Dusk 27: Shirley

I tend to get overwhelmed by the sheer size of my dreams and I begin to second guess myself; my confidence becomes shaky and I make questionable decisions. In 2015 I hope to cut that shit out.

No. I INTEND to cut that shit out!

Hebrews 11:1 “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”

In 2015, I intend to do more than hope, I intend to walk by faith. I have played it reasonably safe the past couple of years. I’m not a gambler, I refused to take big risks because I didn’t want to have to deal with the hurt. In the past, I had taken a huge risk and lost… and it hurt like hell. Then the most amazing thing happened, I didn’t die. I’m still here and I’m still awesome.

Faith & fear both demand you believe in something you cannot see. You choose!


I choose Faith

When the thing you fear the most happens, then you come out on the other side… when you survive the thing you were sure would break you, when the hurt begins to subside and begin to realise you’ll be fine, fear loses its grip over you. Freedom.

Desperation and anxiety creates an unwanted bias in the decision making process. Tunnel vision; inability to see the bigger picture. Again, I need to cut that shit out. Faith cannot exist alongside worry and anxiety. Everything good will come.This knowledge is the the secret to peace of mind; the holy grail.

You know that saying about how you will continue to repeat life’s lessons until you learn what you need to grow? Well, 2014 was about learning my lessons. I had to repeat a few classes but I think I nailed it this time. People will leave, but they will be replaced. No one is indispensable. You will make mistakes, you’ll do better next time. You will be disappointed, you’ll be delighted  . You will hurt. You will Lose. And you will be fine.

And it will all be worth it.

“...you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever.”

I aced my classes, so bring on the advanced lessons!

In 2015 I intend to take all of the risks; personal growth, career, relationships… also, the guitar and swimming lessons are way overdue.


2 comments on “Dusk 27: Shirley

  1. enajyte says:

    No one is indispensable. Truth.

    Yay for swimming and guitar lessons.

    Have a fab year. Shalom!


  2. Abiola says:

    Fear is not real…….you go girl!


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