Announcing: 30 Days Hopeful 2018

30DaysHopeful-18

I feel a bit like a fraud. The thread below explains why.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So yeah, feel free to sign up if you’re interested in entering for the project this year. I realise this is very last minute and I’ll be surprised if we have posts everyday like previous editions but I’ve accepted that this is entirely due to my shortcomings and I’m committed to making what improvements I can as we go along and then revamp for the future.

Speaking of improvements, the awesome @jyte12 saw my tweets above and has graciously offered assistance, and considering her background as an editor, her help is so welcome and highly appreciated. We’re still in the process of figuring out in what form that assistance is going to come but one part of the deal I’ve already (reluctantly) agreed to is that I must put at least six posts on here from February to December last year. I don’t know how I’m going to do that considering my words have for the most part gone and flown away… but it’ll happen, so help me God. My word is my bond.

That said. Below is the schedule for the project. It will be updated as others sign up and are confirmed. So what date do you want?

Day 1 – Toxic
Day 2 –
Day 3 –
Day 4 –
Day 5 –
Day 6 –
Day 7 –
Day 8 – @09_Eleven | @juachiobi
Day 9 –
Day 10 – @LajiDwayem
Day 11 –
Day 12 –
Day 13 – Chuma
Day 14 – @9elumi
Day 15 – @theVunderkind
Day 16 – @iskminov
Day 17 – @Y1nka_XVII
Day 18 – @TamaraPosibi | @tomboxe
Day 19 – @ameenas_musings
Day 20 – @j_divaaa
Day 21 – Yevandy
Day 22 –@yve_olution
Day 23 – Bukola
Day 24 – @ineffablewaters
Day 25 – @motvnrayo_
Day 26 – Lolia | Demisola
Day 27 – @Akwybombom
Day 28 – @daminozide | @hrhobj
Day 29 – @janiebanks
Day 30 – @BNKYPHNX | @Ogenna

Day 30: Victor

I’ve always thought of myself as a lost boy. I’ve never wanted to grow up. Adulting always felt like a chore, full of rules and restrictions. Like I had to somehow squeeze myself into a mould that was much smaller than me. It’s always been easier to ignore my fears, compartmentalize my emotions and just dwell only in the moment; not worrying about what’s to come or what’s already past.

In the last few years however, I’ve been learning that it’s possible to live and grow outside of other people’s expectations and standards. To hold myself accountable to only the things that I truly believe in. I’m learning to question everything, even myself. To be at peace with myself.

This year I plan on doing a little bit more growing up and I’m hoping that I can:

– Learn how to analyze my emotions better and deal with things in the moment.
– Open up a bit more. Especially with my friends and family.
– Live honestly. Especially with myself.
– Share all of me with another person and not just the parts of me that I consider lovable.
– Start more projects. Chase more dreams. Even if it’s in the smallest ways. I want to write more, paint perhaps. Find my voice and maybe sing again.
– Finish more projects. Follow through on all that I’ve already begun.
– Manage stress better. Hoping this is the year I can find stick to my plans of living healthier.
– Make a ton of money.
– Be a better friend.
– Love more.

I’m hoping that being married to the love of my life is even better than I’ve dreamed of. I hope she’s always in love with me.

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Day 29: Nade

I have always lived a care-free life; as long as my belly is satisfied and I’m happy, life is good. Lately, I have begun to wonder whether there was more, because I think there should be more.

I want answers in 2017.

Still trying to find out the relationships between fate/predestination, God’s plan and man’s action. Hopefully, 2017 is when I get to have a better and deeper revelation.

In my quest for vision/purpose/ revelation, I hope to be deliberate and have fun.

I want to be happy. I want to have the time of my life in all that concern me.

And no matter what I find out about existence and purpose, these are what I expect at the end of 2017:

  1. I want to have gotten a reason for waking each morning. Something better than ‘…because it is another day to have the time of my life and eat good food’ (But what if that is the reason for my existence?)
  2. I want to have developed a closer and consistent walk with God; to be able to hear him speak and be sure of it. I want to know where I stand with him and why I walk with him. Something besides my background and stories I have been told.
  3. I want to have gotten promoted at work. Which means passing both written and oral exams; having my license endorsed and obtaining my coveted authorisation. I envision a more skilful me, who works efficiently with minimal supervision.
  4. I want to have built an investment portfolio- procured stocks and shares, dived into mutual funds, landed properties etc. I want to have started a side gig reeling in as much as my 9-5 job.
  5. I want to have gotten my 6 packs/ rock hard solid abs. I picture a stronger, yet more flexible me.
  6. I want to have surpassed my goal of reading 100 books in the year.
  7. I see a more emotionally balanced, organised me. One who is patient, and less prone to anger/meanness. I have reduced my mean sarcasm, am less impulsive, and really do like people now – even kids- and I can maintain friendships without becoming bored at a finger snap. 

