I had forgotten how to cry. And yet the tears spilt from my eyes, flowed freely even though there was company here. Death is no stranger to me. I have loved and I’ve lost many times over and yet, I do not cry. But I cried when I heard you were gone. I cried, Dolu.

I cried for all the times I should have been in touch and I seemed too busy. I cried because I remembered you just this past week and didn’t call or ping or DM. I cried because, as the testimony all around is, you checked on your friends over and over again and yet, you were easily taken for granted. I cried because you said you were now fine when you apparently were not. I cried because I realize now that what this meant was that you just still cared about us more than the pain you didn’t want to burden us with. I cried because I realize how much of a selfish person I am. That I am only just coming round to writing this is proof.

I cried for you, Dolu.

I already miss you. I can’t even remember the last time I got to see you. I remember December 30th, when we took the only pictures I have of us together. And even now, it’s rather fuzzy whether or not I saw you after that. That’s how bad a friend I have been. I heard and I dug up my old blackberry to read through our last chat (I never end our convos), only to find and remember that I had accidentally ended our chat mid-convo that day two months ago and so only had the last words we wrote each other. That hurt bad. Real bad. Two whole months without speaking to you and all I have to reminisce on are a few sentences and a photograph.

But that isn’t all, is it? I remember your faith. I remember your smile and how despite everything you were going through you never let your smile wane. I remember how much you kept asking how I was doing even when you were the one in pain. I remember that the last convo we had was how you would help me look out for info about getting a new apartment. I remember you dancing crazy at D3ola’s house last year. I remember meeting you for the first time at TNC1 and that the last time I clearly remember seeing you was TNC5. I remember wondering why you seemed upset with me the last time we chatted. I remember you insisting I hadn’t done any wrong and that you were fine. I remember telling you I loved you.

For you, I asked why. You’re the only one for whom I’ve ever asked why and I pray I never come to such a dark place again, where I ask the one who owns all life why He would take what he freely gave us and what we all must undoubtedly relinquish back some day. But I asked why and I’d still like to know clearly why you had to go and amidst so much pain too.

At least, now I know you are at peace. And there’s no more pain. I’m writing this and surprisingly there are no more tears. I’m just glad you’re free now. It hurts that you’re gone and that I didn’t get to say goodbye and I wasn’t there for you leading up to your journey home… but I’m glad your smile now is undoubtedly genuine, through and through. It’s a struggle but I’m smiling with you, Dolu.

Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for being the extra amazing and inspiring person that you are. I celebrate you.

I love you, Dolu and I miss you. Rest well.


Modurodoluwa Ige. An angel.

12 comments on “Modurodoluwa

  1. kovieparker says:

    Dolu of destiny!! I’m glad you’re free of all the pain. I’m really not sure I know anyone who had a more beautiful soul than you. I count myself fortunate that I knew you, we may not have been very close but it’s a blessing that I can call you friend. No more tears, you won this one.


  2. hahishaa says:

    God rest her soul and comfort her family and friends.


  3. Afoma says:

    From everything I’ve heard about her, she sounds like such an amazing person. I pray God gives all her loved ones the strength to go on and be happy again.


  4. Ayodeji Lancaster says:

    And again, I’m being pushed to believe there’s no God or Supreme Being anywhere, it’s just a figment of some white men’s imagination.

    I never got to know Dolu Ige until her recent transformation to an immortal being but the fact that she is Victoria Idioh’s friend makes me believe that she was a good person, brilliant and special (all of Vicky’s friends are).

    I was sad, I am still sad to see such beautiful soul, such great body, such nice personality go down 6feet below. She was an angel, our angel and we will forever miss her.

    If truly there’s a place called heaven, may her soul rest there in the most perfect peace.

    And if it’s true that there’s an afterlife, we shall meet again.

    Good night Dolu Ige…


  5. Debbie says:

    Dolu,its still hard to believe u re gone. u were the first friend i met when i entered Redeemers University. You showed me round school. every1 thot we were sisters cos dey said we looked alike. I stare @ur picture n i fil bad i wasnt der 4 u till the end. I ll neva 4get u cos u re n angel in human form. I wish i hd d opportunity to tell u I LOVE U b4 death snatched u away. I know u re in the best place where ders no pain and suffering. I ll always remember u. I miss u so much. SUN RE O.


  6. Aarinolaoluwa says:

    Rest in Peace Modurodoluwa (I love her name). Thank God she is free from all the pain…. (I envy her for that). She must have been an Amazing person… Sometimes i wonder why God takes the amazing people *Sigh* But who are we to question Him… He Knows Best!!! May God Comfort everyone she left behind… AMEN!


  7. SB says:

    Just Beautiful. Rest in Peace


  8. […] my guys Tokunbo (@0toxic) and Wole (@AlchemistXIII) dld a great job with their tributes. Read them here and […]


  9. inktippeddreamer says:

    This is really beautiful. I’m sorry for your loss.


  10. st9ja says:

    wow. So sweet. So sad. Great tribute.


  11. seunodukoya says:

    I didn’t know the woman – but I have lost people too.

    I feel your pain. I believe in the hereafter – so I believe you will enjoy the pleasure of her presence again.

    Well done.


  12. Beautifully written. My condolences.


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