Dusk 27: Moyin

I’m still not exactly sure why I’m doing this. You see for a long time, I’ve believed that while we humans sit around making plans, the big guy up there just sits and laughs. I like to think that he laughs as in ‘if only you knew how much I had in store for you, you wouldn’t be planning so small’. Still I plan because that’s probably the only thing that makes sense about a new year. Oh happy new year y’all.

Moyin is one of my best buds. Love her to bits.

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I’m not here to talk about 2013, but I’ll say it was a year of growth and in 2014 I want to make use of that growth.

First on the list this year is that I want to have an encounter with God. My uncle always tells people when they ask him how he can believe in a God he doesn’t see that when he is full he doesn’t need anyone else to tell him that’s he’s full, it’s the same way with his relationship with God. He’s had so many encounters with God that no one needs to tell him God is real. Ah guess this one is a prayer point instead of a plan/ goal. God I want to see your glory in a special way this year.

Next, I would love to start my PhD this year. While I was cleaning out some stuff at home recently, I found a document from 8 years ago in which I had written my career goals. Top of the list was to acquire a PhD and work in academics. I don’t know why I allowed doubt creep in but I’m going back to my first love (really) this year.

I would also like to acquire some assets this year. Tie my money down now that I don’t have too many things demanding money from me.
Health wise, I’d love to make healthier choices and be more pro active about my mental health.
I want to be a better friend, sister, aunty, daughter, godmother and colleague this year. I want to say what I mean exactly how I mean it and why I mean it.

Finally, it’ll be a great to be able to say I’m someone’s partner sometime during this year. One of the tiny blessings of life is having someone to share the highs and the lows with.

With the permission of the Most High, these are mine.

Day 27: Nimi

Some people in this life are just… Fine! Gosh! I’m also really intrigued by the way this lady’s mind works. I would say I’d like to discover more of that except that would be taken entirely the wrong way so… I won’t say it… ( ._.)

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I’ve never pegged myself as the writing down hopes and dreams type of woman.  For work, definitely, when I was in school for studying without doubt it makes sense, but for life…never really thought about it. I just know what I want to happen and try to make it so.  Always figured there’s a certain vulnerability to writing it all, like it brings to light  (and the universe) how much I want it which increases the likelihood  of me not getting it which will hurt (so optimistic, aren’t I?). Plus it reminds me of the church of my youth…writing down what you want and praying on it. Speaking of church I guess that a good place to start (yes I can be a bit of a rambler when trying to get to something).

The church was part of the reason I actually sent the message I was up for writing this. I saw the blog post as I was getting ready for a church service (4th attendance of the year, whole other conversation), I smiled and wondered if I should put myself for it. Was still thinking about it when the teaching began and of course much of it centered on the New Year.  A lot of what was spoken about was ‘hope’ and ‘dreams’,  now that was a sign if I needed one.  I’m not a ‘signs’ person (I sound fun don’t I?), I consider myself a realist. I have optimistic moments and pessimistic moments but ultimately I stay grounded in realism.  So all hopes and dreams are always undercut in realism but for 2014 my philosophy is ‘what is the point of dreams if they don’t get to fly as high as they can’.  So the condensed version of some of mine

Facing my spirituality head on, away from the standard trappings of religion.  I am so far removed from who I was taught to be as a teenager it’s crazy to compare. To blindly follow stopped being me forever ago but the problem is that I stopped moving all together, I read different things and listen to different things but remained stagnant. It’s time to make a choice on the direction I want to go and I can’t lie, that is actually scary.  Things like this is when I think I may have that commitment issue folks talk about.

Write more, go for every writing opportunity available to me, improve, create variety, and put myself out there.  I already started this last year and I intend to do more this year. I always hesitate with this simply because what I have chosen as (most of) my writing subject isn’t exactly the wholesome stuff for the masses.  That has me wondering how I would be received in certain situations which is unlike me.  So the plan is to carry my life attitude into my writing, to carve out time to write more, to look seriously into self-publishing but in the meantime to blog more and study more. This is what I want to do, so I need to do it.

“Dear Body, you have served me incredibly well. I should treat you better”. That was the message to my body I had yesterday. Considering my propensity is inclined towards hedonism and decadence this can be a little difficult. However I focus on the me in 30 years and I imagine her cussing me for not making small improvements here and now that would make her life better. Vanity aside (I let the dream of six pack go, eba and ogbonno won that fight), I want to avoid the issues that my current elders are having by just having a little more care.

