Oyetola is an amazing woman. Ubertalented and beautiful woman. And I absolutely love her blog! She originally wrote this for her own blog, but then she presented me (and you, by extension) the honour of having it be a part of #30DaysOfHope. Enjoy…
LOL! So… em… happy new year! Yes this is the 22nd of January. My philosophy is that new year expires after the end of January.
SO HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS!
First off I cannot explain how many times I have started writing a new year post, with resolutions and all that. I was never able to finish it the way I wanted.
So I have a couple of scribble paragraphs in memo pads all over the place and on my phone, full of wit and the beginning to write my new year resolutions and then I stop… never to return to the page again.
Not to be dramatic or anything but yes…
This year I have so many things I wanna get done, thinking about it too much could send me into a deep dark hole called the comfort zone. I however have had enough of that place,
For a long time last year I was BEATING myself up about not getting p early for work. The snooze button was my friend! I hit it everyday, every morning! What is the point of the alarm please? Towards the end of last year I was even turning off the alarm entirely and getting up at 7:30 or even 7:45 am. This ate me up for the longest time. I just felt so inefficient and I prayed to God to help me. Not to just wake up early but to get stuff done as well before heading off to work. I want to be reading my bible and exercising, packing my brekkie and/or lunch before heading out.
I am happy to say that this is what has been happening since a couple of days into the new year. Lol well most of it sha. As I am now not super woman now. Plus when I wake up I find that I get up off my bed but spend like 5-10 mins just looking. LOL! I swear if it has been happening before I am just noticing now. I caught myself sometime this week and was like AH! Time is just going and I am not sleeping, working out or on my comfy toilet seat? Wonderful.
I have tried doing all 4 but I find that I have to give one up in order to get out of the house on time. It is well… all is work in progress. Which brings me to my 2nd point.
I MUST STOP BEATING MYSELF UP! I dont acknowledge when I am better than I used to be even though I am not where I desire to be regarding a certain thing. I have come to realise that like a lot pf psychos and control freaks, the frailty of my humanity irritates me often. Not mildly at that. This is as a result of many things surely and thats why I am my harshest critic.
In 2014 this mama is giving herself a break abeg. E don do. I am not super woman, even though some of such attributes are expected of me… I can only do what I can do. The rest will get done if it should be.
WANDERLUST! Oh I wanna travel! Oh yea, this past new year was the first I celebrated in another country and away from my family. Now I can tick something off my bucket list I havent created yet. Well it is something I have always wanted to do. I was in the UAE and let me just say those people dont play with the fireworks at all. It was beautiful… finish.
I am already saving and looking forward to another holiday. Somewhere a little less…metro? Is that the word I am looking for? I don’t know. My wish has always been to see the beautiful side of Africa… Mauritius, Seychelles, The Gambia and co. Lol… no, its not solely because I would not require a visa to go to those places… actually that is like 70% of the reason. The rest has to do with just sitting and looking at blue water…. Yes! I pray I am still around by the scheduled time and I am able to go and have a good time with the best company!
Asides from travelling… I wanna move away from home… Should I say this? No I am not running away from anything, I just think that its time. Now what I would do when I am away is the question. A masters? Thats what the people at home would expect… It is primarily for getting out of the comfort zone really. I shall see about that. I just want to bother about my own fears and not the fears of others. Its easier to knock your fears alone than to worry about that of other people. I dont even know if this is the right approach but what I do know is, the excitement I feel when I think of the possibilities…that excitement is too friggin real!
FITNESS! See how I write it in all caps as if thats what my life is about. I must say that I have done better than I thought I would so far. I hope it becomes a steady lifestyle for me. I obviously need to improve on my working out aspect, but the food bit is panning out nicely.
Communication with other human beings! Lord I have become soooooo bad! Laziness is on a kentro when it comes to this. What I decided to do was put reminders on my phone at different times to make calls to people. Started yesterday, it worked. I really feel bad when its on my mind to call someone for days then they end up calling me. It happens too often for me to ignore it any longer. Generally with other human beings I long to do better. To even open my heart to the possibility of someone loving me just like this… to not doubt that its true when it is. That one go hard small but well, they have told me to focus in my house lol. They are not kicking me out though. I just need to ensure that if I do get kicked out eventually, it is not to the house of a bastard…or a potential one.
My relationship with God…this is by no means the least on this list of things. I would just like to say with all my heart that I am grateful that man is not God. AMEN! I am sure God shakes His divine head at me often in the skies above. If there is any step I am going to take with regards to this relationship growing stronger, it would be to listen to that still small voice. Many a times I have ignored it and I know how I paid for it. Many times I have asked God to see me through the day and then He finds a way to give me little instructions and I just dont listen. With regards to some things I have learnt to listen, with regards to others I believe I am on my way.
Most importantly this year, I want to live as I ought to. As I am supposed to. I want to live in such a way that if death comes calling I wont panic, or be utterly pissed at myself for not doing some things. This is not to put a dampener on things but if there is anything I have come to learn in my years of awareness, death is no respecter of persons. It has a habit of taking awesome people away, how much more or less me?
In all honesty, these are just my plans… Lord God…you know what is best. That is what I prefer. For me and all that I love and care for. Amen.