The Makings of a Ho’

Whew! That last post!! If there’s was just one thing I appreciated amidst all the attention and what-nots, it’s that (most) people actually got the point(s) I was trying to get across. Didn’t however  stop those who didn’t really get it from going and near-trending  the discussion on twitter but only served in spreading the word, eh?! Believe it or not, comments are STILL coming in and They’re largely messages of solidarity and for that I say Thank You. Are you perhaps carrying last on what I speak of, please see Losing my virginity

Oh well, moving on. Today’s post is written by @iskminov and is very much in line with what I said about generalisation in my last post. Hope you enjoy.

* * * * *

As the door of the bus opened, I raised my head to see who was about to walk in. I quickly noticed her pretty face, caramel complexion, about 5ft11″ or so (the wedges she wore added a few inches), spotting a tank top and capri pants. As she moved closer, I saw the tattoo on top of her left breast (lovely breasts, I might add) and as she sat down, her tight fitted top moved up slightly and I saw the beads around her waist. Even though I try as much as I can not to judge people, the first thought that came to my mind was HO!

For most guys, when they see a lady with a chain around her ankle, piercing on her nose,
tattoo(s), beads or chains around her waist, that’s the first thing they think about. And as much as we like freaky women, we don’t want to get married to such a person. It’s a perception that has developed over time and has been passed on from one age group to another. And possibly a poor generalisation (or what do you think?).

There’s a lady on twitter that I like. She has a tattoo, although I didn’t know this when we started going out. We’re not together any more, but I wish we were. I can’t say knowing about the tattoo didn’t slightly alter my perception of her. Who am I kidding? IT DID!
But it doesn’t bother me anymore.

I don’t think I’ve totally changed my perception about these things. The same way I totally abhor seeing hairnets on women outside the house (No matter how hot or intelligent the lady is, I immediately put a big X on her).

I know with time and effort it will change, as long as I keep working on myself. And I hope a lot of guys do too. Because making generalisations about people based on the behaviour of a few in the group isn’t fair.

PEACE …

_________

*heavy sigh*

I feel sad about all the flak this post has received both here and on twitter and so I thought I’d come and just clear the air.

Stanley’s (@iskminov’s) point has been grossly misunderstood and I guess I share some blame for that. When I first read it, I liked it because I got the point all at once and so, besides changing his spelling of ‘Ho’, I left it all as you see it. That was my mistake, my not editting or doing a shoddy job of it and for that, I apologise.

From the more constructive feedback I’ve received, I’ve been able to garner that because of the way the piece was structured, the point generally becomes clear only after a second or third read, which most people, despite the brevity of the post, have no patience for.

And so, to lend clarity to things a bit, in one sentence, all he’s saying is:

I admit I used to be prejudiced and I’ve been guilty of generalisation and I’m now trying to change my perspective on these things… you should too (if you have been).

Most people just ran to town with “He says if any girl has a tattoo, beads or extra piercings, she’s a hoe!”, some after only reading the post half-way, others without even reading it at all. But he negated that statement by calling it a ‘poor generalisation’ and saying later on that…

“I know with time and effort it (his perception) will change, as long as I keep working on myself. And I hope a lot of guys do too. Because making generalisations about people based on the behaviour of a few in the group isn’t fair.”

All in all, this is not in anyway a disclaimer. Based on the clarifications I’ve added, I still stand with Stanley on this.

*Le sigh* I sincerely hope I’ve done justice to this now. If anyone still doesn’t agree with the piece, I’m sorry, I can’t help you any further. To that all I can say once again is…

‘To Each His Own’

Again, apologies for any confusion

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94 comments on “The Makings of a Ho’

  1. demisilverlining says:

    U have gt to be kidding right? Seriously? Tattoo, waist beads = ho? I refrain frm passing judgement. I shall not sin!

    Like

  2. Honey_wealth says:

    Well, the ills of making general assumptions cannot be overstated. That being said I am NOT a ho (I won’t say which of these relate to me, if any sef *smiles*)

    Like

  3. Jasmine says:

    Err…ok! Cool story…

    Like

  4. aot2 says:

    My grandmother and grand-aunts all have tattoos & they are not whores. Where did we get all this crap from? I have no tattoos as long as you don’t end up like Lil Wayne. Waist beads? I’m cool with that and as a matter of fact when I get married I’ma buy my wife a whole set of waist beads. Corruption is in the soul not in waist beads and tattoos.

