Day 22: Demisola

This year started on a good note. Very very good note. First couple of days were super awesome. I was in my feels. I felt nothing could stop me.

Fast-forward.
I’m tired. A consultant asked me today if I was okay because I looked ‘dead’. She asked me to slow it down a bit and all I could think was “Yeah right. Tell me that when you announce in class tomorrow that we are having a test”. I’m actually fatigued. And there’s no public holiday till Easter. My brothers and sisters e be like sey I wan mudd. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
One of my registrar friends told me when this session started that he had been talking with his colleagues and they all went on about how ‘good’ I was. Lol. Me. Good. Chairperson Everlasting Faffers association? Chief Pammist and perpetual crash reader? If you say so o. If you say so. So he made a bet with me. Challenged me to graduate with swag; ‘Best graduating student’. Let me not lie, I laughed my ass off because ‘looooooooool’. But then I thought to myself, “Why the hell not? Yes, you hate med school and everything it stands for, but you’re not even bad at all. All those comments from your patients and lecturers are not just springing  up from nowhere, are they? Very unlikely it happens but would it hurt to try? Even if it’s just one distinction in one random course (which really is more feasible).”  So that’s my number one goal for this year it seems. Only a couple of months to see if my faffing (autocorrect changed that to gagging L.O.L) would get the better of me. (Very likely I have a test tomorrow morning but I’m here eating hindomie and blanket hegg with a lirru bid of spicy asun. First class behavior.)
1. SWAGGED OUT GRADUATION
2. I started a new business last year and boy oh boy… It’s been challenging, but I cannot deny that God that started it with me has great plans. The growth has been shocking. But of course, there’s still room for more.
Please who wants to invest in me?  I have mad plans sugbon eez like a lirru bid of more money is needed. Epp me. Maybe it’s you God is planning to use. Don’t be shy. Please.
(Please visit @case_notes_ on Instagram to see what I do! Custom made phone and laptop cases for all! *cue confetti* )
3. PEPE. Always.
4. If you know me then you know FIT FAM will be somewhere on this list. I’ve never fitfammed but it’s always on my resolution list. This year could be the year of my washboard stomach and toned thighs. Nothing is impossible with God.
5. TRAVEL. Med school has always been the excuse. No more.
6. GOD. CHURCH. I can count how many times I went to church last year. I’m too ashamed to say it sef. For someone whose parents are pastors? Too poor.  There was always an excuse. No fuel. No light. No car. Too far. “Ikeoluwa did you go to church today? Olorun Nikan ni mo fi ko yin o. Alagemo ti bi’mo e tan…“. Heard my mother say that one too many times last year and I’m determined not to have to lie to her everytime she asks this year. So help me God. I’ve been church searching and I might have found one. I’m actually pretty excited.
7. Be. Less. Stubborn. This past year has shown me that the Ekiti blood in me is VERY strong because I no dey gree o. Both of us will die on the line.
8. I was supposed to buy myself a new car last year. Elegushi spender… The money disappeared. This might be the year of the MERCEDES.
9. Throw my mother the best 50th birthday PARTY ever. Aunty Yinka more than deserves it. Ademisola is going to make it happen.
10. Be Happy-er
I had an amazing 2015. I made a conscious effort to be happy last year and it truly can only get better. I have A LOT to be thankful for no doubt, but Oliver Twist…
It’s another year with a lot of hopes… Auto Haven. CaseNotes. Avril. Degree. Mercedes. CommitOrCommot.
2016, wassup, how you doing?

Ademisola is just hilarity with the way she presents her case notes every year. (See what I did there? No?) Her writing gets me eagerly looking forward to her turn on here. But she keeps claiming she’s not a writer. Like being a photographer, business woman and soon-to-be-doctor stops her literary talent from expressing itself. Mscheew.

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Dusk 20: Seun

I had great hopes for 2015, it was supposed to be the year, that year, when all the pieces of the puzzle miraculously fell into place and clicked out a perfect picture, it was supposed to be that year when I found out how to utilize my potential and churn out exceptional products, that year when I finally learnt to discipline my mind, and my body, curb my excesses and live fit, happy and successful. Alas, I ended the year 2015 unfit, unhappy and unsuccessful. 2015 definitely had its moments; don’t get me wrong, several false dawns, a couple of Firsts, a few good friends and some truly enjoyable moments, but the whole is a sum of its parts.

Hold up, hold up… I already feel depressed writing about my year, this was not the plan. Well in 2015, I learnt to be grateful, to be grateful for every breath you take, to be grateful for every word you (can) speak and those you (cannot) don’t, for every sincere friend you have and the not so sincere ones, for every moment you were appreciated and even in the moments you aren’t. I learnt that the only way to not commit suicide or die from depression is to live gratefully or is it in gratitude?Whatever.

