Day 30: Victor

I’ve always thought of myself as a lost boy. I’ve never wanted to grow up. Adulting always felt like a chore, full of rules and restrictions. Like I had to somehow squeeze myself into a mould that was much smaller than me. It’s always been easier to ignore my fears, compartmentalize my emotions and just dwell only in the moment; not worrying about what’s to come or what’s already past.

In the last few years however, I’ve been learning that it’s possible to live and grow outside of other people’s expectations and standards. To hold myself accountable to only the things that I truly believe in. I’m learning to question everything, even myself. To be at peace with myself.

This year I plan on doing a little bit more growing up and I’m hoping that I can:

– Learn how to analyze my emotions better and deal with things in the moment.
– Open up a bit more. Especially with my friends and family.
– Live honestly. Especially with myself.
– Share all of me with another person and not just the parts of me that I consider lovable.
– Start more projects. Chase more dreams. Even if it’s in the smallest ways. I want to write more, paint perhaps. Find my voice and maybe sing again.
– Finish more projects. Follow through on all that I’ve already begun.
– Manage stress better. Hoping this is the year I can find stick to my plans of living healthier.
– Make a ton of money.
– Be a better friend.
– Love more.

I’m hoping that being married to the love of my life is even better than I’ve dreamed of. I hope she’s always in love with me.


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