I sit here wondering what has happened in the last six months… questioning myself over and over…

time concept, selective focus point, special toned photo f/x

When I got the email from Toxic reminding me of 30 days Purposeful – I froze! Mentally, I wasn’t ready to re visit my resolutions. In fact, I stalled writing this post to the very last minute, drowning myself in other things!

Eventually, I went back to read my post from January and I came to the realization that things had not been so bad this year, but not so great either.

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“We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present.” 
― Anaïs Nin

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Happiness

As with every one, I’ve had highs and lows but hey! Isn’t that life??? Some times things get fucked up but I have my happy place…

Blogging

Extremely proud of myself – I’ll be celebrating a year of blogging soon *throws confetti* I’ve written a couple of posts that have made me so proud of myself as a writer, and as a woman! You can check out my blog here.

I’ve also been running a blog community with a couple of writers I met on a course, check that out here. It’s been amazing being able to connect with bloggers from all over the globe.

Career Development

Well, remember when I said things had not been that bad but not so great either?? Lets just say I’ve still got the rest of the year to turn things around – I’m still hopeful and still working on other things.

Fitfam wahala

I’m just going to give myself a big pat on the back here – I be looking al kinds of good (even if I do say so myself) – and biko if you’re my friend please stop asking me if I want to disappear LOL

Friendship

I’ve let go of so much anger this year and gosh I feel so light and so free – I’ve reconnected with some of my old friends and I’ve even managed to make new ones. Sometimes it’s ok to just let certain friendships run their course

So…..after typing all of this out, can someone explain to me why I still feel so empty and unfulfilled on some days??

There’s so much more I want need to do this year and it scares me that time is running out. I fear that I may get to the end of this year and not have all my boxes ticked – no new achievements.

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“While you’ll feel compelled to charge forward it’s often a gentle step back that will reveal to you where you and what you truly seek.” 
― Rasheed Ogunlaru

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Maybe Osiyeye was right, maybe life does become easier once you know things will work out even if you are lacking something… maybe I’ll have some sort of breakthrough  by the end of this year… maybe just maybe I just need to have more faith… only time will tell.

Some poems don’t rhyme and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle and end – perhaps life is really about not knowing what’s going to happen next but still making the best out of situations.