Be as good to those around me as they are to me. The last year or so has made me realise how lucky I have been with the people around me, family, friends, colleagues and even romantic entanglements. I have some of the most amazing people around and my hope is for better things for them, my desire to make life better for them every time. It all sounds very Pollyanna-ish, doesn’t it? That’s my optimism in play and it’s also the truth.

“Stop enjoying life and go get married” are the words of mummy. I’m sure she doesn’t mean enjoyment stops when marriage comes (although sometimes I do wonder when I see some folks), more like it’s time to settle down. And for a change I do agree, the idea appeals a little bit more, even though I worried that the fact I thoroughly enjoy my life right now may be a bit of a hindrance.  So I guess I’ll put it down as a hope; to be in a situation that will encourage that special one on one partnership.

To keep challenging myself to step out of my comfort zone. I chose today because it was going to be after my bungee jump and I was curious as to how I will feel after, if there was going to be some kind of deep and meaningful enlightenment sort of thing. I will say that it felt like the physical manifestation of taking an actual leap of faith and letting the fates do their thing.  It had me feeling like I can do anything and with that feeling, I will try to do everything…errr, maybe within reason, of course.

So there it is and much longer than I expected.  My hopes and dreams written down, the things I want put out there in the universe. I will now go and do my thing and try to make it happen. However it goes down, I intend to have a lot of fun on the way and I hope you do the same.

Dusk 26: Tushe

Tushe is another who has journeyed across far and distant lands and over many mountains and seas to the land of #30DaysOfHope. Say welcome…

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When I sent a mail to request for this date, it was with trepidation. Then, 0toxic replied in minutes saying I was in. My heart fluttered. Not because I do not know what I want my year to be like, but, because I’m a stoic. I never open up. But, I’m tired of that. I’ve hidden so many emotions in my life that I thought, what’s the worst that would happen if I do this?

Sorry about the preamble, now, to pay respects, did I hear you say this is another preamble? Shut up. ITK. I would like to firstly thank the management, my fellow nostalagians, Microsoft, and Glo network for this auspicious opportunity. Gigi-san, Vundie too, for drawing my attention to it, no lead, no salute.

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2014.

I would look boldly into this year but The past has been there all along, reminding us: This time, maybe, hopefully, against all odds, we will get it right.
I fear it would be inappropriate to speak about my desires for the year without a reference to the one that went by. No? Yes.

Synopsis – 2013 really was bland. Practically drifted through. Made few friends I can count them on one foot. Finished with NYSC, then everyone seemed interested in my life. Talmbout, “what are your plans for the future?” Usually, I just made up a joke and ran away. Not into the house of Tara abeg.
I applied for some jobs. Didn’t prepare adequately. Failed all of them. Like! Oh, except one. Which will feature in this year. Amen? Amen.

Moving on, my people, this new year Ehn! I know it would be awesome. Wait. Why? Let me expound further.

When the clock struck 12am, the Pastor of my church conveniently made it such that the choir (which I’m part of. Pause) was singing, so I couldn’t greet anybody happy new year and stuff. I didn’t even care. The year had started to a slow drag. Fast forward to the communion part of the service, I found myself with the lead microphone and leading the people to process out to the table. It felt as if God was telling me, “My nigga, you’re gonna take charge of this yearrrr”. And I was like, “Oshey, Baba.” or something like that. >_<

Without further ado. No Sade. My 2014 as I see it.

– It’s an opportunity for me to get closer to God. To really connect. I’ve been fighting some internal wars. I see the light ahead. Not sure if it’s a tunnel. But, I’m glad.

– Time for me to start a career. Remember that one test which I didn’t fail? Yes. The time is now.

In all honesty, I want money. You there with the judgy eyes. Yes, you. Keep quiet. It’s Will Roger that said “Too many people spend money they earned to buy things they don’t want, to impress people that they don’t like.” Doing that sounds silly but to be this silly you must have had enough of something to do the silly. Did I confuse you? Don’t be silly. That thing I would love to have a lot of this year – money. I might just rob a bank, commandeer a ship at sea or just kidnap a senator’s son, I just have to make that green this year.

– Time to face my responsibilities. To God. At home. In church. And I hope to write a lot more this year, the ending of last year saw me in a mini-drought. Thoughts flowing in. No words flowing out. Imagine the accumulation in my head. [Input – Output = Accumulation]
In the words of C. J. Cherryh, “It is perfectly okay to write garbage, as long as you edit brilliantly”. That right there’s the plan.

– I have this foreboding that it’s the year in which I would find myself. I kent wait. I just dey look.

