Dark 9: Cynthia

*Hope is like a tree sitting on a mountain where the grasses don’t grow…Hope is a ghost in the deepest of memories…Hope is the beat in the oldest heart…*

I had it all planned out in my head, my ceremonial entry into the New Year. This time it will be without any expectations, requests, prayers to an unseen God, no singing, no smiles…and just maybe this time around, I won’t feel so let down each time my expectations weren’t met.

2014 was not what I would call a good year for me as there were more tears than smiles. Entering each phase of life without your best friend, finding out your operation may lead to another one, entering a false relationship and wasting your time, not being able to bring your cat home, the senseless time consuming arguments, job disappointments, unexpected mood swings, family issues you could not escape from…Everything weighed deeply on me and I forgot how to be happy, genuinely happy. There are days screaming wasn’t enough, tears seemed to open those scars even more. It became hard to remember the good in my life. Gratitude became a myth.

*Only in the darkness can you see the stars*

I forgot that life was like a kaleidoscope; one minute you see fiery dragons, the next, snow covered mountains. I started to remember…the silly dances with my sisters, the wind in your face when driving fast, sleepovers with friends, the tiny miracles, my nana hugging me and praying for me, good music, movies, writing, family…and I started to smile again.

Then came 2015 (Happy New Year to you guys) and with it, a rush of Hope. Hope that this year will definitely be better in all ramifications, my business will kick off and grow in leaps and bounds, and I get to check off everything on my prayer list, that someone reading this will find Hope.  I pray you have the best this year because you deserve nothing less, that you’ll find joy in your daily communication with God and that every time life tries to bring you down, you’ll bounce back even stronger on the shoulders of Hope.

At the end of the day, I’m sitting cross-legged on my bed saying in my heart to God, that I’m hopelessly hopeful that he’s enough to see me through this year.

Hi, I’m Cynthia.

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5 comments on “Dark 9: Cynthia

  1. consigliere says:

    Hello cynthia, 2015 will be beautiful. God’s blessings on you and yours.

    Like

  2. Amen…He’ll see you through this year and more

    Like

  3. enajyte says:

    I love that you put others’ in your prayers for yourself.

    I pray for you. That nothing will steal your joy. That you’ll find comfort in God who is everything. That you’ll prosper in everything you do. That you’ll bloom and flourish even in the difficult seasons. I pray for you.
    Shalom.

    Liked by 2 people

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