live in DENIAL and further post such comments. Don’t worry, there’s still hope and with GOD all things are possible and if you are happy with your choice, GOOD FOR YOU! To each his own!

    2. To those who say girls who engage in every sexual activity without penetration are not virgins. To non-virgins who say this: YOU ARE WRONG! This is also a way of consciously or unconsciously trying to make yourself “feel better” YES THEY ARE! To be disvirgined one has to engage in the TOTAL EXPERIENCE of sexual intercourse which includes penetration and this is the SOLE determinant. However metaphorically speaking, one cannot call herself a virgin if she keeps engaging in other forms of sexual activity, so to the virgins who think the same: everyone makes mistakes and there’s still hope. However, they are still intact!

    3. To those who are resilient in their choice to remain celibate till marriage I say: KUDOS TO YOU!
    It is so easy to follow the crowd, so easy to conform because of peer pressure or lack of strong will, so easy to give into the whims of the flesh! The HEROES remembered today were not CROWD PLEASERS! They fought for what they believed to be morally right and stood their ground amidst insults, ridicule and other forms of persecution! CONFORMISTS ARE EASILY FORGOTTEN! If what you are doing is morally right, why the insult? Why the condemnation? Why do you care? How is it your business?

    So the moral of the story is this: if someone wants to abstain till marriage it is his/her choice, such people should be admired and encouraged because it takes strong will, discipline and character to do so.

    P.S: Any derogatory reply or comment after this post will definitely prove my first point.
    God Bless.


  149. […] Before I go further with my own story for those of you who are carrying major last and don’t understand what am talking about please read this before continuing my story Losing My Virginity by Olatoxic […]


  150. HoneyBronzed says:



  151. Aisha says:

    *strolls in with a LASTma(n) ID and covers face* I love Toxic for this post! Everything on my mind has been said! But still don’t get why people look down at ‘virgins’ tho! And yes to each his own! And Terdoh?? Awesome!! #okbye


  152. […] this. For those to whom this, however, IS news, I ‘announced’ it in a post titled Losing My Virginity sometime last year. I clearly stated then what the reasons for which I was declaring it […]


  153. And really, truly not everyone is doing it. Even in this, generalisation does not apply!


  154. Reblogged this on olorungemstone and commented:
    And really, truly not everyone is doing it. Even in this, generalisation does not apply!


  155. I positively enjoyed this post. Many thanks. I will Keep returning


  156. Olu says:

    I think it’s commendable.

    Especially in the 21st century where every sitcom bomards the psyche with innuendo and characters plotting or jumping in and out of bed. With every other series pushing the limits on sex scenes and every other song titilating the mind, it’s incredibly hard to hold such a conviction.

    Even harder for a writer with an imagination that can take things to all sorts of levels. Not to talk of raging hormones.

    Just cos a person decides to remain a virgin does not mean their hormones are going to agree without a fight.

    For me there are many reasons for virginity

    1)Avoidance of soul ties which happen admit it or not. Sex is more than just physical, spirits become tied, thus why a relationship without sex is easier to walk away from.
    2)Less complications when u finally do marry. Running into ex bedmates etc and feeling resurfacing etc Or in the case where a former bedmate becomes a neighbor,in law or colleague. A virgin does not have to worry about all that.
    3)No comparisons in the future of your spouse with a former bedmate in the form of flashbacks or “you’re not as good”, “you’re not as experimental. Which will create resentment conciously or subconciously. As virgins both spouse have no one to be jealous of, or compare their spouse to.
    4)Can with a clear conscience tell your teens “mom and dad waited” and tell them why they should and it’s benefits.
    5) If you can resist your sexual urges you’re more likely to control other urges.
    6) A virgin that got married at in late adulthood is more likely to stay faithful even when there’s an opportunity to cheat. If they could resist sex when they weren’t attached to anyone. More likely to remain monogamous.

    There are other reasons Biblically that previous commenters have touched upon so I won’t revisit them.

    Sex is great but WITHIN the confines of marriage. No matter what society says, no matter how they try to make fornication look normal,harmless,it is NOT.

    Why do u think they call it the “Walk of shame” when one party leaves the morning after back to their own home after a night of pre marital sex. That’s a secular term not a religious one.

    It’s a true fight to remain a virgin in this world. Everything around you tries to convince you to give in to the cravings, including ur own body and it really is an uphill battle. But like you said, it’s by the grace of God to do so.


  157. Tiki2a says:

    If there’s anything we should be unapologetic and unashamed about, it should be facing up to what we are, and why.

    Enjoy your virginity while it lasts, sir.


  158. TM.Lucia says:

    Over a year later and the message is still as fresh.




  159. Janeen says:

    Excellent article. Keep posting such kind of information on
    your page. Im really impressed by your blog.
    Hi there, You’ve performed a great job. I will definitely digg it and personally recommend to my friends. I am confident they’ll be benefited from this website.


  160. […] decided last night that I was going to do a “Coming out” post like Toxic to clarify a few misconceptions some of you may have of my person. This is the most honest post […]


  161. damstylee says:

    Reblogged this on Damstylee and commented:
    This, Y’all need to read…
    Stay Inspired..