– Go back to team Fit Fam. Right now, I can say I’ve spent a major part of my year on my bed. I’m not proud.

Lastly, as I conclude. Let me share this nugget: for all the things that might have happened in the past. Leave them there. They are history. Things that are history are just that- history. Let us focus on now. Let us focus on the future. Join me, as we settle into this period of renewed hopes.

Have a wonderful continuum of a dozen blissful months. Because saying “have a great year” is too mainstream.

#PizzOut

Day 26: Barida

Barida is back! 😀

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To be honest 2013 didn’t go exactly as planned, several disappointments plus didn’t meet most of my expectations but it wasn’t a bad year entirely. At least I’m thankful for life and good health for me, family and friends.

So wasn’t really sure of what to expect this year, but getting Ola’s mail about my post and reading the other posts on the 30 days of Hope reminded me that I too have every right to be hopeful even if things don’t always go according to plan.

So here’s mine…

This year already started well for me with a lot of responsibilities. I was given an opportunity where I have to manage someone’s business. I hope to give my best to it and not disappoint those that have the faith in me that I can handle it .

Also towards the end of last year, I needed to end some kind of meaningless relationships with some so called friends. I call them parasites because they add nothing to your life but rather try to take so much from you. Usually, I don’t have a problem cutting people off my life, so that was the easy part… I just hope to stick with the script.

Also I’m not very patient and I’m short tempered… Working on that.

Giving out more love, happiness, kindness to those around me that deserve it. Don’t usually do that often since I don’t consider myself mushy but hey! I’m starting with the little things 🙂 Hoping that changes the impression that I’m stiff or unappreciative.

And finally My Heavenly Father, He’s my all and I’m definitely finishing with Him. Phil: 4:13 already says it all .

@Barida_F

Dusk 25: Rachel

I truly admire what Rachel has done with her entry. She has gone beyond the realm of hope and charged right into a place of faith. Beautifully executed move…

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2014 was a great year…. It was lovely, it was good, great and joyful things happened. you see 2013 was my year of growth, little did I know that God had just started with me.

So 2014, God BLEW MY MIND!!! I have always wanted to travel at least outside Lagos for starters, and I did that in 2014. I reconnected with my cousin and I went to Enugu, neat, peaceful city. I saw Makuochukwu, Chudy and met new people. I gave ‘okpa’ a chance again, (I still don’t like it lol). I also travelled to Osun state, Port Harcourt and my state, Delta state (for the first time ever).

I improved on my “communication skills” and “social skills”,  at least I’m not “afraid” of meeting people or knowing what to say when I meet them. I still keep to myself but not as bad as 2013. I think I even ‘gathered liver’ to speak with Le crush…. lol.

Good grades, various testimonies from the family, the fellowship, improved in all aspects. Exceedingly abundantly above what I ask or think is what He promised…..

2014 was a great year!! A year of greater glory indeed.

And if we know that He hears us whatever we ask, we know that we have the request that we asked of Him – 1John 5:15

Hope is the ability to hear the melody of the future, faith is the courage to dance to it today. -Unknown

Day 25: Tunrayo

This one I found really, really interesting.

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I don’t like sharwarma.

Maybe I’ll give it another shot this year.

And pizza too.

And oatmeal… Uhh.. maybe not.

Now, I really don’t know why my genius mind thought it was necessary to share that bit of information with you, but I’ve already, so…

Moving on.

You know those pictures where you’re supposed to look for a particular object? Like all those ‘RT when you find it’ pictures?

My life was like that.

Until very recently, I had a peripheral vision of what I thought I was supposed to do (or be doing) with my life. I had the picture, I just didn’t find the object.

Honestly, it’s pretty easy just living life as it comes, not setting any specific targets or goals. The only problem with that plan is you end up very empty, desperately unhappy and constantly searching for more. A search that may or may not yield any results depending on your attitude.

About the end of 2013, I tried to answer a question that strayed on to my TL. ‘Are you happy’? I did not like the answer. I realized that the basic things that defined my happiness just weren’t in place. I decided there and then to change things for myself. I just went to God and we had a serious conversation.

Now I’ve new found hope. I have a sense of direction. And I have peace. I’m calm in the core of my being, and somehow I’m just certain things will work out perfectly. I don’t think I’ve experienced this thing I’m feeling ever. This absolute solemnity that has overtaken my heart and mind. I’m glad. I’m hopeful. I’m expectant. Some how I have the feeling that there will be rough times, but I’m also certain that I’ll pull through.

