Whew! That last post!! If there’s was just one thing I appreciated amidst all the attention and what-nots, it’s that (most) people actually got the point(s) I was trying to get across. Didn’t however stop those who didn’t really get it from going and near-trending the discussion on twitter but only served in spreading the word, eh?! Believe it or not, comments are STILL coming in and They’re largely messages of solidarity and for that I say Thank You. Are you perhaps carrying last on what I speak of, please see Losing my virginity
Oh well, moving on. Today’s post is written by @iskminov and is very much in line with what I said about generalisation in my last post. Hope you enjoy.
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As the door of the bus opened, I raised my head to see who was about to walk in. I quickly noticed her pretty face, caramel complexion, about 5ft11″ or so (the wedges she wore added a few inches), spotting a tank top and capri pants. As she moved closer, I saw the tattoo on top of her left breast (lovely breasts, I might add) and as she sat down, her tight fitted top moved up slightly and I saw the beads around her waist. Even though I try as much as I can not to judge people, the first thought that came to my mind was HO!
For most guys, when they see a lady with a chain around her ankle, piercing on her nose,
tattoo(s), beads or chains around her waist, that’s the first thing they think about. And as much as we like freaky women, we don’t want to get married to such a person. It’s a perception that has developed over time and has been passed on from one age group to another. And possibly a poor generalisation (or what do you think?).
There’s a lady on twitter that I like. She has a tattoo, although I didn’t know this when we started going out. We’re not together any more, but I wish we were. I can’t say knowing about the tattoo didn’t slightly alter my perception of her. Who am I kidding? IT DID!
But it doesn’t bother me anymore.
I don’t think I’ve totally changed my perception about these things. The same way I totally abhor seeing hairnets on women outside the house (No matter how hot or intelligent the lady is, I immediately put a big X on her).
I know with time and effort it will change, as long as I keep working on myself. And I hope a lot of guys do too. Because making generalisations about people based on the behaviour of a few in the group isn’t fair.
I feel sad about all the flak this post has received both here and on twitter and so I thought I’d come and just clear the air.
Stanley’s (@iskminov’s) point has been grossly misunderstood and I guess I share some blame for that. When I first read it, I liked it because I got the point all at once and so, besides changing his spelling of ‘Ho’, I left it all as you see it. That was my mistake, my not editting or doing a shoddy job of it and for that, I apologise.
From the more constructive feedback I’ve received, I’ve been able to garner that because of the way the piece was structured, the point generally becomes clear only after a second or third read, which most people, despite the brevity of the post, have no patience for.
And so, to lend clarity to things a bit, in one sentence, all he’s saying is:
I admit I used to be prejudiced and I’ve been guilty of generalisation and I’m now trying to change my perspective on these things… you should too (if you have been).
Most people just ran to town with “He says if any girl has a tattoo, beads or extra piercings, she’s a hoe!”, some after only reading the post half-way, others without even reading it at all. But he negated that statement by calling it a ‘poor generalisation’ and saying later on that…
“I know with time and effort it (his perception) will change, as long as I keep working on myself. And I hope a lot of guys do too. Because making generalisations about people based on the behaviour of a few in the group isn’t fair.”
All in all, this is not in anyway a disclaimer. Based on the clarifications I’ve added, I still stand with Stanley on this.
*Le sigh* I sincerely hope I’ve done justice to this now. If anyone still doesn’t agree with the piece, I’m sorry, I can’t help you any further. To that all I can say once again is…
‘To Each His Own’
Again, apologies for any confusion