In 2015, I thought of death more often than ever. No, I wasn’t thinking of committing suicide, I just found myself thinking of death, peaceful death, protracted death, violent death. Maybe it’s because I worked in a hospital for a huge chunk of the year; I also found myself staring the fear of failure in the face so many times that there were days I just curled up on my bed and did nothing but play games while feeling like an unaccomplished piece of putrid poo.

In 2015, I had a number of good friendships just cool down all of a sudden, and no matter how hard I tried to revive the friendship or put some life back into it, it felt like I was trying to punch a hole in a wall made of steel, with my head. In the end, I felt I was always the desperate one, clinging to a wisp of smoke, a memory of what had been. I guess I learnt to deal with loss.

2016 is going to be a much better year for me than 2015 was. In 2016, I hope to:

  1. Learn graphic design finally
  2. Get my first book published
  3. Blog more often, I also hope more people read my blog
  4. Grow spiritually. 2015 wasn’t a good year for me spiritually.
  5. Tell more people about Jesus
  6. Increase my income, and create a third income stream
  7. End the year with a weight of 70Kg maximum
  8. Cherish family and friends more than ever. I’m on a ‘one I love you daily’ plan where I tell at least one person I love them everyday
  9. Be very, very happy.

I pray for you guys that 2016 will be your best year yet, a year of self-realization, fulfillment, career advancement, love, good health, peace, joy, a closer relationship with God. You’ll end the year with testimonies, fam. Peace.


It’s always a pleasure and an inspiration to see people rise beyond  “…the previous year didn’t work out quite like I hoped” and go on to hope against hope and scribe well laid plans for the new year. Seun is certainly no exception to this.

I agree with you, Seun. 2016 is going to be a much better year for you than 2015 was. Amen.

Dusk 16: Ashiwel

So this year, I skipped on the resolutions. I came in like a wrecking ball…

Okay. Let’s start again.

I don’t know why I made no resolutions this year. Maybe I am avoiding disillusion, or maybe realism has finally packed a suitcase and moved in.

I’ve always been an optimist, and the new year makes——no matter how briefly——optimists of us all.

But life takes a battering ram to your optimism, daily. Sixteen days into 2016, I am proud to announce that my optimism is still standing.

I really have no elaborate expectations this year. Last year, I had many, and all but one ( the Chibok girls) came true.

This year, I feel like I am on the brink of greatness. I feel like beauty there is beauty waiting in the grey shadow of days to come, waiting to happen to me.

I feel like the last few seconds before the new year, before the fireworks; a breezy, expectant feeling that brings no cares.

And as the countdown begins and the last few seconds gallantly march on to fall at our feet, we become full of anticipation. There will be fireworks; we came here for this.

Five…Four…Three…Two…Pause.

That is me, right there; that one second before the new year swaggers in, before the sky erupts into magnificence.

Dear 2016, be the fireworks.


 

Ashiwel is one of the most driven people I know. I’ve seen him go from zero to hunnid real quick on the execution of ideas. And ideas are something he seems to have in abundance, so I’m pretty sure he’s good skipping on the resolutions. Don’t try this at home, kids :p

Day 12: Temitayo

I am not a writer but will try my best to put my thoughts/hope into words.

2015 was a really great year for me, I achieved 80% of what I set to do at the beginning of the year, started a new job, HRBP certifications, car, financially, made new friends, etc. I did lose a dear cousin and her twins towards the end of the year but God knows best.
 
2016 shall be a greater year for me. I really don’t have hopes for the year, just the things my heart desires. Hoping makes it all look good if I don’t get my heart desires at the end of the year.
 
By God’s grace, all I desire for this year: permanent position at the work place, another HR certification, better saving plan, a more positive attitude towards everything in general, no deaths, travel to at least 2 countries, join the workforce in church, make meaningful friends and fall in love and be loved unconditionally. 
 
For everyone who has used this platform to put out their hopes for the year, I pray God grants them, and by the end of 2016, we will all have reasons to give God all the Glory He deserves.
 

“Yes indeed, it won’t be long now.” God’s Decree.

“Things are going to happen so fast your head will swim, one thing fast on the heels of the other. You won’t be able to keep up. Everything will be happening at once—and everywhere you look, blessings! Blessings like wine pouring off the mountains and hills. I’ll make everything right again for my people Israel”


I met Temitayo last year and she’s turning out to be one of the fastest friends a brother can ask for. I know she’s going to meet more than 80% of her goals this year. How do I know? I just know these things. 

