Papa must Die!!

Well, I can lie to you like all these other bloggers that ” I’ve been really busy cooking up something wonderful for you but in the meantime, please enjoy this small offering while I keep working endlessly on some other wonderful post that will blow your mind ” (after which you don’t see another post for like 2 months)….. but I won’t. This is all I’ve been able to come up with since my last post three weeks ago….

Okay, now I’m lying :p. I now actually have enough material to be a little more consistent without my brain’s OS freezing on me. Let’s just hope I can keep avoiding my¬†good friend, Procrastination and his brother, Indiscipline…. *covers face*

Please enjoy…

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Poison.

Yes, poison was the way forward. I had tolerated plenty from that old bastard but this… this was the last straw.

This my by-force neighbour had taken things too far. We had lived in peaceful co-existence only because first- I no just get im time and second- because I dey respect im old age. After all, like my brother, Chinedu, said the last time he was over “E kuku first you reach hia. Free di guy jarey”

We called him Papa because of all his grey hair but to be honest we couldn’t really tell his age. Couldn’t even say whether he was old or young. Just that he was a very experienced rogue.

Papa took my food without permission, I didn’t say anything… slept in my bed when I was out, leaving disgusting traces behind I must add, I let it go… pulled the power cord while I was watching television, I just plugged it back in… repelled my guests with his sudden appearances and gymnastics, I would calmly apologise on his behalf… He would enter and leave as he pleased, eat whatever he felt like, sleep whenever he liked, shit wherever he wanted… I no talk shishi….

But trying to get with my babe, in my own house, on my own frigging bed?! Ehn eh! Mba o!! Dat one was intolerable.

So poison…

Poison was the only way.

It was after hearing that scream, a shriek that would frighten any corpse… After seeing my woman flee from me like I had a scythe in skeletal claws, all the time wailing how she would never step into my place again… Only after she’d told me that I had to choose between her and Papa, my long-time squatter and co-inhabitant… That I knew the pest had to go… permanently.

I knew then that I had to smoke the rat out…

…And kill him.

Kill it.

With Poison.

Or how else would you react if your babe told you she’d awoken in your bed, in which she’d fallen asleep alone, to find a rodent on top of her?…