Day 23: Ogenna

You guys, it’s a leap year, turn up.

Hi, Ogenna here, I realized just now, I had to go back to look at posts from people before because I have just realized I am not my own person. Not like that but I need a guide to start writing which even if it isn’t bad, is not very wonderful; but I have decided 2016 is the year I make my own decisions without basing them on people’s opinions. Don’t get me wrong, opinions are welcome. They will be considered, but in the end I will make a conscious effort to have my own train of thought.

I have started an online journal to document my day. I’m trying to fill it every day or every 2 days, it’s going good so far. I can’t complain. I am learning to keep to my word, I tend to make offhand promises and fail to fulfill them, I‘m stopping it. I will stop apologizing for what I feel or don’t feel and who I am. I am trying my best and my best might never be enough for some and that’s okay. No harm, no foul. I will stop inconveniencing myself for people, period.

Moving on, this is the year I become old enough to drink in every country in the world, I’m excited about that but the thing is I am quitting; alcohol I mean. I’m happy actually.

I don’t expect much from 2016 because disappointment kills, it cripples me actually, I’m taking every day as it comes, writing it down and praying for a better tomorrow. I came into this year sad actually. I won’t lie, no matter how much I try not to stress myself or over think, I still do. It’s reduced but I battle with depression occasionally. Not occasionally per se, it’s a lot, but I must be happy. I have to be. This world owes me nothing, nothing at all. I think I’m done.

2016 is just starting and I’m going to list out my goals just in case I forget them, I’m going to come back here to read them;

  1. Graduate.
    I will.
  2. Pray, pray, pray, pray again.
    Talk to my father every day I wake.
  3. Read up to 100 new books this year, Write more.
    Reading takes me where I want to be and writing helps put my thoughts in order, I think it’s a sin to ignore your God given talent.
  4. Buy myself stuff because I’m the only person who loves me almost 80%.
    I save and then spend it on things that I can’t see in the near future, it makes me sad when I’m balancing my account and I can’t seem to find what I spent my money on.
  5. Realize relationships aren’t do-or-die affairs.
    I know you should think of the future and if you don’t see yourself marrying the person you’re with, then you shouldn’t even be together but I can’t kill myself, honestly, I’m young, not that young but I am young.
  6. Learn to play the guitar.
    Stand up poetry goes well with chords from a guitar yunnooooo.
  7. Travel more.
    I am not a tree, no matter how tall I am, I will not grow roots and be fixed to the ground, I am going to try new things, see new places.
  8. Learn a language.  A programming language (lol) and an actual extra language.
    I’ve always put off learning a new language because I assumed I was too old (lol, lol, lol), my thought pattern slays me.
  9. Pay attention to people who love me and appreciate them more.
    I realized I have friends who care about me, and I am making an effort to check on them as much as possible.
  10. Lose weight, stay fit.
    I’m not even big so this is me being extra but I just want to be fit.
  11. Face confrontation head on, not every time ignore.
    I hate confrontations; they make me want to bury my face in my palms and cry, but sometimes they are necessary to move forward in life.

11 because I’m extra. 2015 was wonderful, it was full of ups and downs, horrible experiences and beautiful experiences too, 2016 please be nice to me, I mean I’m Sunshine; me sef I’m a human being.

Smile. 2016 might not be the year everything turns out right but it will be full of beautiful experiences and lessons.


 

I love how Ogenna says she’s not expecting anything from this year and then reels this list of things this yeah must expect from her. Talk about a throwdown yo!

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6 comments on “Day 23: Ogenna

  1. Tomboxe says:

    Ogenna, beautiful Ogenna.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Rare_rey says:

    There’s something so pure about how you wrote this. I kept smiling while I read it, and I don’t even know you.

    A big amen to your goals/desires, and here’s praying that depression abandons you this year.

    God is rooting for you, and so am I.

    Like

  3. […] I’m going to go over my plans for the year which I wrote down in […]

    Like

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