Finale Part III: Tokunbo

I was given the pleasure of sharing a review of my 2012 over on 19th street. Thought I’d share it with my dear Nostalgians too… 🙂

Much awaits us in 2013, especially on here. Details tomorrow. 😀

19th Street

January 6th. He didn’t have to type the letter. All he really had to do was edit the one he’d made use of previously. It felt amazing stepping into the office on the first working day of the year just to edit and submit this letter. The first time he’d had to do this, it had been easy, straight forward. The organization was dying and no one seemed to care. Here, it was the same, and yet, not. The organization was dying, but these people cared. They’d flailed and struggled through the decay, but it was all effort in futility. They recognized this, yet they tried… until they couldn’t anymore. An opportunity came knocking, he dismissed it, not recognizing it for what it was. They say lightning don’t strike the same place twice… well, it did. The opportunity came again, miraculously and this time, he accepted. On January 6th…

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Phantom Wanderer

Today, I have a friend guesting. Please, enjoy Nero’s poem…

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Long, shapely legs so smooth
Stumbling blindly through a dim, scowling maze
The gentle curves of her bejewelled hips
See how they sway to every man’s rhythm
Parched, joyless soul, ever wandering
An angel seeking solace in Lucifer’s crimson arms
Mesmerized by his wicked ways, for reasons the gods delay to reveal
She is alive, yet too afraid to truly live, a mere phantom
Four drunken warrior-kings emerge from their own ashes:
Insecurity.
Dissatisfaction.
Sadness.
Confusion.
Desperately, she attempts to appease them with more liquor and a glowing melody
Now night rests, bringing with it the all too familiar scent of sorrow
So she strums a sobbing tune on an old, worn guitar
Because sad songs offer her self-pity, that bitter-sweet nectar.
Breathe, Child.
Your journey is but a day old
Yet, relentlessly, you fight an elder’s battle
Weep, fair maiden, for your fear is like untamed winds
Propelling you to wage war with the veryhearts that love you
Tightly, your fingers bloodied, grasp your blunted sword
While you drift wearily across lonely seas
Fearing that perhaps loneliness will accompany you to death’s silent shore
Pray, tell me fair lady, are you Hephaestus incarnate?
That son of Olympus, who was a powerful god and yet a cripple?
Crippling fear and great courage- strange bedfellows residing in your heavy heart
Making you so fragile and so strong all at once
Who did this to you, golden girl?
Your insecurity so greatly taints your beautiful, shimmering soul
Now you’re trapped in a struggle to compensate for what you lack in beauty
As if the small breasts God gave you are a mistake that must be corrected.
Again, I ask, who did this to you?
Tonight, the phantom wanders yet again, in the dungeon that is its mind
Forlorn, it seeks a hidden path that stretches far into the open road
Searching for a light bright enough to lead her to the land of the wild and free
A land where her whispers will become happy screams
A land where her words will not be few
But all she finds is stinging darkness
So, with trembling resolve, she sets knife to wrist,
But her burning calls for help are quenched by Death’s ice-cold fingers.

– @iluvpinkblush

Totally Random

Hello Nostalgians ^_^

I’m ashamed. It’s been long. Too long.

I came that close to posting once. And ended up losing my draft. First time ever that’s happening to me. *sigh*. The last thing I wrote and completed was the longest single piece I’ve ever written… and it took me about 3 months to write. I almost thought I’d lost it before I finished that piece. Sadly, y’all don’t get to read it for a long while. T’was sort of a commissioned job.

Anyways, it appears I’m back, abi? To be honest, I really don’t know. So much on my mind right now. This is more catharsis than anything. No aim, no strategy, just me writing something… anything, as it comes to mind. No double-backing, (almost) no editing. You see, one of the issues I have with my writing is that I’m constantly doubling back to rehash something or rephrase it or expatiate or scratch it out or… You sha get my drift, yeah? I don’t know how to just bang out a draft raw at one sitting and then do a nice, thorough edit at another. What happens as a result is I keep going back over and over and over, nitpicking and tinz until I end up taking too long working on one post. Now that’s not why I haven’t posted in a bit, I just felt like saying that. Thing now is, I don’t really feel like saying that anymore, but it’s already been said and I did say I wasn’t going to double back, right? So I won’t. I also don’t like that I’ve been ‘saying’ say, when my lips have been shut tightly together all this time. It’s kind of obvious I’ve been typing and not ‘saying’ anything all this time but we can just chuck that up to my choice to not double back on this post. I also don’t like stating the obvious but just check out the previous sentence. Urgh!