    Like

  5. Top 10???

    Yaaaay!!!

    Now going to read the post

    Like

  6. raihanah says:

    Ankle chain alone?? That be deadly stuff…

    I agree very much on the Hairnet… Even outta bed its not soo HOT! Fat X

    Like

  7. jayajade says:

    The people beefing ‘WordPress bloggers’ should read this…. 🙂

    Like

  8. Tattoos alter your perception of someone??? Really??? Really???

    *Deep Sigh*

    Like

  9. ibetapassmynebo says:

    And d moral of this post is. . .???????????

    Like

  10. dhamyhan says:

    Bet u can’t deny there’s something strangely sexy about a small nicely done tattoo carefully hidden as not to catch too much attention.

    Like

  11. uche says:

    Girls with tatoos =hoes? really
    You will drown in your own ignorance
    Goodnight 🙂

    Like

  12. bibi says:

    The person that wrote this post is a catfish. Everybody wants to blog about something. Yeye

    Like

  13. purplerain says:

    What is this?

    Like

  14. shadeyB says:

    this is unbelievable

    Like

  15. iskminov says:

    Wish I could respond to a lot of the comments, but instead, this is a quote by Salman Rushdie, “What is Freedom of Expression? Without the Freedom to offend, it ceases to exist.”

    Like

  16. Georgeenah says:

    *deep sigh* You know you’ll get bitten for this right?

    I get where you’re coming from and yeah,it was the way a lot of nigerians thought but,that was in the 80s and 90s when there was a lot of conservation going round.
    But, yeah people still generalize(take a look at some of the very stupid TTs that show up on twitter and the tweets that follow)

    Like

  17. ColorMeCake says:

    And this my friends is wordpress for you. (N)

    Like

  18. Ekwe says:

    erm…i dont believe i actually waited for this webpage to load.

    Like

  19. sexilicious says:

    Ha,o ma ga o!does this mean i have to cancel my tatoo appointment on friday?somebody sld not be thking me am a cutlass or..sorry hoe o

    Like

  20. @FoluShaw says:

    Ure a prejudiced ignorant little FUCKER!

    If u knew better…u’ll do better.

    Nuff Said.

    F.

    Like

  21. mj says:

    Msheeeeeeeew!

    Like

  22. DarkFantasy says:

    o ma ga ooo..everybody’s grandma mustu blog even if its about chewing gum wrapper…mtchewwwwwwwwwwwww

    Ignorance @ its best

    Like

  23. @FoluShaw says:

    And yea…keep working on urself.

    U’ll do better.

    “Don’t lose a priceless woman ’cause of silly trivialities.”

    All this my friend are ‘trivialities’

    Get better.

    F.

    Like

  24. zoey says:

    This is just plain hilarious, the comments, I mean….. Not sure I wanna go through the torture of reading the post!! Goodnight…. *goes off to read post*

    Like

  25. thatifygirl says:

    Sing a new song, chiquitita!
    OK, I have tried to be objective about this… So… ummm…. yeah, thinkin ho’ is a bit too prejudiced in my opinion…
    Who am I kiddin?!?!? This is worse than racial bias. I’m sad, cos by these classifications, I’m a ho. An advanced one.
    Well, I hope you are trying very hard to better yourself. Shit like this gets niggas killed.

    Like

  26. thatifygirl says:

    But then again, we all have our petty biases, I’m not judging, but work very hard at making yourself better.

    Like

  27. OyeTola -_- says:

    This is clearly the work of a bored individual you obviously have nothing better to think about/ occupy your time with. I’m sure if you had school-fees to pay or mouths to feed you wouldn’t be so jobless to blog about something as pointless and irrelevant as this.

    Like

  28. zoey says:

    I wasn’t gonna comment, but buahhahahhahahahahhahaha…
    Nigga please…..