  162. […] Losing my virginity. […]


  163. Yeside Okelana says:

    Excellent write-up!!! It beats my imagination that a guy would come upfront this way!!! Well done!!! And God bless you for keeping Your TRUE FATHER’s Image. Staying celibate is one thing, letting the world know about it, is another! I trust Him to reward you beyond measure. God bless You.

    Liked by 1 person

  164. CuriousShe says:

    You are a correct guy through and through! God bless you for this 🙂


  165. St Naija says:

    Way to go. You are the sort of role model that the youth need today. I am so proud of you. Hope there hasn’t been a change of status. hehe. Well done.


  166. Methinks says:

    You’re a very correct guy Toks. I’d say more, but haven’t got your guts. Or have I? Let’s just say the day some colleagues heard that I was saving it, the feedback was weird. Enjoy celibacy while it lasts though…


  167. naijawife says:

    we’re standing with you. (naijahusband and I )


  168. hehehehe, no need to drop my real name says:

    I am not carrying last because you’ve blogged about your Virginity before, that was when i started following you. Of course we follow each other. #TeamVirginity. Kudos though for revisiting the subject.@ShirleyA has already spoken my mind on the issue, a little message to some sexually active people with hatred for Virgins, you really don’t have to be that way. Examine why you’re really mad though…hehehehe.


  169. vikie says:

    *puts on lastma vest* great post, God bless you and keep you may his grace abound more


  170. oluwadunni says:

    Yes, catchy title. And I can totally relate to the ‘omo pastor’ thing. Beautifully written.


  171. This title definitely caught my eye-in the spirit of being nosy. Wasn’t exactly what I was expecting, but what I thought it would be. And no, I am not surprised that you are a “virgin.” No offense but you are not the only man on earth who has swore his virginity solely to his future partner. Great read by the way.


  172. BlackPearl says:

    So been following your work on TNC but stupidly never checked to see if you had a personal blog! DUH!!! Discovered it today and trying to catch up – i won’t be able to finish all the articles i’m sure! Kudos on this one though! my situation is complicated but every time i almost slip completely, something happens to pull me back… it’s like God is talking through that situation. I believe he is doing that through this article and some of the comments again.
    I hope you are still a virgin. Some of us women appreciate a man who has kept to those values! I’m steadily in awe of your talent – with words and with pictures! God will continue to use your gifts!


  173. idomagirl says:

    Let’s get married abeg. I’m serious.


  174. […] In case you were wonderding, you can find the post on the twitter celebs here and the virginity one here […]


  175. dee.K says:

    Not everyone is doing it…after all, I’m not :). Wow, three years later and I’m just reading this. I’m a proud 25 year old virgin.I have never seen a ‘life’ penis. Anyway, it’s so refreshing reading this from a guy and I’m glad I stumbled on this regardless of whether your status has changed or not *wink*


  176. And my comment will def be lost in the sea of 200+ here so I won’t write something drawn out and long..
    I’ll just say i’m please,mega pleased to see this….mega pleased!


  177. arteculchure says:

    *applause* Finally something I can relate to. Keep on speaking your mind…If you dont, nobody else might


  178. SHE says:

    Well… This has sure been an interesting read. Two questions come to mind though… 1.Do you engage in all sexual acts except penetration ? 2. Is one still qualified to be called a virgin if they have engaged in every sexual act except the meeting of the genitals?


  179. okezi says:

    I totally congratulate you OlaToxic, not just coz you are a virgin, but also coz u re one amongst us proud people unashamed to make it public. Its a good thing. And i would only add that young folks today join the celebration of not just virginity but also PURITY! That’s’the campaign we can push. For me, its #PurityIsTheNewCool! Take it to the ends of the earth. Preserve ur mind and keep it pure and u stay a virgin. Of course its not news that “no be small thing” but if others have done it then we can! Peace


  180. Zhe Jenn says:

    Four years after….Is my comment still relevant?
    *cheering* Go OlaTokuno Aworinde!!! But does being an “omo pastor” influence your decision? (Sorry, I did not read the whole post, I scanned through. May be you mentioned something along those lines #WorkHazard)


    • Temitee says:

      Olaoluwa, not sure why I went through your blog after speaking with you last night, this is 4 years later and I sincerely hope you’re still a virgin.☺. I know about the near misses, and I totally agree it takes Grace in abundance. I might not know you that well but I know without a doubt that you’re a great guy, one who stands out amongst his peers.

      I’m Temi, a virgin at 27 years and contended.


  181. angie says:

    This is only the second post i’m reading; the first was ‘standing before kings ‘ so i was kinda upset that you were sexually active – cause of the title. My mind went ” all these bible quoting christians that remix the Word”.
    I’m so happy for you !
    And you’re a big boy too…praise Jesus!☺.
    It’s cool that you’re not forcing it down anyone’s throat, just reaffirming your faith.
    I plan on becoming a superfan BTW.


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