I don’t jot ideas down. I never have and I hope I someday learn to. Leaves me terribly erratic, unable to focus and lacking in a sense of prioritizing. I don’t even know if that last one really made sense but… moving on. I try to list stuff when I can to help in prioritizing sha. But that’s more of when I have a backlog of things to do due to not doing what I should have at the right time in the first place because I hadn’t created a list in that first instance before stuff piled up, creating a back-log. I’m presently wallowing in such a backlog and ignoring this list I have with many, many deadlines because, Mr. Epic-Erraticus that I am, this feels like top-priority even though somewhere in my deepest mind, I know it isn’t. But in reality, it sort of is. This is catharsis. It’s therapy. I’m expunging some of the toxicity in the system and I’ll win back some much needed self-esteem when I actually hit publish

Whoosh! 500 words!!

This feels awesome!

I’m a tad upset with blogsville as a whole right now. I follow A WHOLE LOT of blogs. A vast majority of which are wordpress blogs. WordPress is awesome! Especially compared to Blogger/Blogspot (tueh!). I had a run in with a bunch of blogger users (see how I have to even clarify what ‘blogger’ refers to there. So confusing. *rme*) over on blogger… The platform, this time (*sigh* again with the clarifications. Mscheeew). Anyway sha, it was fun. See me parrying a multitude of thrusts at me, hacking down bloggers all Samson-like, leaving a multitude of dead bloggers in my wake (not bothering with any clarifications here. Bite me.) Like I said, it was fun… Until one Delilah of a dude came and sorta ruined it for me. I took this guy on o, but the dude has time! DAMN! It was when I saw the guy’s last reply at me and I realized that I had already typed multiple posts worth of comments on that blog that I decided to free the matter and not waste any more of my extremely precious time on him/them, especially considering the back log of thing I had/have to do. Imagine, they think blogger better than wordpress. HA! I scoff.

Anyway, see the drama here. Feel free to leave a stinker or two 😉 *evil grin*

Oh, another reason why I’m upset with bloggers. My fellow awesome wordpressers… (I had to keep calling us that on that blogger post. Tueh) have been on a posting spree since the first of December. Two of them are doing 30 day posts, one of these two sometimes twice in a day, and a third is going at it for 40 days. Now, what’s my problem with this lot? Two things.

First, the guilt trip. Blogsville went though this dry spell in october and november which left me feeling not-as-inadequate where I should have been feeling very. Now, I feel as grossly inadequate as I should that there’s all these stuff swimming in my head that haven’t been let out.

Second, way too much to read. I read about 98.5% of everything that turns up on my reader feed. No matter how long it takes to get round to it, once my interest is piqued, I must eventually read it, most times immediately it’s posted. What that means is I get distracted from whatever I’m doing everytime a post comes in. Don’t forget, I have a backlog. The other implication is, when I have enough will power to not read immediately, a back log of posts I have to come round to reading begins to build up. Multiple back-logs yo! Waaaaaaaahhh!!! 😥

Oh well, whatevs. I do it for the love. Winning! \\(˘⌣˘)//

Last thing before I’m done with my spontaneous emission of awesomeness… It was my birthday on saturday. Ok, I’ve absolutely nothing else to say/type on that. There was no epiphany, no solemn moment, no elation, no terrible depression (especially seeing as I should have been hurting deeply that I wasn’t able to be at the experience), no nostalgia (omo, boys don dey old gan o)… Nothing. Just felt like just another birthday. I dunno why. Maybe because Suliat couldn’t be physically there with me, I dunno.

*sigh*

Oh well, this was epic, wasn’t it? See ya larer, Nostalgians. Hopefully, soon.

Hopefully…

Oh look, I finally get to hit ‘publish’. Cheer a brother on nah… ^_^