    Like

  29. osinubi says:

    Golly,did these people read the post at all? Or is English really that hard to understand?

    Read the last paragraph. Please.

    I reckon it gives you lot pleasure in thinking you are “progressive” , “tolerant”, “avant-garde” & everyone else is ignorant.

    All well & good. I’m sure there’s a prize attached.

    Just read the post.

    Like

  30. I have to say, as far as generalization goes, i don’t get this. It doesn’t connect for me. In as much as this post was brief, it still failed to be concise. A girl with a tattoo these days or waist beads or ankle chain won’t qualify as a hoe for me, but that’s just me.
    Toxic abeg re-evaluate this post.

    Like

  31. Mr McBloodnofsky says:

    diz blog is a failure please..i mean hw does it help reduce d hoes nw -___-

    Like

  32. Actually I get the post now… we basically are saying the same thing…the arrangement just seems disjointed. And I agree with what’s been said. I’m just an echo right now. lol.. but the post still needs to be re- evaluated even if its to put it out properly. Lots of people aren’t getting the message. I almost missed it.

    Like

  33. keetkat says:

    nah man.. i disagree! How does spotting waist beads or tats make someone a ho? that’s judgemental 😦

    Like

  34. Nini_Y says:

    Nigguh!!..Puh-leazze!..STFU if u hv nth sensible 2 blog abt nd quit making all dese unsupported generalizations..It jst shows d depth of ur ignorance!!..Fooo!!.. LmFAO!..:))..:P..

    Like

  35. Thegothprince says:

    And these people will open their mouth to insult bloggers. Did you not see where he said it’s not fair to generalize? Please go and sit abeg.

    Like

  36. Kim says:

    I hope the @iskminov guy can see these comments -____- cz he wrote this

    Like

  37. Aston says:

    Omo this write up dead ooh! So what if she has a tatoo nd waist beads! U’z a jobless bintch! Writing bout tatoo’s nd shit! Get a life nd a freaking job MORON ur mates are talking about Oil blocks ur here talking bout ileke! GPU thre!

    Like

  38. WORDPRESS says:

    DELETE THIS FUCKIN POST FROM OUR SERVER

    Like

  39. bambysTales says:

    Hmmm! Truth be told, this was uncalled for 😦

    Like

  40. christian girl says:

    Hello,

    4 me l dnt fink d guy dat wrote dis post was rily tryn 2 judge anyone but his delivery was very poor.

    I think u sld make this clear 2 ur readers cos ppl r rily hating on u rite nw on twitter

    Olatoxic,if u claim 2 b a christian,u sldnt vn allow such on ur blog,makes u seem vry judgemental and d bible clearly states dat we sldnt judge.

    Bye

    Like

  41. girl with sense says:

    Errmany girl with a nosering and wasitbeads is a hoe! X

    Like

  42. The Girl says:

    Better, Better Nonsense! Rest Abeg.

    Like

  43. undacover_lover says:

    Guy what is wrong with you? Don’t be wasting our bandwith with shi likke this!*rme*

    Like

  44. Moh says:

    Retarded dumbass

    Like

  45. @ollaollu says:

    Hmmm. Cool True story!
    You α̲̅яε̲̣̣̣ trending now 😀 *standing ovation*

    Like

  46. girl with sense says:

    People look classier without the rings and beads though. Who would have allowed Kate become duchess if she still wore nose rings etc? (She was wild in her youth years) but she dropped all that
    Heck even kimk knows not to wear crap like that
    X

    Like

  47. mcfunny says:

    Cool story bruv ( ⌣ ́_ ⌣ ̀) . NEXT!!!!

    Like

  48. leonmacedon says:

    O_O. Soon they wil be selling Gala & la Casera in here… BTW I totally with yu on d ‘generalization’ subject

    Like

  49. weird_oo says:

    Just to play the Devil’s Advocate, I’d agree with the writer of the post. *disapparates*

    Like

  50. jess says:

    Its people like you that make unbelievers in Christ lose interest all together! You don’t know what lies in the heart so you have no right to judge anybody! God knows that’s why He’s the ultimate judge…your heart could be black for all we know!
    FYI Jesus didn’t come for the holier than thous like you, He came for us sinners.
    Most (infact majority) guys don’t form generalizations like that so speak for yourself and yes you do need to work on yourself we all do but you don’t see us blogging our inperfect perceptions in a matter of fact way now do you?
    P.S we r just giving him what he wants, attention…no need to fuel his already bloated ego now is there?