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Day 29: Coco

I feel a bit awkward because I signed up for this hoping I would feel at least a bit more hopeful about 2017 than I did at the time. And now, I can’t really say that I do…

I mean, there’s always that “things will get better” bit of hope we always seem to have in reserve, but it pains me to say I’m almost all out.

I had hoped I would start this year by moving into my own place; that didn’t happen. I hoped for a sign that my subscription box could make it passed the phase of being a great idea; none came. I hoped I wouldn’t have to start the year making tough decisions; here I am.

I feel like i’m going through a quarter life crisis, but I also feel like that would be a cop out. There’s definitely a lot going on that I need to sort out. Blaming it on some existential crisis is definitely easier than admitting I am where I am now as a result of my own decisions.

Mhen, i’ve made some mistakes. I’m working on fixing them. And while i’m sorting all of this out, i’m forcing myself to learn a few things

– It’s okay to make mistakes. At the same time, it’s important not to dwell on those mistakes; Gotta learn what I need to and move on.
– It’s okay to fail. As much as it hurts, there are lessons there too,
– Sharing my problems won’t kill me. Lol. Opening up myself a little bit more to be able to go to people when I need help could cause more good than harm.
– Stop making assumptions based off my own character and thoughts.

For the past couple of days, my mood has been so sour, and i’ve been feeling a lot of regret. Ugh. I hate to regret stuff. It makes me feel ungrateful. Which is an even worse feeling than the spite i’very been lowkey building up. God forbid I end up bitter.

I’ve decided I need a break, and i’m going to take one; to re-plan, re-build, re-strategise. I need some time away from the things that “trigger” me. I am kind of hopeful I will come back better. Kind of.

At some point this year, I want to be able to do the things I want to do without worrying about things like time and money. I want to let myself love and be loved. I want to build a ladder and touch my sky..

I may be a bit too reliant on my support system to make this happen, but that’s what they’re here for innit?

This happiness thing, I will catch it.

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Day 29: Fifi

O’biageli, O’biana galu
Isi kponku
Something something….

My family sang this song repeatedly to me as a child because I was lazy. Not lazy, I could do stuff, I just really preferred not to. Even though Obiageli is not my name, I was serenaded with songs of how I was an Obiageli – a child who came to enjoy and not one who came to work. I was teased constantly about my epic reluctance to involve myself in activities that required me moving away from a book I was reading or a TV show I was watching. My mother constantly told stories of future me and how I would have house helps in charge of every chore. I think you were describing Executive Assistants, Mother.

Then came adulting. Killer of dreams. Opener of eyes and in some cases, yansh.  But my spiral to the bottom came long before adulting. My own silver spoon just went rusty. No fault of mine, my personal maintenance officer went to the great beyond without leaving a letter of resignation and left my spoon to decay. Thanks Daddy.

I learnt the hard way that survival was up to me. Get to the grind. Hustle and hustle hard. I Obiageli’d no more. Yes, I just used it as a verb.

Fast forward from the babble. Future me, sans Executive Assistants.

2017 started on a high note.  On the 2nd of January, one of my dreams came true. RETREAT – A TV mini-series that I created with TV Guru Victor Sanchez Aghahowa hit the screens. Coincidentally, the last two episodes are on tonight – the 29th of January, 2017 on DSTV 151 at 6 pm, just before Big Brother Naija (shameless plug). Please watch. Selah.

One would think starting the year off like that would make me full of bubbles and candy and floating clouds, right? Wrong. Maybe I am just greedy. Or a girl with too many dreams, dreams so big I panic. Hope so huge I am actually besieged by panic attacks. The higher you go, the harder you fall and things resembling chaos and carnage and destruction ensue– exactly in that order.

For some reason I am still trying to process, I find myself at the helm of a production company that has to create material this year for random strangers to critic. Why do I do these things to myself? People have been teasing me about directing stuff for the screen so the plan is to produce and direct three short films and a web series and also start my book series for kids – with hopes of turning it into an animated TV show.  Just typing this is giving me heart palpitations.

I started a Food Bank project three years ago and this year, it is a fully registered NGO. More cause for me to worry. I sit in meetings with people talking about getting food trucks and mobilizing soup kitchens and possible half way homes for the homeless based on proposals that I put forward and I am terrified.