I’m dedicating this year to being a better person, (Daughter, Friend, Sister). Heaven knows my family and friends deserve my absolute best. I plan to learn handiwork, start a business, and make plenty money. I’m taking my health very seriously as well, cutting down on junk food, staying in shape etc. I’m going for NYSC in june (finally!) And after waiting a year and a half, I can’t honestly say I’m excited. However, I plan to make the most of the period. I’d like to join/ work with an NGO this year (suggestions will be appreciated). I hope to finally overcome my fear of driving and attain gangster status like my parents and brother.

I want to be happy. Yes, its a conscious decision, I’m cutting any and all sources of unhappiness away and concentrating on my joy. I probably sound selfish but *insert shrug here*

Yes, I MUST kiss under the rain, and in the cinema too. I MUST.

Flawless Victory.

That’s the theme I’m working with this year.

Welcome 2014, the best of me is ready to begin.

Side Note: This very special girl, PreciousHeart, is a year older today. I picked this date because of her. Do say a prayer for her. She has made my life beautiful. I love you Precious. I love you, okay?

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Many Happy Returns to PreciousHeart.

So Tunrayo, you want to kiss under the rain, eh? And in the cinema, abi? Should we help you find volunteers? 😉

Dusk 24: Dammy

2013 was a great year for me, but on critical review I realized that it was one in which I underutilized my potentials. I was priviledged that the results I got from the year were in multiples of my efforts. As such 2014 should serve to correct most of the non-chalance of 2013.

In 2014 the long stretch of this journey called medical school should come to an end finally (tentatively 26th December 2014 so long doctors don’t decide to embark on any strike). As such, a lot of my activities this year would be based on that premise that it’s my last year as a medical student and as an undergraduate.

Now on to the main point, my aspirations for 2014 go as follows:

– To reinforce my relationship with God and come to that point of total dependence on God in spite of my seeming abilities to handle myself

– To successfully conclude my medical journey picking basic skills needed for medical practice and perform well in my exams

– To read 12 non-academic books(about 8 carried over from last year) this year

– To improve on my writing skills (started blogging last year) and creativity, hence a 31-day challenge in March> you are all welcome to come and have a good read.

– To improve on my photography skills; keep taking the shots #10,000shots.

– To learn how to dance; my dancing is so arrhythmic and uncoordinated

– To improve on my interpersonal relationships this year

– Finally, to stay single throughout this year

I hope to come back next year and make plans for my first year as a doctor. Very importantly, happy birthday to my biggest brother Ogunsina Olusegun, love you so much.

Ogunsina Oluwadamilola

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Lol. I’m so tripped. After ‘finding/building a relationship with God’, the next most common thing to feature on folks’ agenda for the year is ‘finding love’. It’s such a trip to see someone resolve to remain single all year. Dammy must be a highly sought after hot kek. Hehe.

Day 24: Alex

There’s something enthralling about Alex’ handle. I still remember that first dm I sent her… “I’m going to enjoy following you.”I don’t remember what I was high on that day but so far, it’s held true. And no, I wasn’t setting P -__-

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2013 , had its ups and downs. I experienced lots of disappointments and heart wrenching situations. I also got to meet lots of people who made me see how little my problems were, and taught me to be grateful for life. Yes, I learned lessons, albeit the hard way, that have made me stronger today.

There’re a lot of things I would love this year to hold for me.

Most importantly being me reaching a new level with God. Oui, it’s cliche, because everyone says that at the beginning of every year, but this time, I have decided to let Him use me in whatever way he chooses to.

I just got a job in sales, a totally different field for me. I haveno experience whatsoever. I was initially scared but after talking to a few people and praying about it too, I think I’m ready to man up 🙂

I’m also gonna be writing 2 sets of exams in June and December, towards being chartered (we accountants never stop learning. *weeps*). Those have to be passed, with me having little or no time to myself. God dey.

I was gonna start a masters program this year, but I’m thinking that’s not gonna happen anymore. I’ll have to make do with buying the form later this year. That’s a step, right?

Acquiring skills also has to be a major achievementthis year. I want to learn to speak French,  sew and bake. Get project management certified. I even still haven’t learned to drive. It’s a shame, I know.

I need to learn to be a better friend and girlfriend (some people are gonna be asking me questions after this). I think I try but I’m not sure I do enough. Communication is key and maybe I’m lacking in that area. Learning to give my all is going to be difficult but I’m willing to try.

