Day 9: Osisiye

Life becomes easier once you know things will work out even if you are lacking something. I am not going to come here and make a list with notes on how I didn’t achieve this and I am almost achieving that.

Processed with VSCO

These things really don’t matter

People stay focusing on the wrong things; thinking if they wrote more or sang more, life would be better but don’t you get it? Life is in the living and you can’t do more than you are doing now and you should be grateful for even that.

This year, I confronted death; I have been confronting death since. I hit 30 before I got to 30 and the high has been worth it. These things really don’t matter; what matters is what you thought didn’t matter.

Am I being true to myself? Am I doing the best for me and showing love any small way I can show it? That’s what’s been mattering this year and it’s not something I can explain cos it’s something that happens every day.

I always thought happiness or achievement was in the next step but I have gotten the things I wanted and where am I – on the floor. Ola thinks he’ll be happy when he starts making arm bands, Cece thinks she’ll be happy when they pay her owed salaries; they won’t. I am just sitting here and I know these things and I wish they knew these things.

So I am here reviewing my life in the past 6 months. Have I lived it well? Maybe. Will I try to live it better? Yes. Have I written enough? It’s not your business. What the fuck is ‘enough’? Cos see, I wrote a book and thought I will be happy but I can’t even see the difference between me before and me now. Then I am working on another book but that thing keeps looking like piss every day no matter where I store it. And I got a job after throwing the other job away but I want to throw this one away too. And the bike I thought will make me happy, that one almost kills me every day.

I’m alive and that’s something. Are you?

My novel, ‘Sixty Percent of a True Story’ is available at Terra Kulture, Quintessence, AMAZON and KONGA.

Advertisements

6 comments on “Day 9: Osisiye

  1. zifahblogs says:

    I love this Tafa! So candid and relatable.

    Keep living, loving and being true to yourself; ciao!

    Like

  2. Achalugo says:

    Always a pleasure to read from here.

    Osi, yes, these things don’t matter.

    Like

  3. toeseen says:

    Wow. This really made me self-reflect, and heaven knows we need that, everyday. *sighs* I guess I just need to learn to BE, and enjoy BE-ING. Thanks Osisiye.

    Like

  4. […] Osiyeye was right, maybe life does become easier once you know things will work out even if you are lacking […]

    Like

  5. Chizzy says:

    This is beautiful.. We often believe that the more we achieve, the happier we will be. But that is a lie. I am halfway through Msc.. I know that won’t make much except for a day or two.

    Thanks for this piece.

    Like

Comments are beautiful. Create a thing of beauty here:

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s