There is a business plan I have been sitting on since I was 16 and I have been waiting for the right time to dust the cobwebs and pick it up. I don’t know if it is this year, still waiting for direction. But there is another I have to do this year but I have absolutely no mobilization money. With the economic situation right about now, one wonders if this is the right time to venture into business.

Travel. Ugh. Every year since this started, I put that down but never do it. Maybe this is the year. Learn to ride my bike. Learn to Swim. Lose weight and keep it off.

Obiageli ‘Biagelis no more.

“Chasing her own version of the fairytale ending….This is what joy looks like to a woman with genius “
– Shonda Rhimes

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Day 28: Damilola

Hey 2017,

I know you can tell how hard I need you to go well as you know that 2016 was kind of full of disappointment and tears though God still held my hands through it all and reminded me of his love continually. Through the disappointment and tears I did start my PhD and got to meet wonderful people so I am grateful.

So far, I can tell you are a better person than 2016. I already get to do some work for a NGO I really admire with people with way more experience that I have, get to be a part of a wonderful team of people doing something I really admire.

You would be the year I win the scholarship I have applied for twice already but did not get.

You would be the year I shall begin the grand launch into research and lecturing.

You would be the year I would volunteer more and funds won’t stop (as per 2017, 7 digits account balance….lol).

You would be the year I shall read more books than I did last year. “Shalla” to @TheReadClub.

You would make me finally have trust without borders in GOD.

You would be the one who would help me stop getting intimidated by the awesome writers I know and letting my writings leave my book.

You would mark the beginning of my travel stories.

You would let my business ideas be birthed.

You would be the year where I shall get spent helping people and contributing my quota to helping this nation.

You would make the fact that I am capable sink in.

You would be the year I hold on to the relationships that matter and people who have been there for me.

I want to say that you would let me put so much attention to my hair but we both know kolewerk.

I am also grateful to be able to do this. Thank you Olatoxic

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Day 28: Avril

EXCUSE: SCHOOLING.

A few days ago, I put on my BBM that 2017 was going to be lit and I was deluged with so many messages. People were curious especially with this recession that brought overnight bag and has refused to leave.

Anyways, I had three major goals I wanted to achieve this year –because a wise man once told me having too many goals is unhealthy— and I’ve already achieved one of them. I was going to sweat and spent late nights trying to achieve it but God is too good. This goal is top secret however. I’ll reveal it later in the year.

Goal 2: Writing. 

I know I say it every year… and each year, I barely write (see excuse above) but I’ve finally graduated and I’ve written more this year than the past two years combined. So, I’m taking it seriously. I plan to reopen my blog and post frequently. I’m also planning to enter writing competitions even if it is to mark attendance.

Goal 3: Reading. 

I’ve not been reading as much as I used to (see excuse above) and I feel bad about that. I really hope to read at least 50 books this year. I also want to start reading fiction again, just because. Knowing myself, I just need to finish one book and I won’t be able to stop reading. But how to get myself to finish that one book is the wahala. I’m definitely committed to this goal however, so I should see some progress soon.

Others:

My relationship with God… is much better. I finally have time for Him (see excuse above). I hope to finally find balance between my light and my darkness. This is my theme for the year: Balance. I don’t need happiness, just balance.

My career… has started off great. I recently started interning at this awesome company (Name withheld because they’ll come to my house to kill me if I tell. LOL. Not really.). Being a professional, organized, serious company, the employees initially seemed overambitious and empty (the working hours are terrible) and I made me promise myself that I would retain my humanity in this brutal corporate world. However, over the past month, I’ve seen a different side of my co-workers; a side that shows them as mothers, fathers, brothers, daughters, friends… humans… not the corporate zombies they are pretending to be. I don’t know why I just typed this paragraph but I hope to have this career thing firmly figured out by the end of this year.

My health… has to be taken seriously. All these mysterious momentary aches have to stop. I want to take my diet seriously, exercise regularly and go for a medical check-up.

My significant other… has to be one of the most dedicated people I have ever met. I’m not looking to get married anytime soon –despite it being the first prayer point I hear from family members and my friends enjoy frequently questioning me about it. However, I want to learn more about this relationship thing and basically be Girlfriend of the Year (which I already am, anyway).

My tribe… has to grow. I want to learn to appreciate people even when their love is not as intense as mine. I want to love more, give more, be more. I hope to have a female bestie one day. Maybe that day will finally come this year.

Happy Chinese New Year, people.

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Day 27: Tayo

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In 2016, I learnt how to fail, I learnt that my lowest points were the only way I could strive for and appreciate my high points. Now, I am no longer scared of failure, I am ready for 2017 risks because fail/win I will definitely learn something new.