I think 2014 is off to a great start, and I know there’s a lot more to experience. So I’m just going to try to live in the moment. Be less uptight. Laugh more often. Cry when I need to… I can’t be strong all the time. Hang out, chill with friends. Catch a movie. Take amazing photos. Love with all of me. Read more. Take my job seriously and be awesome.

I only hope I live to see the end.

Amen.

Dusk 23: Nathalie

Nathalie is back. Nathalie with her beautiful name. Today seems to be a day of beautiful names.

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The world was lost in electro-house right now in my room and I am feeling thankful for my entire existence. Writing has increased for me this year like I had hoped this time last year when I wrote last for the blog. Love didn’t really work for me last year. But my heart is strong. Music pre-release reviews were encouraging within and outside Nigeria in 2013. I look forward to sharing so much from within with all of you.
I will share a secret. This will take me 12 minutes to draft. I had believed I was up tomorrow. Sigh. Sorry guys. I wanted to share a personal story with you this year. But maybe heaven wanted me to do this instead.

Last year also, I learnt that once you can write a story in bits, you are healing. That Bigfoot_micworx is an amazing musician. (Mixing is music too. 🙂 That nothing feels better than the joy you feel irrespective of the storms of life.

That when you love with all your heart it really doesn’t mean that you won’t get to cry over it; but better things await those who are not bitter about their loss. That death is sometimes beautiful. Death to the flesh. Life to the spirit. And I discovered what I want to do till I can’t do it anymore- smile.

The following things I shall do in 2014:

FOCUS.
LOVE (the Lord my God with all my heart)
Write.
Dream.
Tell my stories.
And again, LOVE.
With all my heart,

@da_sweetthin

Day 23: Iengemdoo

Ladies and gentlemen, we have our second (sorta) anonymous entry. Wait, does my announcing it like that sorta defeat the purpose? :s Well sha, Iengemdoo (are you as tripped as I am that that’s not a made up name?) shares how she came to also feature on #30DaysOfHope so I’ll just leave her to it…

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“God wants to take the seemingly mundane messy threads of your life to weave something beautiful”

I read this a few days ago and I repeated it out loud to myself like a mantra. I knew without a shadow of doubt that 2014 would find me in better spirits.

You see 2013 was a year of finding myself. I had married and moved to a town I had never lived in before, I was also adjusting to my 24 hour job of being a Mother.  I asked myself a thousand questions. Did I want to be a stay at home Mom? Did I want to throw myself into my career and let someone else raise my child? Did I have a head for business? And if yes, what business would be profitable and even more importantly, would I enjoy doing it? These were the pertinent questions that rummaged through my mind endlessly.

On some days, I’m reminded that I am a trained Lawyer. I even registered my own Law Firm. However I realized to my delight that I rather enjoyed the corporate aspect of Law, maybe even property Law. I was by no means a litigation Lawyer. So what on earth was I going to do with myself?  I used to be an ardent writer, I would write and mail to numerous magazines for a small fee back in the day. I wrote articles for my University Law journal as well. So what happened to that girl???

And then I started baking. Yes. From watching “the great British Bake off” to “Cake boss “to  “Masterchef Australia”, my interest was piqued. At first I baked “test runs” for my husband. I found he wasn’t a very good lab rat as he always ate all my samples with a smile (Bless his heart) . So I moved to my neighbors… The more I baked, the happier I was.

Long story short, I got my first order during Christmas. I was stunned. From a casual hobby to being paid for it overwhelmed me…
I’ve also started writing again. I saw a tweet from a dear friend retweeting “0toxic ” (whom I wasn’t even following at the time) about this “30 days of Hope” project and I immediately knew I wanted to say something. And so I have. And I won’t stop.

In 2014, I’ve come into my own, I’ve made peace with my choices and I know that I want to continue to challenge myself with different tasks known and unknown to me this year. With God helping me, I want to fulfill my dreams one day at time.

Now, that’s my story of hope. Sometimes when you think you’ve run out of options, an answer comes out of nowhere as if to say, hold on, your miracle is on the way…

Do I love being a wife and mom? Most definitely. My heart expands with so much joy when I think of my two Men. It is challenging, but oh so rewarding. Do I enjoy writing? Absolutely. Do I want to bake for the rest of my life? Yes. Maybe not commercially but I do know now that everything has it’s season and I’ve learned to enjoy where I’m at while waiting for where I want to be.

“I am learning everyday to allow the space between where I am and where I want to be to inspire me and not terrify me” Tracee Ellis Ross.

Iengemdoo.