Olo has warned me that I must not do a short intro for her so I’m just going to ramble here for a bit until I think this intro is long enough to satisfy her and not land me in any trouble of any sort… Okay, I think this should do ^_^
Hi. It’s your girl again. Here to write out my hopes for 2014. You already know them, at least the ones that have occurred to me up to this time. You also know that I’m not one to make plans for a whole year. What’s the point when you are so good at replacing them with yours? I actually don’t mind when you do that, by the way. Yours are always better and you spoil me so much that you usually grant my wishes anyway, but Toks challenged us to write our hopes down. So, here I am, doing something unusual. Drumroll, please.
I want you. I want you more than anything in the world. I love you deeply and I know you love me too. On that day at the beginning of the year when my plane had to make an emergency landing and I wasn’t sure if I’d live, I remember telling you I wasn’t ready to come home. That I hadn’t done anything for you and it would be a waste of a life to die with all of that potential. I remember, too, how I had not prayed that morning. I had not been spending time with you during the weeks leading up to 2014 anyway so it was becoming somewhat of a stupid trend. S-T-U-P-I-D! Because you deserve way more than I was giving. Admittedly I was in a different location, out of my usual routine, but you were there too. No excuses, Baba. And when I prayed for you to land that plane safely, I did not feel condemnation, but love. Your girl had kind of pushed you to the background for weeks, but when you had the chance to ‘flex your muscle’ and condemn me, you chose love. I was surrounded by it, and I knew the plane would land safely. I knew, and it did. So God, I want to go crazy for you. Not just because of that episode but because it’s time. The harvest is truly plenty and the labourers are truly few. The few labourers need to step up. So this is me publicly asking you to sign me up. I know it’ll take work and move me out of my comfort zone, but you’re worth it. I love you enough not to mind, but you know this.
Speaking of love, I need to improve my relationship with the brother. There is no animosity, just indifference. He lives just an hour away and there are phones and social media but we are letting life happen and not cherishing the gift of siblinghood. I know its breaking the parents’ hearts. I do love him but I’m not putting in any effort to show it. I definitely need to work on that this year.
In the spirit of working, the keyboard and guitar in my room need servicing. I’m probably the only one that has two instruments and can’t play either. I just need motivation. Please give me some this year. I promise to play for you (yes this is me trying to bribe you! :P). I also need to learn to sing from my belly or diaphragm or whatever those people say. Teach me, please, because the music game needs to be upped this year.
On the subject of motivation, there is absolutely none to go back to the gym. Zilch. I can almost hear the “boooooo!” coming from the fitfam camp, but, honestly, trudging through the snow to go to the gym at 6.45 a.m. is not appealing at all right now. That determination I had for those couple of months in 2013 seems to have died in 2013. Maybe because it wasn’t that cold then and there wasn’t this much snow outside. Meh! We’ll see. Maybe I’ll resume my love affair with the gym sometime this year. Maybe.
And I think it’d be nice to end this letter by confirming in writing the decision I have made to actually live. You know I’m a chronic saver. I LOVE to see money in my savings but that’s where it ends. I have no problem giving to others, but when it comes to giving to myself, that’s another ball game. I’m going to stop depriving myself of certain things and start living. I know I’ll be fine, after all it’s whatever vessel I present to you that you’ll fill. If I come to you with a bucket, you’ll fill a bucket, but if I come to you with a tank, you’ll fill a tank. I made a couple of big purchases in December, and I’m still fine. You provide. They don’t call you Jehovah Jireh for nothing. So this year, money and I are having a Master-Servant relationship. I will give without fear, to myself and to others, and money will serve me. I know you will fill the vessels I need to do this, because you are God, and because you can.
Oh, before I sign off, here’s a song that encapsulates my desire for 2014. Cheesy? Corny? It’s ok, you like cheese and corn. Plus songs are awesome, anyway.
Till Prayer Time.
With all my love,