Writing this post is one of my 2017 risks, I have been following #30DaysofHope for a while but this is the first time I am ever participating. I even almost chickened out and ended up sending in a late post (Thank you for the reminder and follow-up, Toxic)

Career

I am quite the job hopper, I don’t believe in staying in a job where I am not learning and I’m unappreciated (maybe linked to my love for school…lol) and God has been faithful to me with my job whims.

I started a new job with the new year, so far so good it seems like my dream job cos for the first time in a very long time, I am working where I know I am contributing to the company’s growth and gaining knowledge on a daily basis. In less than 3 weeks, I am more confident of my programming skills and I overall feel like this is the year that my career gets on MY right track.

By the end of the year, I hope to have matured into a badass software developer and contribute to various development communities by putting up a couple of side projects (the goal is 3). I hope to be able to mentor young girls on a career in IT; yes, everyone says this but speaking from my experience *in Skepta’s voice* We need some more girls in here!

Travel

If you know anything about me, you will know I love to travel. I like to visit at least two new places every year, I like to create a new experience, I like to explore both local and international attractions and I can use my last money to plan a trip because “WTF not?”. With enabling friends like Simi, there is no way tempting travel opportunities will not show up. She’s my wanderlust trigger!!! You can read some of our travel experiences at EatTechTravel.

My 2017 Travel Goals

  • Yankari Game Reserve
  • US
  • Grenada
  • Ake Festival – Take 2!!!

You can send me a message if you are interested in any of these trips cos group travels reduces travel cost.

BCAN

Since 2011, I have been building a support community for people with Breast Cancer focusing on Abuja. I have met a lot of amazing people over the years and I am so grateful for my support system especially Dolapo. She will drop everything to get on my projects even when things get frustrating, she’s been there to guide me through it.

At beginning of the year, I got some bad news that our first BCAN patient passed away after 3 years of battling with breast cancer. I refused to let the news kill my spirit and instead, I got more reenergized to take bigger steps in 2017, I plan to collaborate with more medical communities and individuals to provide impactful support to Breast Cancer patients.

If you need more information on how you can get involved, just send me an email via bcanawareness@gmail.com or reach me through twitter (@bcanawareness or @tayomadein)

Personal 

I have to expand my physical activities cos my job is not a very active one, so this year I am conquering swimming in the first quarter. I am taking swimming lessons with my baby sister, that way, giving up will trigger my Agbaya senses…lol!

The biggest risk I am taking in my personal life is taking a chance to fall in love again. I have had my walls up for the longest and I finally met someone who makes it easy not to have walls. I cannot believe these words I am typing, I never saw myself as someone that would ever take love shenanigans serious but so far so good, it has been worth it.

I am at the point where I do not mind if it lasts forever or just for a short while, I plan to enjoy these feelings to the fullest and not limit my emotional and physical experiences because of fear of failing.

I am thankful for the opportunity to write all these down at the beginning of the year and sharing it on here will have me accountable to you guys and myself by the end of the year!!!

Day 27: Oyinkan

I’ve always struggled with these…making resolutions, writing down goals? Not my cup of tea; I didn’t think I could handle that kind of pressure, that vulnerability that comes with failure; I was vulnerable enough as it was. However, I did have them in my head, which was fine right?

2016 for me could be best described as a paradox. One minute, I’m “living my life like it’s golden” (and there were some pretty golden moments) and the next? I didn’t think I could “adult”.

On the one hand, I became more aware of myself, my strengths and weaknesses, and my finances. My quiet time with God although not as strong as it should be yet, was way better than it was in 2015 (nearly lost my faith then), worked on a number of projects (personally and otherwise) that turned out pretty great; on the other hand, I stopped doing the things I loved to do, I’d make plans and then cancel at the last minute just because…, keeping in touch with friends and even family was hard; I blamed it on good ol’ fatigue from working long hours (which was not entirely a fib) but in reality? I just couldn’t be bothered. My life was full and yet…

Towards the end of year however, I repented of my somewhat ungrateful heart.

2017 feels like a brand new canvass just waiting for me to work on (Picasso style) and I hope to do just that in the following ways-

Personal Development

I want to soak in as much knowledge as I can. I hope to take one or two professional courses; started some online classes earlier in 2016 but I got lazy plus my laptop packed up (scratch that, it was more laziness than anything else). Call me old school but I’d rather attend physical classes than sit in front of a screen (plus Instagram and the rest will not let someone be great). Fortunately I work with a company that provides access to such trainings, the alternative, is to take advantage of the discounts available to corps members (which I’m not…yet).