    Like

  51. chisom says:

    I don’t get the anger and rude comments….thought the writer was just stating his opinion. No need to lie or act all cool……we all generalise. We all have that ‘something something’ that when we see on our fellow humans we write them off…..be it tattoos,anklets,piercings,chain beads,haircuts,hairstyle etc. You want to say you don’t care about such things? Neither do I but look deep down n ul see that a small part of you actually acknowledges shit like that.

    Like

  52. unconcerned citizen says:

    But u guys know you’re all silly right? Its just his opinion; he is entitled to it, he has agreed its not a fair one and is trying to change. So why the hurling of abuse? Ignorance,ladies and gentlemen, isn’t bliss anymore!
    “I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it”-Voltaire
    Thank you.

    Like

  53. @Valnyla says:

    Stereotype tinz…*yawn*…it’s sad bt true!
    Evn in d 21st cen *smh*
    Too bad for guyz who stil tink dt way…luv my body accessories 😉
    #ToEachHisOwn

    Like

  54. joy says:

    wow…really? and when you see guys with tattoos or neck chains, what comes to mind?…ankle chain and nose piercings too…? its this mentality that kills us in Nigeria. Tattoos are African, very African. waist beads, nose piercings too…personally i think u r just looking for comments. no go marry person without any of the ‘ho’ features who’ll end up screwing all ur friends.

    Like

  55. na wa o says:

    WHAT A FAILURE.! SOME COMMENTS ARE EVEN LONGER THAN THE POST. ***TUEH***

    Like

  56. buhahahhahahahaahah I agree with ‘WORDPRESS’… As for the post I might understand the tattoo stereotype but waist beads? Na wa. To blog is not by force. This post is pointless. And if you really left your girlfriend cos she had a tattoo you’re a fool. Cheers 😀
    p,s Olatoxic I’m disappointed you allowed this here. (N)

    Like

  57. raNdoM says:

    What happened to freedom of speech and thoughts??? Y’all should free him jor. He stated his opinions and if u don’t like anything he said, well that makes it YOUR opinion.

    Like

  58. Sommyb says:

    I know with time and effort it will change, as long as I keep working on myself. And I hope a lot of guys do too. Because making generalisations about people based on the behaviour of a few in the group isn’t fair..

    His own thoughts,

    Like

  59. pissed reader says:

    there shd be gatekeepers for this blogging thing.i like that people r writing more etc but please less crap whether its your opinion or not. save this crap for ur beer parlour discussions with friends abeg. let us gain something from blogs or at least lets be entertained. comment seeker choke on the comments

    Like

  60. dora says:

    Some pple apparently don’t know how to read plain english. Fine, the writer is not an excellent one but that doesn’t give anyone the right to read negative/distorted meanings into the post. Take time to READ what was actually written. Like from top to bottom, huh? Someone rightly said “a little learning is a dangerous thing”.

    Like

  61. chisom says:

    Nobody should just bring Christianity into this atall!!! Even the bible said we shldnt inscribe on our bodies. We shouldn’t judge cos we are christians? Aren’t you human beings also? Do you sit down and talk about how lazy our president is? Do you know what happens inside aso rock yet you speak. WE ALL FUCKING JUDGE cos we can’t help being imperfect humans!!!

    Like

    • olly says:

      Chick u better tell me ur ear is not pierced!cuz if it is u’re 1 of those “christians” I can’t stand!who pick out what they want from the bible and leave out the rest cuz d same bible dat says not to inscribe urself says u shouldn’t have piercings also and a pierced ear is still a piercing!

      besides these were more of d laws of d jews not the laws of God(I ddnt see nothin bout piercings in d 10 commandments he sent thru moses) in d old testament.same way then in d same bible a woman is not supposed to go out during her period(do u stay indoors while ure menstruating) and the rule was an eye for an eye..so PLEASE!if ur gonna bring christianity into it don’t go selecting what works 4u and ignoring d rest!

