Day 24: Fade

I am 25years old, and I am thankful.

2014. I don’t think I’d ever forget that year. If its the way it sounds to my ears, or there was just something about that year.

No. I didn’t hit it big. No. I didn’t travel the world or anywhere that is worth mentioning. No. I didn’t have my plans work out for me. No. I didn’t make a lot of friends, go to many fun places, buy a lot of shoes or bags or just ride out at night just because we areyoung, wild and free. No. Nothing fancy.

But this is what I’m thankful for; Everyday I woke up to a new day. That is HOPE. Hope that I still have a chance of a better year. For that, I am thankful.

I am 25years old, and I am tired.

I’m tired of making excuses for my short coming. I’m tired explaining myself out of some situations when I could have as well done the right thing. I’m tired of wasting my life with the things that don’t matter. I’m tired of being content with whatever life throws at me. I’m tired of not being blunt just because I don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. I’m tired of running from confrontations.  I’m tired of never voicing out a comeback (if necessary) when I get into an arguement with someone, only to reenact the scene later with my cleverly shrewd response. Im tired of being afraid. I’m tired of being tired. I am tired.

I am 25years old, and I am searching.

Growing up, I have always had life mapped out for me. Preschool, primary, secondary, university, post graduate school. Everything had was all in black and white. Did I forgot to mention NYSC? Lawl!

My parents provided for me and shielded me as much as they knew how to with private schooling. And then, reality began. That’s not really the problem. I digress.

Architecture is so much fun! The ability to come up with different ideas no matter how impossible… crazy! But I think Interior Design is just as much fun. And being a make up artist. And craft work. And singing. And sewing. And a thousand and one other things that I know how to do with my hands.

The big question now is; which one is it? Which one is the one that brings in the big bucks. Which is the one that I’m supposed to do, to be a blessing to my generation? I am searching.

I am 25years old, and  I am lost.

I am 25years old, and I have big dreams.

I am 25years old, and time is running out.

I am 25years old, and I want it all…….

I am 25years old, and I have found the way out!

I always lived by the rules for a reason. Its either I didn’t want to get kicked out of school (shout out to my CU peeps…I see you), or I didn’t want to dissapoint someone, or I didn’t want my parents to see me as rebellious... there was always a catch. I never fully did them because I wanted to.

But now, I want to!

Of course, there still is a catch, but this time it’s different. I want to!

Matthew 6:33 has the answer.

       “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and All these things shall be added unto you.”

Did you see that?!!! Everything that I ever would want!!! To me that’s big jackpot!!!

I want to stop being tired, I want to stop searching, I want to start living!

Funny thing is, I have always known about this solution for a long while. I guess you never really know until you KNOW. Light. This has always been the solution!

The only difference now is… I am ready to pay the price! I want to take responsibility of my life. I want to stop wishing for it and dreaming it, I actually want to start living it.

I know it will not be easy in anyway, but then I SAW this among the many others truths that I have found. Isaiah 43:2;

          “When you go through deep waters; I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty; you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression; you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.”

So, yes. These times will surely come, but I have an assurance that I will make it through them all. I’d definitely be a fool if I turn down this offer!

This is my HOPE for this year. That i would be able to look back at the end of this year and say like Jesus said “…the prince of this world cometh and hath nothing on me.”

I am 25years old going on 26…

And I’m a little bit older, a little bit wiser, a little bit rounder, and I have found the way out!

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2 comments on “Day 24: Fade

  1. preshy says:

    well woww!!! we see you too…:’)

    Like

  2. enajyte says:

    This here brought tears to my eyes because I know. I really know.

    Have a breakout year. Keep going, your feet will find stay.

    Shalom!

    Like

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