Hopeless (the prequel)

Today is the 16th May, 2011, exactly the middle of the month and five days till The Rapture (JK). I presently serve as lowly staff in one of the ‘big’ *rolling eyes* Lagos advertising agencies and for whatever reason I haven’t been paid my hard-earned wages for the month of April. Delayed pay, I’ve noticed, seems to be the trend with so many organisations in our beloved Naija and I find it extremely sickening. I’ve, perhaps by someone up/out/down there’s sick sense of humour, experienced this my entire working life. From a shortlived television acting career in my early college days, to a very prominent entertainment outfit which, until very recently, also housed a certain, highly demanded and in equal measure, seemingly insensitive werey of a presenter *Hint! Hint!!*…. Heck, I’ve got to rant a bit more here. These people noh try at all, at all dat time o. Imagine: after resigning at the point at which I couldn’t take it anymore, a point at which I was being owed 3 months pay and was still expected to show up daily at an office half-way across Lagos from my abode, a point at which the mumus that labelled themselves ‘management’ were still issuing queries for people coming late or absenting themselves, I didn’t get my pay until 6 months after! The nerve of them people!!

…Anyway *ahem* *straightening hair and clothes* moving on with the resume of sorts, I got called up to serve my fatherland barely a month after I resigned (you go fear strategising nah) and experienced the same shamelessness of delayed pay working for government while my Nigerian Youth Suffering Continued in faraway Katsina… Yep, that’s where I served. Don’t look at me funny, I can also be somewhat patriotic when I wanna be *muttering* like say I no try redeploy Die! No luck *shrug*. Closely following that, I resumed work at my present place of work, where things had seemed rosy until… *Ghen! Ghen!!*… Now.

You see, for me, the issue is and has always been- Would these idiots, my fellow employees, whose job description says ‘mangement’ or ‘human resources’ do their frigging jobs like I’ve done mine over the past month(s) and manage the human resources of this slow and lumbering organisation?!” We’re human beings for goodness sake, we’re not farm animals to be used till we’re useless and then slaughtered to be used as feed for our fellow livestock without being given reason. I’ve no grouse with there allegedly being no funds to pay salaries at the very moment, ish happens. My grouse is: “Would you just send us a memo, perhaps a mail, put som’n on the notice board, call a general meeting, look us in the face and explain to us, lie to us, console us, beg us, psyche us…
Just. Frigging. TALK. TO. US!!! *pant pant pant* *pause* *regains composure*

Anyway sha, this one na advanced warning. Boys’ eyes don dey redder for dese zones and if dem no dey careful, we go soon para on top anoda levelz. All dese under-G whispers for corridor and on top staircase say “When dem go pay our money nah?” nor dey work again. E be like say na until we release yawa gas for dis atmosphere na I’m dem go come begin understand the P. Just in case sha, I might just put my cv up on my next post so in case of in casity, if anyborry is finding a mad hatter of a an art director, I shall just indicate my availability (like play, like play, this whole post done turn to long-version of my work experience sha).

Well, it was while I was at Soundcity…. Yeah, I said it! Sue me!! >:p *mscheeew*… Soundcity Blast magazine, to be precise, that I began writing the ‘following’ piece. Concluded it at some point during my service year, erratic writer that I sometimes am. Well, I’ll be sharing the piece with y’all in three pieces (pun intended)… starting with this one, an appetizer of sorts. The first course shall be served tomorrow *now ignoring the glares and pissed off stares that I can’t kukuma see you giving me*

In the meantime, please enjoy the rest of my temporarily very short and measly blog and if you’ve been led here by a mutual friend or a retweet on twitter or from facebook please subscribe so you can receive fresh and first-hand the subsequent posts or/also follow me on twitter (@Olatoxic) to see me rant further (well, not likely :p)

Please fell free to use the comment boxes below. Share your experiences (or the lack thereof) with us. What would you do if you were in my shoes?