Hi everyone, it’s Ope here. I am glad I have been given another opportunity to share my thoughts on Olatoxic’s blog, and I can boldly say I am better than the last time I wrote here.
At the beginning of the year I had gotten to a point where I felt that Hoping for anything good to come was a waste of time, something I wasn’t willing to do. I had plans for the year, but I really just had them, I wasn’t sure the year would be any different from the rest before. Well, I was in for a surprise.
Not long after I sent in my entry for 30 days of Hope, I was asked to append my signature to a document that stated that I was to be given a raise (almost 2x what I had been earning before). I was dumbfounded really, because I was not expecting anything like that to happen to me. I had been in a very dark place before that time and I thought God was going to punish me severely afterwards, so a raise was a surprise. I decided to try to have a positive mindset after then, for me it was more than the money, it was the fact that God looked at me, despite my shortcomings, my lack of belief in him, and gave me something I really needed at a point when I felt I deserved nothing.
The devil tried it though, I mean I decided to become more faithful to God, by not just praying at home and in my heart, but attending mass as often as I could. On some Sundays I’d be tempted to sleep past 5:15, (mass is at 6:00am), and I’d succumb, but for the most part of this year, I have been a regular at church.
I started paying my tithe for the first time since I started working (Honestly could not afford it before now). I was able to increase my monthly stipend to my folks, and I was able to help my kid sis pay her school bills without feeling like I was drowning. It might not be much, but these things have really made me happy so far this year.
So far, I have been at peace with myself, and with my God. Knowing that he can answer even calls I didn’t make filled me with hope (even though I like to form hard guy and say ehn..lets just see how it goes), but I guess God knows my heart. Per relationships, I tried to date someone for the first time in almost 4years, and it was a huge mess, but I really did not invest too much time thinking about it; my prayer to God pertaining to men now is that God should uproot every Man who will not give me peace of mind, by whatever means possible, and so far, he has been faithful.
I finally got my Masters form (after almost 4+years of holding it off because owo o pe), and I am hoping I do well enough in the exams to get in so I can put things in place to pursue the career I actually love.
I am still trying to work hard at being a better person, a better sister, and a better friend to people I have around me. I am trying to see the good in other people as well, and also working on not seeing a demon in every Man (LOL). I am certainly hoping I don’t have a relapse, and keep on being hopeful, because it feels really good to be here.