      Like

      • phantompages says:

        You’re wrong Olly.
        1. I’m a Messianic Jew.
        2.The laws of God goes beyond the ten commandments. Please get your facts right. There are 613 of them. And they all begin with “And the Lord said unto Moses…)
        3.The law does not say a woman should not go out on her period (again, wrong facts.) It says a woman shouldn’t enter the Sanctuary (church) on her period.
        4. Leviticus 19:28 which says, “Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print or tattoo any marks upon you: I am the Lord.” Tattoos my friend not piercings…

        I don’t like leaving a comment this long on a post but this had to be done for clarification.

        Like

  62. dbrizio says:

    So much fuss over nothing. I don’t support the writer or his opinions but d way some of u attack the guy, wld make one think he hit a raw nerve.

    Like

  63. Lucrezia @Mizz_starzz says:

    I am a proud wearer of waistbeads, my mum doesn’t agree but my grandma does cos she was a dancer in her prime. Anyway that’s by the way side, as a literary critic this post is lack-lustre. Nothing here points likens it to any of the 3 genres of literature I know so while you’re avoiding hoes its back to the drawing board (keyboard, keypad) for you.

    Like

  64. @Segun__ says:

    *screaming*
    who wants to buy gala… Galaaa.. La casera..

    Like

  65. pwetty girl says:

    Lmfao una D̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥ vex o….I kinda agree wit d blogger..‎​₪ø responsible girl will draw a tatoo on her skin and besyds, d bible is against it..y Wear a waist bead tho? Most of y’all r mad at d post cos u’re guilty….d truth is alomo

    Like

  66. 2ndelawal says:

    The only sense this post makes is None.

    Like

  67. Trouble says:

    y’all just exposed how ignorant and daft you really are,bringing your Stupid twitter “herd behavior” here.DON’T YOU READ?”And possibly a poor generalisation (or what do you think?)”…..”because making generalisations about people based on the behavior of a few in the group isn’t fair”.that still hasn’t done it for you?EVEN IF he was biased towards ladies with tats and waist beads,is it not his opinion?is he less entitled to it because some fucktards think its cool to jump on here and bash him over a topic they may not necessarily have an opinion about?really?
    That said,Mr Writer,I do not FULLY agree with you.

    Like

  68. keLvin says:

    *walking by with knives,ink and beads* anyone interested?

    Like

    • obi_jay says:

      yea…i get what he’s trying to say buh people are getting him all wrong. Maybe it cos of his mode of expression. 😐 At least the last paragraph says it all.

      “I know with time and effort it will change, as long as I keep working on myself. And I hope a lot of guys do too. Because making generalisations about people based on the behaviour of a few in the group isn’t fair.”

      so what’s the controversy all about??

      Like

  69. sab says:

    Most ppl don’t even get the message of the blog and as usual this is clear “heard mentality” one person goes off in one direction and every one follows.
    We all generalize we try to profile ppl based on what we see till we get to knw them. I for one don’t think respectable gurls shld wear low cut jeans that shows butt crack (its just disgusting)
    Overall the message of the post is that he is learning not to generalize (ppl r more than tattos, piercings and waist beads) which I totally agree with
    But let’s not kid ourselves we all generalize

    Like

  70. coolprincee says:

    Enough asperisions to his name already…

    I tot blogville was a more friendly place….i’ll be damned 😐

    well stereotypes are true 90% of d times…however much pple hate them,

    its mostly ladies attacking olatoxic
    it’s just his opinion he said..besides he didn’t really generalise

    Like

  71. mekuto says:

    I had to re-read the post to get why people are hating. If anything, I think the writer was condemning himself for allowing generalization blind him.

    Like

  72. go and die says:

    I guess virgins can’t filter the shit that appears on their blogs. All for the brouhaha. Sheep!

