I chose the 28th because I turn 28 this year.
And I’m not sure how I feel about it.
On one hand, I’m one of those people who really enjoy celebrating my birthday-no big parties but lots of biscuits and ice cream and movies. I really like that I’m getting older. It just bothers me now I guess because I’ve failed recently.
And it’s not one thing either, nope it’s ‘a series of unfortunate events’ since the end of 2015 spilling into 2016 and I think
I’ve hit rock bottom now I’m at a low point right now.
So you know, that’s the ‘other hand’ and all.
Odd thing is though I’m not as sad/upset/depressed as I usually am about these things. I mean there’s the occasional crying and asking God questions but all in all I’ve had a really hopeful outlook on everything. Church has been a big help especially getting involved with some amazing people who motivate and encourage me. It’s because of them I began a Bible reading plan this year. My brother got married to an absolute darling last year, my Mum is finally done with school (don’t ask), Sisi is happy with her work, I started painting more often and had my first exhibition last year and reading too. I’ve learnt to look at these ‘small miracles’, keep track of them and recite them when everything feels so bleak.
That said, what do I hope for most this year?
First, I’d like to resume writing again. I’ve been dragging my feet but this month is my month!! *looks at calendar*
Next month is my month!! I have a thousand and one scattered ideas running through my head and would love to get them out very soon.
I’d like to travel this year, within Nigeria. Nothing nationalistic, just I have to be reasonable about what I can afford these next few months plus I really haven’t seen as much of this *insert patriotic, superfluous descriptor* country as I should have.
I really want to learn to play the violin this year. My goal is to be able to play Memory of Fanelia from the Escaflowne OST by the end of the year – I can’t even read music and don’t own a violin. People, pray for me.
I’ve got a few projects in the works and some still in planning stage so I really hope I can work on all of them this year.
Maybe two academic papers too while I’m being all hopeful?
Most of all though, I really want peace this year, to have faith without feeling like someone poured acid on my heart and to learn to make the most of difficult situations without whining as much (let’s just accept I’m going to complain regardless).
So help me God.
Writing. Travel. Violin. Two academic papers. Peace. Faith. Learning. Small fries for a God who’s a very present help in and beyond times of trouble.
God’s got you, Ju.