Day 30: Dami

Sigh… I’m usually a cheerful, happy go lucky person but this year to be honest, totally honest and not be my normal optimistic and cheery self has been, well, not exactly my favorite, putting it mildly.

I thank God for the miracle of life, small daily victories.
I broke my leg towards the end of last year and I didn’t think recovery would take this long. Well, at least, I’m no longer in a cast, no longer using crutches. I now walk with an elbow crutch. Like a walking stick with space for the elbow. I’m in constant pain and discomfort, I’m getting better every day. I hope by the time I write on Efe’s blog in December, I’ll be walking fully unaided.
I gained a whole lot of weight this year. Sitting at home, doing nothing but sleep, eat, laugh cry can really help in packing on the calories.
I got more than half way through to my savings goal, but in bouts of extreme unhappiness, I blasted it on a new phone, three new weaves and clothes.
I resumed work a few weeks back and every day that I go, I’m just miserable. Contrary to what my classmates know of me, I like my work. I don’t like that I can’t function like I used to and most of all, I hate the pity I get, the feeling of helplessness when I have to depend on people for a lot of things.
I picked up my guitar but Moyo is always distuning it and Tunrayo is forever struggling for it… *smile*
I’m still working on using my oven, sometime in the next one month, pictures will be posted everywhere.
My blog, sigh… I can still re-resurrect it.
My relationship with God is still blah… Sometimes, I hate Him, other times, I’m indifferent and other times, I’m just ashamed. Forgiveness for some of us is difficult to receive, but He makes all things beautiful in His time.
It’s not been all doom and gloom this year though. I have been angry, depressed, sad, intensely sad, but I’ve had rays of sunshine in my life.
My girls are the light of my life and as annoying as Moyo is, she’s my Orion. Motunrayo is just darling.
My husband and I get closer each day.
Visited my parents for a few weeks and that was awesome.
I started work again. Hopefully I should finish my house job in a few months.
I saw my best friend after almost two years of not seeing each other.
I bought a new phone and awesome weaves.
I challenged myself to do some really uncomfortable stuff and I came through. Really proud of myself.
I’m still scared of falling again, I’ve had some nasty panic attacks and one horrible health scare.
I hope to rediscover my joy this year, still got five months  to go. But most of all, I just want to walk again.
I’m grateful for life, because when there’s life, there’s hope.
God makes everything beautiful in His time.
Cheers to the rest of the year, may our latter days be better.
Dami
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