Dusk 22: Oluwadamilola

The Bible says; “hope deferred makes the heart sick.” It’s funny how the Bible is always right. I did not have many dreams when I started 2015; I did not write down or discuss resolutions. In fact, I believe I went into 2015 with the idea that ‘what will be will be’, and so it went. By the time I was half way through 2015, I was in despair and I was yearning for my purpose. I was asking God to awaken me to the point of my entire human existence. I was living with a tremendous amount of fear and trepidation, many things were changing and I felt I was lagging behind. I did not want to live just for the sake of living; I wanted my life and story to have a point. I was asking God not to show me the destination, but instead, to give me the direction and the path I needed to follow. In 2015, I felt lost. 

It was in that melancholy that I started writing again, and started reading again with the voracity I once had. In 2015, I birthed my blog, looking back today, I realise that I actually fulfilled so many dreams in 2015. A Yoruba proverb says; “Bi omode ba dupe ore ana, a ri omiran gba” (when a child shows gratitude for a benefit, he will receive another).  So I put my misery aside and ended 2015 with a grateful heart, as I made a list of all the things to be thankful for in the year gone by. I deferred all other hope into 2016.

Hope for God. There is a vast hole in my heart that only God can fill. I think He put it there, to remind me that He is and has always been the source of my joy. I don’t want to feel far from Him this year. I want to stay as close to His heart as possible.

Hope for friendships. In 2015, I met many people, but in 2016, I want to build real friendships. I realised as 2015 ended that there is a significant amount of superficiality in many friendships, I yearn for a symbiotic relationship built on Christ, love and respect.

Hope for love. In 2015, I learnt that my fear of love was always incorrect. I had often assumed that I’ll never fall, but I realised that was the wrong thing to fear. In 2016, I desire to listen speedily when God says ‘No’ and when He says ‘wait’. I do not want to question the signs I asked Him to show me. I have been obedient on this issue, but I want to obey with immediate alacrity in the future.

Hope for tears. In 2015, I seemed to cry a lot. I seemed to be weary a lot. I desire for that to change. I want to have more tears of joy than of misery in 2016. I hope to focus on the beauty that surrounds me than the storms that overshadow me.

Hope for motherhood. My mother is a great woman, she is always right and has been a mother to so many. In 2016, I want to cherish her more. I thank God for my mum. Today is her birthday; please celebrate her.

When I asked Olatoxic for a chance to write in this year’s #30daysofHope, I had no idea what I wanted to write about. So I chose my mother’s birthday and wished for the best. As I struggled to write, I remembered this poem by Emily Dickinson that describes the meaning of hope;

“Hope is the thing with feathers

That perches in the soul,

And sings the tune without the words,

And never stops at all,”

So I cover 2016 in the Blood of Jesus and declare it to be a year of God, hope and realisation of dreams. I pray that God will awaken you to your purpose and enable you to walk toward your destiny, I pray that you will shed only tears of joy in 2016.

Happy New Year!

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2 comments on “Dusk 22: Oluwadamilola

  1. […] 2016 as part of Olatoxic’s yearly #30daysofhope project. Check out his blog and read the article here. Until next time! I promise it won’t be too […]

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  2. […] When the time came to write this essay, I had to return here to see what I had hoped for in my January post. To be fair, I read the article fearfully. However, I realise now that I was filled with so much […]

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