I’m also looking forward to attending a couple of events this year because I find there’s this energy  in the space of like-minded individuals looking to learn.

There are two projects I’m excited to be working on and can’t wait to see grow.

I will strive to be persistent, to learn from my mistakes, and listen more. (Proverbs 3:13: Blessed are those who find wisdom, those who gain understanding)

Overcoming Vehophobia

The struggle no be today. I’m not quite sure if it’s the thought of driving itself or driving on Lagos roads (which is quite traumatic if you ask me) that bothers me but I’ve stubbornly refused to learn how. Let’s change that shall we? (II Timothy 1:7-For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.)

Travel

Before life took over, I’d planned to travel to at least half the states in the country; I think I stopped at state number 8 and even then, I didn’t really get the chance to explore much, it was more work travel than anything. There are quite a number of opportunities to visit a couple of places, hopefully I will take Nike’s advice and Just Do It. (Exodus 13:21-The LORD was going before them in a pillar of cloud by day to lead them on the way, and in a pillar of fire by night to give them light, that they might travel by day and by night.)

Personal Finance Management

I think 2016 was the year I became really serious about my finances (because recession maybe?). Mind you, I do not consider myself a spendthrift but then again so many things I want. I do know that I’ve begun to take account of every penny I spend, save and invest. All I need to work on now is CONSISTENCY especially when a pair of shoes or an outfit I’ve been lusting after is on sale. (Proverbs 21:20-There is treasure to be desired and oil in the dwelling of the wise; but a foolish man spendeth it up.)

Volunteer More

I work with this super amazing organization called Slum2School. Again, before my dear friend, Life took over; every other weekday or weekend was spent ‘serving’. I miss that…a lot. I intend to pick up where I left off and not just with Slum2School but also get involved with whatever outreach or project that’s focused on psycho-social or socio-economic support.(Proverbs 3:27-Withhold not good from them to whom it is due when it is in the power of thine hand to do it.)

Focus on my Relationships

I don’t mean to brag but my support system is 100. The goal is to create as many moments and memories as I possibly can with the people in my life, to let go of things I’ve no control over & to build meaningful & lasting relationships. (1 Thessalonians 5:11-Wherefore comfort yourselves together and edify one another even as also ye do.)

Worry Less

Who worry epp? (Philippians 4:6-7-Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus)

The plan really is to get through the year with a tinge of pizazz, a truckload of prayers and a lot of humor. Let’s go 2017!

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Day 26: Motunrayo

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*nods sagely*

So what I’m doing basically this year is filling myself up so completely that I overflow with goodness.

I’m first of all emptying myself of all the toxicity and anger and second guessing and bitterness and dissatisfaction and sadness.

And I’m filling up with:

WORK

Ecclesiastes 9 v10:

‘Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might….’

Keeping busy keeps me sane. So whatever my hands find to do. Whatever my mind can conceive, I will bring to life with my hands. I have already volunteered for two projects this year, and it’s only the first month. And I am looking for more to take on. If you have any project and you need help on your team, reach me please. My email address is mayoakwe@gmail.com.

LOVE

1st Corinthians 13:1

‘If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not []love [for others growing out of God’s love for me], then I have become only a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal [just an annoying distraction]…’

I actually have so much love to give its stunning. I will no longer hold back from loving purely. Every human who comes in contact with me will experience a large chunk of it.  E go be like party pack. You get some love, they get some love, everybody gets some love!

POSITIVITY

Proverbs 17:22

‘A happy heart is good medicine and a joyful mind causes healing,
But a broken spirit dries up the bones’

No more negatives. All that zero to hundred stuff my mind does has to be put in check this year.

This year, everything is bright and beautiful. Everything is awesome and going well. No matter the circumstances, I will only see goodness. In people, in situations, in life.

GOD

John 14:26 

“But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.”

The last part of last year was an amazing revelation for me: The Holy Spirit is my friend. He literally came through for me EVERY TIME. Even on the most mundane, ridiculous issues. He came through as a friend, a teacher and a helper. I want me more of that this year.

FAMILY

Psalm 103:17

‘But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD’s love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children’s children’

This is the year that I will spoil my family. With all of me and all of my resources. This is the year I will do way better with picking up calls and replying texts (even the annoying BC messages). This is the year I stop saying I’m broke and actually just spend on my folks.

Last year, I registered and prepared for and sat an examination in 3 weeks that other people did in 6 months. Aspa, Motunrayo, the queen of playing herself. When I see the results and I pass, I’m dressing up in a fancy dress and taking myself out to a fancy dinner in a fancy restaurant. If all goes well, I should write another one this year.

Happy 2017 everyone!! May you never have a better last year!!