    Like

  73. Sparklybb says:

    *Walks in*
    Ohhhh, sorry…I missed ma way.
    *walks out again*

    Like

  74. demisilverlining says:

    Now I get the point. The structure is just off… But yeah, generalisation is the bane of our ‘society’

    Like

  75. Adaora says:

    too much anger in the comment section!! everybody go sip some cool zobo! the dude is allowed to express himself jor. if you read the post well,you will see that he is trying to change his thoughts.and be honest to yourself everyone, there are some things you see on people that make you jump to conclusions about them so just free the guy!!

    Like

  76. Mz_Shadee says:

    Wait why r pple getting angry and leaving salty comments? These things happen and i have been a ‘victim’ on countless occasions! I have tattoos and I cant count how many people have told me i’m too vain’ or i’m too ‘loud’ :s

    By the way, he said he was working on it, he knows its wrong and is doing somfin abourrit. Why una dey vex?

    Like

  77. wow y r ppl so angry tho..yes the post was a tad bit shallow…actually scrap that, it ws quite shallow, but im guessn he’s jst sayn we shudnt instantly judge sum1 by how they look at 1st sight??or sumn???

    Like

  78. Eye Vee says:

    R u sure u guys read d post? He said he is guilty of generalisations and hopes to change. He didn’t say he broke up wit his babe cos of d tattoos.

    The writer talked like a typical Nigerian man. We will rant and talk about hw we like tattoos but 95% men (women too) in Naija will always see a tattooed woman as wayward. Its is part of how dey reason. If u doubt me do a poll and see.

    I have no tattoo bt have waist beads which my husband insists he loves. I went for injectns one day and was berated by d nurse 4 wearing d beads, I took my complaints to d Dr and got a less insulting but similar response. Its a big private hospital! My only response was Dat If others see me as a ho…no wahala, I am a ho for one man!

    Like

  79. cupcakemouse says:

    Erm, not taking anyones side here but I think d writer of the post ws very clear on his message..or “STORY” …he said he used to judge..he called babes with tatoos , piercings and beads ho’s ..bt then again, he had a rethink and realised it was wrong to do such… So all ye pple still insulting d nigga for his “COO story” yes , COO story, pls stop..if ur blind den pour acid on ur face..mayb dat wud wash away ur blindness…:) ┐(‘⌣’┐) ┌(˘.˘)ʃ …I’m not a VOLTRON… ThankU

    Like

  80. pheary says:

    *Yawns*

    Like

  81. Mowmow says:

    Ok I don’t think ANYONE truly agrees with this post..that just shows that its not like people are tryna hate buh the post SUCKS! I don’t like visible tattoos and waistbeads(TACKY!) either buh your method of expression isn’t werkin at all!! (N)

    Like

  82. Uche says:

    I can’t believe people misunderstood (or misread?) this piece and thought he was saying that women with tattoos, extra piercings, etc were whores. Even before that second bit (which I believe was added later) I understood that he was talking about how he used to be extremely prejudiced, but is trying to change and believes he’s improving. And I got this from the first reading. So I ask, did he not make his point clearly enough, or are people mostly impatient when they read?

    That said, I have carried correct last here.

    Like

  83. terdoh says:

    FIRST!!!! *goes back up to read post with Lot’s wife*

    Like

  84. Chychy says:

    Iyooooooooooo my last carrying no get part 2 ( -̩̩̩͡˛ -̩̩̩͡) *wears last carrying helmet shamefully* .

    Admittedly, I had to read this piece twice before it could sink cos it was sort of disjointed, but the message is very clear. There’s something I always tell God, “pls gimme the grace & strength not to judge people if it has nothing to do with a legal matter”. That being said, I think the writer made it clear that he’s willing to try not to generalize people & let’s be honest, we have all done that at some point. I’m a huge fan of tattoos, but I believe it should be hidden & should only be seen when you get intimate with someone. Waist beads, no (I tend to judge the wearers; I’m learning not to), ankle chains, I used to wear until I realized that based on the way people judged me, I had doors closed on my face (talk about bigotry at its best). While I’m not trying to conform to what other people want me to be, it wouldn’t hurt to bend my back a little, if it will get me the things I want & if it involves losing waist beads, ankle chains & tattoos, why not? But then as Tox says ‘to each his own’.

    Long comment innit? As you were 😐

    Like

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