Day 12: Ofure

Prologue

Balls. Balls. Balls.
Big balls! Hairy Balls!! Bald balls!!!

For as long as I can remember, I have never been a fan of resolutions. Never written a review, never “penned” down my new year resolutions just because I didn’t believe in it. I never had the balls to write one. I was scared. I was always a strong advocate of taking each year as it came. I know you are wondering why this year is different. Well, I am tired of getting to the end of a year, looking back and realizing I achieved nothing. I have a strong feeling that maybe, just maybe by writing it down, this year is going to be “THE” year.

Then and now

1) 2014- That year was a year I lived in denial. I refused to accept my mum was dead. I was angry. Angry at my mum for not fighting harder to live. Angry at God for taking her but mostly angry at myself for loving her so much that losing her made my life not worth living. I woke up everyday believing she would come back. I waited everyday for a call from her. They never happened.
2015- This year, hopefully I will finally break down. I will finally accept she’s gone and never coming back. I will finally stop hurling insults at people who say she’s resting in heaven and get emotional closure.

2) 2014- That year, I thought about love and finding it. But you see, I started it “Baeless” and ended “Baeless”. I was heartbroken on several occasions. do you know how it feels to wake up in the morning, finally decide to go against all odds and post your MCM, only to log on to twitter and boom, you see that same “crush” post a tweet “she said yes”. You don’t abi?? Do you know what it feels to like a guy and just when you are finally into him, he casually says during a conversation “my wife and kids are coming back soon”?
Well, I am to blame. Shebi I would have activated my Nancy Drew mode earlier.
2015- This year, I get that dream bae. (not really compulsory, but it wont be a bad idea at all). This is the year I hope to unlike all my crushes. (One’s heart isn’t made of stone jarey, tired of all the heartbreaks). The year I become a criminal investigator (the likes of Calleigh Duquesne and Horatio Caine) before going into any relationship. I heard acid hurts like hell. I am not ready to be an acid attack victim.

3) 2014- That year, I had goals ehhhn. In the beginning, I embarked on the fitfam journey, but it seems the devil just sat down in one corner of hell sipping Smoov Chapman and laughing at me. Fast forward to April. I was a shadow of myself. I was consuming soft drink as though my life depended on it. My reply to “Lets go and jog’. “Abeg, I didnt come to this world to suffer”. If being an ambassador of a soft drink brand depended on the amount of drinks consumed, I am very sure I would be on billboards with the likes of Tiwa savage and wizkid. That was how four months into the fitfam journey, my fitfam keke napep developed engine failure.
2015- This year, I must achieve that fitfam goal. I must embark on the fitfam journey and be consistent with it. If not for any reason, then to be healthy and well also have that bikini body I can flaunt. hopefully by the end of 2015, Wendy Lindguist will have nothing on me.

4) 2014- that year, I cut off too many old and new friends. old friends not because they were bad, but because I felt they were too good for me. I felt they were too good for me. I was tired of all the advice they were giving me even though they were for my good. I wanted to live life. well, I did but not without grave consequences. New friends because I was so scared of getting attached to someone and felt once they got the know me, they would leave and I would end up hurt. I couldn’t deal with that.
2015- This year, I wish and desire to finally make peace with my friends. I have finally realized they are the best support system a girl could ever wish for. As for new friends, I am open and ready. Whatever happens, happens. “Hurt” has never been known to kill a man and what doesn’t kill a man only makes him stronger.

5) 2014- That year, academically, it was a blast at first. Everything seemed to work in my favor. then suddenly it all went wrong. I found myself trying to keep my head above water. I was drowning in failure. Let’s just say though it ended well, but it wasn’t quite the way I wanted.
2015- This year, I aspire to graduate. Not just graduate, but graduate with a grade I would be happy to say in public. I look forward to graduation because I know with God and more Hard work, I will be all smiles and able to hold my head high that day.

6)  2014- That year, I was clueless. I didn’t know who I was, I tried to be who I wasn’t. I felt like I was living a borrowed life. I let other peoples opinion about me matter a lot.
2015- This year, just like I saw somewhere. I quote “Here’s hoping 2015 will be the year I find out who I really am without having to take a buzz feed quiz”.

7)  2014- That year, I finally got my dream job, blogging for a reputable company with the best boss ever but I was lazy. Always inconsistent with post and articles. never made deadlines and all.
2015- This year, I want to be dedicated. I want To be that worker every boss will be proud of. I intend to give this job my all.

8) 2014- That year, I had 600 paranormal/erotic novels and counting. Far below what I wanted.
2015- This year, I want people to take a look at my paranormal library and go WOW. I want to have them in every corner of my house. I want to be in a position where every week, I can give out 10 and not feel a thing.

Epilogue

I could go on and on, but here’s hoping at the end of 2015, I will come back here, read all these, smile till my mouth touches my ears and say “HAY, I ACHIEVED THEM AND MORE”.
Thank you Olatoxic for an opportunity to have a place to finally write down my hopes and aspirations for a year. May 2015 be the year we are overwhelmed with blessings.
Cheers to a memorable 2015.
*sips pep… sorry water while moonwalkimg to Kukere*

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4 comments on “Day 12: Ofure

  1. enajyte says:

    *chop knuckle* fellow soft drink ambassador.

    Water overcomes all temptations. Sometimes. Don’t reward yourself for every victory with a bottle. (I never knew sugar could be as addictive as alcohol. The struggle is real.)

    Lol @ crime investigator.

    I’m not a fan of paranormal/erotic novels but I’ll read a story if you write one set in Nigeria.

    Much love. Shalom!

    Like

  2. Reading this feels like I’m looking at myself in the mirror…everything from mum to school, well maybe not the fitfam part… Gosh! I pray you find all you’re looking for. And I hope with you that you find closure and be better. It’ll all end well

    Like

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