Dark 26: Nimi

First off my apologies to the creator of this challenge which I enjoy very much. I’ve been so in my head that I missed out my day and he’s been kind enough to fit me in.

My 30 days of hope will actually be summed up in one sentence so let me drag things out a little bit an give a review on 2014:

‘Facing my spirituality head on, away from the trappings of religion.’ Yeeeaaah so I did have some moments of spiritual awakening and…ha, I couldn’t even finish that. I feel like I’m in a little bit more turmoil about this than for reasons that may be clear by the end of this post.

‘Write more, go for every writing opportunity available to me, improve, create variety, and put myself out there
.’ Hmm… Let’s just say I will be better this year.

“Dear Body, you have served me incredibly well. I should treat you better.” I am so much more aware of what I’m doing to this body of mine. I still need to do so much better though but now I’m all about putting ish into practice.

“Be as good to those around me as they are to me.”  I was good about this 2014, I will be better in 2015. You just don’t know what’s around the corner.

“Stop enjoying life and go get married.” I think the sentence I put there was ‘to be in a situation that will encourage that special one on one partnership.’ 2014 was a good year for it… and it was all with A LOT of enjoyment 😉

“To keep challenging myself to step out of my comfort zone.”
My big thing in 2014 ended up being something completely unexpected. I hosted an erotic poetry event, never in life would I have thought I’d do that (yeah I know you’re surprised especially after my chosen genre in writing). Public speaking is not something I like at all (I tried to choose my university modules based on the lack of presentation involved) but the opportunity came and I said a hesitant yes. I’m so glad I did…so ‘yes!’ to more in 2015.

So what is my hope for 2015?

To be happy. To live

I lost my mum in November 2014, this upcoming weekend will be when her body is put to the ground. I feel like my heart stopped as soon as I heard the news. I feel like it hasn’t really started again. Like I’m living without realising, just coasting, going through the motions. One of the reasons I wanted to do this piece was for it to remind me of the good things in 2014, and there were… they just rarely come to mind. I did some great things, I met some amazing people but all that doesn’t seem to matter because I can’t get past November 2014. It feels like my whole year began and ended with that date. So for 2015, I want to feel happy again, I want to live again, I want my heart to start beating again. It is what I want & I know for sure it’ll be what she wants. Mama was way too vivacious to allow a small thing like death stop her fun, so why should I.

Here’s to 2015, a year of living, of happiness and of hope. Make sure you enjoy it to the best of your ability. If you don’t know how, start with a shot of tequila 😉

6 comments on “Dark 26: Nimi

  1. A says:

    Oh wow, my condolences. I can’t imagine how you feel but as you have decided to live and live happily, I believe that is more than you can ask of yourself so a big AMEN to that. God bless you and I pray your hopes come to fruition by God’s special grace (amen)


  2. TheRustGeek says:

    Accept my condolences Yve.. Sadly, loss and lostness were things I became familiar with in 2014 also and can relate..

    Sounds like 2014 was a break through year of sorts (creatively) for you.. Hopefully 2015 continues in the same vein..


  3. yevandy says:

    So sorry about your loss.
    dark times always make our testimonies greater, later.


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