Things I (Will Never) Say

I’m not comfortable with saying these things. I wish I didn’t. I make a conscious effort to not say them out… but these words are constantly being screamed within the cavernous spaces in my head. At certain times in the past, I’ve been hopeful that I will someday be able to reverse the import of these words and in effect, the words themselves. But this has not happened and I have lost much hope.

Theses are words I say that I wish I didn’t.

I used to be a rapper.

I used to be a dancer.

I used to read a lot.

I used to have friends visit me at home.

I used to be more social.

I used to write poetry.

I used to be a sculptor.

I used to draw regularly.

I used to make music.

Some of these words are foregone conclusions. I will say them till the day I die. I’m resigned to the realities they form. I’m tempted to say “These words will never change” but someone once made the profound statement to “Never say never”. 

A few of these though are malleable. There are steps, mostly drastic, which I could take and possibly reverse these words and perhaps, someday I will.

There are other words though, which scare me. They threaten me daily to become as solid in my consciousness as the words above. I hope to never have reason to say them out loud. I never will.

These are words I hope to never say.

I used to make photographs.

I used to write.

I used to be an artist.

I used to be a blogger.

I used to be a romantic.

I used to be on twitter.

I used to design.

I used to want to get married.

I used to love Instagram.

I used to be an actor.

I used to be interested in visual effects.

I used to be an illustrator.

I used to travel a lot.

I used to tell stories.

I used to be alive.

Restless

Feeling some typa way and decided to live blog on twitter.

The result…


Stifled.
The restlessness is back.
I do not want to be in this place.
I do not want to be here any longer.
The stagnation is apparent.

The ceiling needs to be broken.
The rafters need to make way for the skies.

The smell of freedom wafts past my window.
I cannot perceive it, yet I know it is there.
I can see the scent. I can feel it. Taste it even.
Yet I have no idea how it smells.

Break the glass.
Breathe.
Live.

30 Days Late

Here we go.

Three months and here we go.

This is the first piece of any kind I’m writing in three months. Congratulations are in order, I think.

Now, what to write…

Should I write about not writing? Lol. Done that way too often at this point. I’ve found so many different ways of doing that now. Even as of starting this, I knew how I would do it if I would do it… But I won’t.

So what is this about then, if it isn’t about not-writing or why?

This shall be my 30 Days Of Hope entry.

In an ideal world, I would have practiced what I preached and gone first on the first of January before opening the floor to others. But no, I was drained and I chose to procrastinate till the end of the month. That was two months ago.

Three months into the year and I’m finally putting down what I want to accomplish this year. To be quite honest, the reason it’s taken this long is cos I’m still not sure what any of that is. But as the saying goes, “a failure to plan is a plan to fail”. I don’t want to go on coasting. So lemme lay down a pattern for going forward, no matter how sketchy.

I need to conquer at least two new countries this year. Three would be great. I ’suffer’ from wanderlust and I started with my ‘two new countries (minimum) a year’ plan in 2013. Last year, I managed to do just one, though I also managed a road trip within Nigeria. Couldn’t afford the second country due to the impromptu art project I embarked on (more on that soon). This year, I’ve already embarked on a road trip with this awesome travel collective I joined and I hope to share some of those experiences on here. However, I still plan to do two new countries this year. Three would be awesome, to make up for last year. Now, to figure out how…

Last year, I staged an exhibition. It was a greatly fulfilling project… for the most part. This year, I have no idea how I can possibly pull it off, but I hope to release a publication of some sort. Okay, a book. This is awfully ambitious but definitely possible. What kind of book, I don’t yet know. How? I haven’t the slightest idea. When? Haha. also want to do a deliberate art project. Definitely another exhibition to go along with it. Man, I almost feel like I’m shooting myself in the foot here. Sigh. Oh well…

Career wise, something has got to give. I’m itching for a change and there are several variables here. It could be a change in position, a change in location or a change in resolution. I’ve worked my butt off these last three years and especially these last three months. Something has just got to give. Hmm, We’ll see…

My walk with Christ has been rather lame these last few years. A few weeks ago, I made a step in the general direction of correcting the limp. It’s something I’ve been avoiding for years now but I finally ran out of excuses. I no longer had any reason to run. It was time to give in and so I did. My prayer is that it pays off. Lol, like it has a choice.

This year shall be great. In many ramifications. For me, for you, for all of us. It doesn’t matter what the first quarter has been like. Easy peasy, rough or tough… E go sha better.

In the end, e go better.

Amen.