This Is Not A Rant

I’m upset. Can you tell? No?

Okay, I’m upset.

I should probably tell you why, right? Hmmm…

I’ll tell you. Purely out of the benevolence of my heart. I mean, yore dying to know and everything so I choose to now be kind and just spill like I know you want me to. Badly. ( ._.)

I’m in a rut. Again. (This endless battle with this bloody recurring rut sef). With writing and, more importantly, with drawing too. And this combo is horrible because writing and visual artistry are the backbone of my beloved Art Stories. [If you’ve somehow achieved the near-impossible feat of burying your head so deep in the sand that you have no idea what Art Stories is, click here] See ehn, the possibility of this very eventuality is the very excuse I had for not wanting to launch Art Stories when I was supposed to; same reason I even almost didn’t accept when I was first offered the opportunity to run my own column on TNC by @thetoolsman… But that was until I realised this what it truly was- an excuse. Yeah, I can be a legendary procrastinator. Sure, my schedule can be extremely unpredictable- free now, tomorrow, extremely constricted. Sure, I’ll fall into a rut, heck, even a trench every now and then and inspiration might be nowhere to be found to help haul my ass out of the pit… But these are not acceptable excuses for me to not achieve the things I could, and definitely should.

So, I accepted.

And now here I am, stuck. Again!

An Art Story is supposed to go up every tuesday at 4pm. I’m not sure any has ever gone up at 4pm. Well, maybe one or two sha. I’m usually still tweaking or editing or reworking or adding something. In some horrible cases, I’m just beginning to write or draw or design at 4pm *smh*. I sha try to post before 6pm and this usually works out. Usually. Meaning most of the time, not all of the time. Yes, I’m terribly ashamed to admit that every now and again, I completely miss out on posting. Terribly inefficient, I know.

And now, why I’m upset and at whom. I’m upset at myself. Because I have now reached a new low- TWO darned weeks without posting.

And this is not for lack of trying neither. But that’s just an excuse. One that’s unacceptable. Yeah, I had contributors that ought to have delivered and didn’t, but yup, that’s just another excuse (and me guilt tripping y’all. You know yourselves ( -_-).

Why am I beating myself over the head? And why here?

Well, for one, I promised here when I was about to begin Art Stories that I would not abandon this space and promised myself that at the very worst, I would serve something up here once a month. And so, in typical fashion, I’ve saved the best for last left it till the last minute. No, literally, the very last minute. Terrible. *smh pathetically*

More importantly, I’ve learnt, from others and from past personal experience, that one of the best ways out of a rut such as this is to write ones own way out of it. Sounds near nonsensical that one would suggest that the way to deal with not being able to write or draw… is to write or draw. But this has been proven over and again so… *shrug*

And most importantly, I’m beating myself over the head on here as a public reminder to self to do better. TNC 3.0 launches next week. We’ll call this inefficient phase a ‘test drive’, bury the demons, slay the carcasses, pick up the bad attitude and body slam it before heading off into the new era.

Ladies, gentlemen, it is time.

[This post was finished at 11.45pm on the 31st of July, 2013 after which I proceeded to post it… Only to find that etisalat had taken up the N2000 credit I had bought that morning as data rather than renewing the BIS subscription for which I had made the purchase. Imagine, two tauzon, gone just like dat!

I contemplated not putting up the post at all when I was able to, but considering the pungent reasons seen above for which I wrote it at all… Well, you’re reading this now, aren’t you?

I shall however edit the time-published to reflect when it should have originally gone up. Because I can. And to fulfil all righteousness. And cos it makes me feel good. Sue me.]