Dusk 28: Frances

On my face before God.
That’s what I have spent the better part of 2016 doing… on my face before God.
Frances
I didn’t think that it was going to be so hard, when I wrote in my 30 days of hope post that I was going to be praying in tongues for an hour each day in 2016, I imagined that I would do so just to build up stamina and grow spiritually.
But no.
My prayer time this year has consisted sometimes of me laughing in the Holy Ghost but also more of me crying from tears and pain in my heart.
 
Like where is the fulfillment of the promises for 2016 Lord?
 
Everything that has hurt me, I have poured out in prayer.
 
No, I didn’t get into LEAP Africa after I was interviewed.
Yes, some persons think that I currently am walking slowly, not catching up with my peers…
And I almost thought that God had forgotten me…
 
I poured it all out on my face before God.
 
2016 has been a gut wrenching, faith trying, hope against odds, choosing to trust that God knows what He is doing in my life kind of year.
7 Months gone…
And definitely not what I expected.
 
But then in a lot of ways I have also seen God come through for me in most amazing ways. It’s also been a year where I have wept the most as the reality of how much God loves me hit me.
 
Entering a taxi and having just 150naira in my purse and the next person suddenly pays for me…
Writing my NYSC book with no idea on how it would be printed and suddenly just getting “I felt led to sow into your ministry” from almost everywhere I turn.
 
Going to NYSC Camp to market my book and getting fresh ideas on writers seminars, etc.
 
Getting alerts that blow me away when I think of it all… on how God funds even the littlest things that He tells me to do.
 
No, I didn’t get into the job I interviewed for, I didn’t have a 9-5 income but oh, I have experienced God’s provision in ways that I cannot even start to write about.
I cried and still cry when I think about how much GRACE God has poured out on me.
 
Meeting a High Court judge who “something” just tells “support that young lady”.
 
Having ideas for more books upon books as I pray and then getting alerts to fund the books even without me asking…
 
So what can I say about the year so far?
 
Yes, some dreams have been realized.
My NYSC book was published! Yay!
No, some dreams still haven’t been realized, lots of God’s promises still not in physical manifestation yet…
 
But there have been wilderness seasons…
Dry seasons…
Stay at home, write on the blog, write and edit my books, then mop the floor, read your Bible, pray and stay on your face before God kind of season…
Wondering if God is still with me kind of season…
Wondering why my life is different from everyone else’s…
Why am I being pruned by God so?
 
Ah, but then He always reassures me.
I am not alone.
He is with me.
He hasn’t forgotten me.
He is with me.
 
And that is the reassurance I have for the remaining part of the year.
 
And at the end of December, I KNOW certainly, I will have even much more testimonies to share of God’s goodness and also of a deeper relationship He has brought me into with Him as a result of all 2016 has being…
 
And so here again, I share the words I left Church with yesterday…
 
“I am saying Lord, that I chose to believe (again).”
 
The wind of change is blowing in… and I chose to believe AGAIN.
 
And because I have seen so much birthed out of staying on my face before you, there will I continue to be…
On my face before you. 
It doesn’t matter if it’s just tears that flow as I pour out my heart…
All that matters is that on my face before you, all is made right and there I will stay.
There’s no where else to go.
 
And so cheers to everything you promised for 2016 being kicked into full gear 🙂
 
PS: I expect that birthday gift I asked for from you to come in ways that will blow my mind away 🙂 
Birthday is just a month away you know? But I am sure you already know 🙂
*Waiting*
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